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kt
17-04-05, 22:36
Hi all, just wanted to share this with you as was so pleased with myself.
After nearly 3 1/2 years I finally went out on a girlie night!
The last time I was in a pub I had one of my biggest panic attacks, all I remember is noticing everyones mouths move and hearing a hum of chatter, i felt everyone was looking at me (of course they weren't) and felt as though i was going to faint. My boyfriend ushered me out and i swore i would never step foot inside another pub!
This became a huge issue with me and I have declined the offers of nights out and party events since. Until last night.....
The evening had been arranged for a while, and when asked if i would go too, i declined.
Yesterday afternoon I arranged with just one friend that i would go, I chose not to tell the others as i didn't want to make it a big deal.
I planned what i was wearing, so I didn't get stressed out finding a last minute outfit or upset over that whole "God I look so fat tonight" drama.
My boyfriend dropped me and my friend in town and said that he would come back for me at any time, even if it was 5 mins later. This helped as I knew i wasn't putting myself in a situation where i would be stuck somewhere for hours struggling to get a cab home. Armed with my Diazepam and my wonderfully understanding (first aider!!) friend I walked into quite a busy pub, ordered a drink and found a place to stand near the doors, (incase i needed a quick getaway!)
After meeting the others we moved onto a louder more clubby pub. This too was the place where i had had the huge panic attack years earlier and the reason i'd stayed in for so long. As i walked in i braced myself, and prepared myself for walking straight back out again. But i didn't, i just walked straight on up to the bar and ordered another soft drink!
We found a table (near the door! LOL) and sat there for rest of night.
I actually had a really good evening and am looking forward to doing it again. Just knowing that i had my escape routes planned and that there was no pressure on me and that i could leave at any time really helped me to do it. I had spent years building this fear up in my head and once i had faced it i realised that it was me who had made it and so it was only me who could destroy it!
Thanx for reading this, I just wanted to share it with you. KT x:)

Be gentle and you will need no strength, be patient and you will achieve all things.

Meg
17-04-05, 22:40
Wow thats wonderful to read KT. Very well done indeed on all your hard work to get here.

Now do it again next week to anchor it !!

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Karen
17-04-05, 23:30
Well done KT

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

sal
18-04-05, 00:14
Well done KT

You did it and were prepared for any hard times but you coped and now you can do it you will do it again and find it even easier.

Well proud of you.





Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

alexis
18-04-05, 00:59
Hi kt
Very well done, i am very envious of you and hope to be writing a similar post myself in the near future.
Alexis

kt
18-04-05, 19:14
Thanx for replies. I can honestly say that my improvement has been because of the huge help and support I have received from you all on this site, being able to ask the questions, (as crazy as some of them were!!), that i have and to get such invaluable advice back has been the main factor in helping me get through this. Am still not quite there but certainly on my way! Thankyou all so much. KT xxxxxx;)

Be gentle and you will need no strength, be patient and you will achieve all things.

nomorepanic
18-04-05, 19:28
Well done KT - we are all very proud of you for doing this!!

I hope things continue to go well for you from now on.

Are you going back again next week?

Nicola

henri
18-04-05, 19:32
WELL DONE KT!!!

that is such fantastic news! you must be feeling on top of the world.
i reckon you will find it that bit easier next time you do it, so make sure you plan another outing soon!
take care,

henri x

carlin
18-04-05, 21:10
Hi there KT,
How brilliant, it was a pleasure reading your post - had a great big smile on my face, keep at it and enjoy. take care.

Sarah-Jane
18-04-05, 21:22
[8D]Excellent news KT well done you!!!:D

Planning your potential escape routes was a brilliant idea and gave you reasurance and enabled you to enjoy yourself relax and have a fab night out. Keep it up girlie you deserve it[:P]

Love & Hugs from Sarah-Jane xxxx