halfnormal
16-06-08, 18:44
So I've always been an anxious person. Only realized it a few years ago when I started having OCD violent thoughts (ugh!). Took about a year to get those to dissapear and quit therapy. Whoops.
Anyways my Health Anxiety which has always been minor but there has returned.
It all started when my mother was Pre-Diagnosed again with Breast Cancer. Now she ended up not having it again but the doctor told her he thought it was. So since that moment I've had the following in my mind:
Appendicits: Turned out to be a muscle strain and even though it never went to the bottom right and the pain lasted a few weeks. I still kept thinking it was acute appendicitis (which typically doesn't last a few weeks :) )
Testicular Cancer: This set me off even worse. The Appendicits scare made me say "I should go to a doctor to set my mind straight" I hadn't been in forever. Of course Before going to the doctor I checked out everything about me. And found a tiny lump on my testicle. Went googling and scared myself silly! I was hysterically crying (And I'm a mid 20's dude) the day my doctor said "Well maybe we should get an ultrasound". I cried again with relief when it turned out to be nothing but a tiny hydrocele.
Lung Cancer: I was spitting tiny amounts of blood in the mornings. Turned out to be from my noise and our my gums. No cough yet I still thought lung cancer.
Chest/Bone/Rib Cancer: Found a lump on my chest where it attached to my sternum. Turned out to be MY RIB!!! Went to the doctors 3 times for this. Then found a fleshy tiny lump. Turned out to be just fleshy tissue.
BTW all my blood tests from the Physical came back perfectly fine and were explained to me by a PA who prescribed my Xanax because I was such a mess.
MS: Scared of MS because of tingling in fingers/hands (Turns out I was not breathing correctly at all and type on a computer all day and play guitar and video games). MS doesn't scare me that much however as at least I'll live a full life. Weird how that works right.
ALS: Twitched a little one day looked up if it was Brain Tumor symptom and came up with Lou Gherigs disease. Found a great article that said if you can balance on 1 foot and play guitar you don't have ALS. Still scared the crap out of me.
Now I'm back to Brain Tumor. I'll post my Brain Tumor suff in another post because, "well thats what I need help with now"
Anyways its funny because my blood tests are fine, physically I'm getting in better shape, I have more energy on and on. Yet little things set me off BIG TIME. Not in Panic but mostly in a "I'm going to die before I even make it to my wedding (in august). It really sucks and becomes very depressing. I've learned to handle my panic attacks but the anxiety from Health has been awful.
Some days are better then others but we'll see.
Thanks All curious to see your comments its great to see others like me although it sucks for all of us to have these mental ailments.
Anyways my Health Anxiety which has always been minor but there has returned.
It all started when my mother was Pre-Diagnosed again with Breast Cancer. Now she ended up not having it again but the doctor told her he thought it was. So since that moment I've had the following in my mind:
Appendicits: Turned out to be a muscle strain and even though it never went to the bottom right and the pain lasted a few weeks. I still kept thinking it was acute appendicitis (which typically doesn't last a few weeks :) )
Testicular Cancer: This set me off even worse. The Appendicits scare made me say "I should go to a doctor to set my mind straight" I hadn't been in forever. Of course Before going to the doctor I checked out everything about me. And found a tiny lump on my testicle. Went googling and scared myself silly! I was hysterically crying (And I'm a mid 20's dude) the day my doctor said "Well maybe we should get an ultrasound". I cried again with relief when it turned out to be nothing but a tiny hydrocele.
Lung Cancer: I was spitting tiny amounts of blood in the mornings. Turned out to be from my noise and our my gums. No cough yet I still thought lung cancer.
Chest/Bone/Rib Cancer: Found a lump on my chest where it attached to my sternum. Turned out to be MY RIB!!! Went to the doctors 3 times for this. Then found a fleshy tiny lump. Turned out to be just fleshy tissue.
BTW all my blood tests from the Physical came back perfectly fine and were explained to me by a PA who prescribed my Xanax because I was such a mess.
MS: Scared of MS because of tingling in fingers/hands (Turns out I was not breathing correctly at all and type on a computer all day and play guitar and video games). MS doesn't scare me that much however as at least I'll live a full life. Weird how that works right.
ALS: Twitched a little one day looked up if it was Brain Tumor symptom and came up with Lou Gherigs disease. Found a great article that said if you can balance on 1 foot and play guitar you don't have ALS. Still scared the crap out of me.
Now I'm back to Brain Tumor. I'll post my Brain Tumor suff in another post because, "well thats what I need help with now"
Anyways its funny because my blood tests are fine, physically I'm getting in better shape, I have more energy on and on. Yet little things set me off BIG TIME. Not in Panic but mostly in a "I'm going to die before I even make it to my wedding (in august). It really sucks and becomes very depressing. I've learned to handle my panic attacks but the anxiety from Health has been awful.
Some days are better then others but we'll see.
Thanks All curious to see your comments its great to see others like me although it sucks for all of us to have these mental ailments.