Sister Morphine
16-06-08, 18:20
Hi Everyone,
I happened to stumble across this forum by chance, I was looking for information on Propranalol, as my doctor has put me on them. I would say that I've suffered from anxiety/panic attacks and been prone to depression for the last 25-6 years. I would say the death of my Grandad 26 years ago was the start of my depression, maybe my anxiety/depression goes back to infants school. I was also sexually assaulted as a girl by some boys from school, and shortly afterwards my cousin began feeling me in a sexual way. AS I was made to feel so guilty for the incidents with the boys I couldn't ask my parents if what my cousin was doing was right or wrong. I think I spent my teenage years trying to please men sexually, I know that did get me into a few scrapes, risking pregnancy or even STI, fortunately neither happened.
I then met my now ex husband, he could sometimes be violent, I did make allowances as he was diagnosed with MS. I was his carer for eight years, until I could no longer cope, and we mutually agreed to separate/divorce.
To cut a long story short since then my work situation has been errattic, and I've been on the sick a year signed off with stress and depression. It was after being signed off from seeking work that a gynae problem came to light, this causes much physical pain. My doctor has just referred me for counselling. I'm trying to get a diagnosis for my gynae prob, the consultant is on about fitting a Mirena coil, this is making me more anxious, as I often have a dream and panic attack, where I'm naked from the waist down , and instead of fitting the coil, he's raping me. I know this dream has resulted in panic attacks.
I'm possibly at my happiest I've been for a long while, I've a most wonderful boyfriend:yesyes::):D,, the only thing is he lives 60 miles or so away, but I'm going to see him tomorrow:yesyes:, and he's wonderfully accepting of my past. We hope to move in together soon, well we're trying to plan it.
Sorry for my life story, BTW if you're wondering how I got my name it's 'cos I was listening to the Sticky Fingers album by The Rolling Stones earlier , and I thought that it would make a good forum name. I love music especially 60's and 70's Rock.
I happened to stumble across this forum by chance, I was looking for information on Propranalol, as my doctor has put me on them. I would say that I've suffered from anxiety/panic attacks and been prone to depression for the last 25-6 years. I would say the death of my Grandad 26 years ago was the start of my depression, maybe my anxiety/depression goes back to infants school. I was also sexually assaulted as a girl by some boys from school, and shortly afterwards my cousin began feeling me in a sexual way. AS I was made to feel so guilty for the incidents with the boys I couldn't ask my parents if what my cousin was doing was right or wrong. I think I spent my teenage years trying to please men sexually, I know that did get me into a few scrapes, risking pregnancy or even STI, fortunately neither happened.
I then met my now ex husband, he could sometimes be violent, I did make allowances as he was diagnosed with MS. I was his carer for eight years, until I could no longer cope, and we mutually agreed to separate/divorce.
To cut a long story short since then my work situation has been errattic, and I've been on the sick a year signed off with stress and depression. It was after being signed off from seeking work that a gynae problem came to light, this causes much physical pain. My doctor has just referred me for counselling. I'm trying to get a diagnosis for my gynae prob, the consultant is on about fitting a Mirena coil, this is making me more anxious, as I often have a dream and panic attack, where I'm naked from the waist down , and instead of fitting the coil, he's raping me. I know this dream has resulted in panic attacks.
I'm possibly at my happiest I've been for a long while, I've a most wonderful boyfriend:yesyes::):D,, the only thing is he lives 60 miles or so away, but I'm going to see him tomorrow:yesyes:, and he's wonderfully accepting of my past. We hope to move in together soon, well we're trying to plan it.
Sorry for my life story, BTW if you're wondering how I got my name it's 'cos I was listening to the Sticky Fingers album by The Rolling Stones earlier , and I thought that it would make a good forum name. I love music especially 60's and 70's Rock.