Health Anxiety: Are you as nuts as me?

[jojo2316]

My HA is driving me completely mad, and I wondered if anyone else is in as deep as me.

It all began 4 months ago, suddenly, 3 months after my second baby was born. Since then I have gone through panic, despair, depression and fear that I have cancer. Most days I truly believe I have one form of cancer or another. Today, for example, I have a vague ache in my flank and I am driven to distraction worrying about kidney cancer. I can't think about anything else. At all. I desperately want someone to rule it out for me, and the feel that if they could, I would be happy again. I am analysing the sensation, trying to interpret its origins and looking stuff up on the internet. I am, simply, obsessed.

And yet, the day before yesterday, I thought I had a brain tumour and the day before that I thought I had ovarian cancer and the day before THAT, it was bowel cancer. Each 'potential cancer' feels so, so real and so, so threatening, while the previous ones were of course imagination/innocent.

To an outside observer, like my mum, it is obvious there is nothing wrong with me, other than extreme hypochondria, yet I am blinded by my own fear. It is dominating my life at the moment and I am constantly, obsessively, checking for lumps and monitoring bodily sensations for sinister patterns.

I am also paying for more and more medical tests (my GP, who knows my problem, would not, quite rightly, refer me for NHS tests). So far I have had a breast ultrasound, an occult fecal blood test a complete Bupa health assessment and still I want more, more more! And all this from someone who hadn't visited a doctor in a decade before all this started.

So, tell me, is anyone else this nuts? And does it ever get better. Right now, I can't imagine my way out of this. I see it continuing until oneday I really do get cancer and then what a waste my life will have been.

If anyone wants to describe their own HA I'd love to hear about it.... xx

[kaz0904]

I feel exactly the same as you! You are not alone at all *huggles*

I have had headaches which I thought were a brain tumour, chest pain which I thought was breast cancer, all over aches and pains, which I thought meant I had AIDS.........
Currently I am struggling with my digestive problems, I have pain in my upper-left abdomen, which I am terrified is caused by cancer of some sort or another. I have looked up my symptoms, and found a huge variety of things it could be....Ovarian Cancer, Leukeamia, Stomach Cancer, Colon Cancer.....

I have a 9 month old baby, and when I was in early pregnancy, I drove myself crackers waiting for the blood test results to come back. 10 weeks of hell, thinking I had AIDS or something terrible!

At least you are being pro-active and getting tests to rule out the worst! Its a shame your GP won't send you for any NHS tests. While they think its a waste of time, what price can you put on peace of mind? My GP offered me tests a couple of years ago, to prove to me I wasn't seriously ill, but I said no. I am too afraid most of the time to visit my GP, as I am terrified of what they might find! I have forced myself to make an appointment for tomorrow, to get checked out, but I am in bits worrying about it now.

[Humly]

I can totally understand where you are coming from, having suffered from HA myself. I must say that I got a lot worse after having my first child 11 years ago and cancer was my thing too. I think it was made worse in my case by spending so much time on my own with the kids and not being able to talk about my worries to anyone as I was embarassed and ashamed by what I was feeling. I didnt even tell my gp and she still doesn't know now what I have been through. When it started my own mother just told me to stop being silly and pull myself together. That helped a lot as you can imagine and so I kept it all to myself. The thing that saved me was this website. Being able to come here and talk about any worries, however trivial they may seem is what I say saved me from going nuts. There is always someone there to give you advice and reassure you. Now I do not look up symptoms on the internet if I can help it and try not to go rushing down to the docs every 5 mins. I just come here instead.

I am now back working part time - for the NHS would you believe - and feel so much better about my own health issues.

Take care

LT

[Kag27]

Hi there,

Looks like we have alot in common. I find myself usually focusing on my head. I have aches and pains and all kinds of weird sensations that I feel so I am terrified that I have some form of cancer. However through all the doctor visits I have been told that it is all stress and anxiety related but I still can not seem to convince myself of this. Try to go to this site and see if maybe it will help you with your symptoms. I try and visit all the time to rationalize my thoughts. http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml

[shiv]

Hi there

Just to let you know, I bet I'm more nuts than you'll ever be. If you knew some of the things that I worry about, you'd probably laugh yourself silly.

Take care,

Siobhan x

[halfnormal]

Ha...welcome to my last few months.

If I could say something that has worked well for me is this: I run. If I can run I say to myself "I can't be sick"

Your body fights cancer hard and it can be exhausting. It know its not really a Truthfully statement. But it helps me " i say: IF I can run and feel good doing it then I'm fine."

Anyways see a mental health professional they help!

[bab]

I think I am the nuttiest person alive - I am constantly waiting for myself to keel over! I have every illness going and my brain tumour is especially bad tonight cos I cant get my words out or spell properly. I worry 24/7