help

[milly jones]

please why do i keep hurting my friends

its taken me ages to make friends

i just keep messing up

i dont know what to do

[samc100]

Hugs....

Do you think you do this because....

1. you are scared to get too close? You get so far and then subconciously can't cope?

2. You are inflicting the pain inside you onto them?

I struggle with friendships too. I back off sometimes. I leave them wondering why... It's horrible and I hate it. I do text them now and say " Sorry nothing personal" I know it's me and not them. It's hard isn't it?

xxxxxx

[eternally optimistic]

Hi Millie

Im peculiar with people, LOL!!!!

When Im at work or other situations with people, Im quite confident but the minute I meet these people outside of their normal situation, I go to pot.

Im sure your giving yourself a hard time over nothing as far as they are concerned. Dont punish yourself.

J

[milly jones]

i just feel like curling up and going to sleep

im crying so much, the tears are just rolling down my face and im shaking

im just so stupid at this

[Zingara]

I don't think you should worry so much Milly. I know I've not spoken to you in chat yet, but I've read a lot of your posts and you're clearly a very kind, caring and likeable person. I don't think you should fret so much about what people think of you! We all get it wrong sometimes. We all think you're lovely. xx

[eternally optimistic]

Millie

I totally agree with Samira.

I think your replies tell a good story of a caring compassionate person.

[marie1974]

hiya milly aww poor u, listen u r giving yourself a hard time hun and u shouldnt, i too struggle cos i come across as bubbly chatty smiley etc but inside i constantly worry what people think of me and did i say the right thing or look an idiot, do they think im weird etc i am slowly learning through cbt not to worry wot people think and to be confident in myself and just be myself. dont worry hun be confident just be you xx

[milly jones]

thanks donna

i hate being like this, i feel so shitty and worthless

hopefully tomorrow's another day

millxx

[mandie]

Awww Milly

:hugs:

hope tommorow is a better day.

love mandie x

[Cathy V]

Has something happened to make you feel like this? why do you think you dont do so well with friends? Have you actually upset somebody? otherwise youve got no reason to feel so bad. Everyone on nmp will be telling you in the next few days how wonderful you are, so there you go.

It could be worse...you could be grumpy old me, but im fortunate in that im not particularly bothered if nobody thinks im wonderful...im just me and can only be me. I guess i dont really seek approval.

Hope you feel better after the replies.
Take care Mill.
Cathy xxx :hugs:

[kazzie]

Awwww Mills:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You are a lovely person, I for one have noticed the support you give to others:hugs:

Hope that tomm the sun will shine again:yesyes:

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Pickle]

Aw Milly :hugs:

I havent spoken to you yet, but read most of your replies to other threads and those replies come from a kind and caring person, not someone who would intentionally hurt anyone, especially her friends.

Has something happened today to make you feel this way? Please try not to be so hard on yourself lol - arent we all guilty of that one.

Here's a big hug for you Milly :hugs: and I hope tomorrow seems brighter than today

x

[clutterbug]

Hi Milly,

You are so very kind and thoughtful. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We all do things that we think aren't so great. I'm sure it isn't as bad as you are feeling right now.
:hugs:

People need to understand. Being a social butterfly doesn't come easy to most people. I know it doesn't for me. Get some rest, sweetie.
:hugs:

x x
clutterbug

[milly jones]

thanks so much for ur support last night

i am feeling better today

i dont know about others but sa hits me harder in the evenings, guess its cos ive got less time to get it sorted before bed.

it feels just like those ppl who describe fear with their health, no matter how many ppl tell me its ok it just gets bigger and bigger in my brain until i feel like my heads going to explode. the anxious predictions start and then the fear of a pa will take over, or worse the dreaded night time pa!

the only way i can get it sorted is to apologise to the person and hope they forgive me. quite often they havent even noticed and i end up making a bigger fool of myself. or if i have said something to offend i dig the hole deeper with more anxious words and make matters worse, i should come with a warning label!!

ive been told that 'i do it for attention', but i cant control it i really cant just like ppl cant control their fear when their hearts skipping beats or they have a bad headache and they google.

i did sort itself out and there wasnt a problem but inside my head the fear is so real, but so irrational.

anyway musnt rant on

diolch yn fawr

mill xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[popsy]

Only just seen your post Milly, wish id been around last night.

You've always been a great friend to me and NEVER offended me EVER!!! I think you worry you have when you havent, you are just a sensitive person, there is nothing wrong with that hunny, it just means you are kind and caring, theres much worse things to be! Its hard to make friends when you consider you arent worthy to be one, and i promise you, YOU ARE!!! You have always said i understand you and (occassionally) give good advice, so this time believe me, people really really like you and you dont offend people, how could you when you worry so much about it in the first place!!! Hunny, just be you, you're GREAT!!!!!
Love Pops x x x

[marie1974]

hi milly glad u feeling better you always are lovely to people on here and care alot i cant ever imagine u ever offending people hun, please dont worry and keep smiling and posting cos we all care about you here hugs xxxx

[Cathy V]

Glad you're feeling better today milly, well i know you are coz weve had a bit of a laugh earlier with a few of the others havent we. I dont know why you think so poorly of yourself, your're a great girl and have many pals on nmp.

Chin up Cariad
Cathy xxx :)

[cardmaker]

Milly your posting come across as a kind, caring, thoughtful person. Try not to worry too much about what others think of you.

Special hugs for a special person :hugs:

[eternally optimistic]

Hi Milly

See, so many people care about you on here.

Hope that reassures you and try not to worry that you are offending others, Im sure you not.

Glad you've had a better day today.

[Lolly25]

Hi Millie,

Just wanted you to know that you were one of the first people to make me feel welcome on this sight and that tells me that you are kind, caring and attentive!!!

I often call up my friends in a panic because they havent replied to my text and i think ive upset them and they are annoyed at me. EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY TELL ME THEY HAVE JUST BEEN BUSY AND THEY LOVE ME try to TRUST YOURSELF all these people cant have got it wrong,

Big Hugs. xx

[Bill]

please why do i keep hurting my friends

You don't Milly.:hugs: It's only your anxiety that convinces you do so to relieve your anxious symptoms you have to be reassured that you actually haven't hurt anyone.

I don't think you do it for attention either. I think you just want reassurance.

I don't know your history but I feel sure your anxiety stems from how you've been treated by others perhaps either by being accused of hurting of them or by being left on your own alot. Maybe they or events have made you feel you must be a bad person so when you think you've hurt someone it reinforces the bad feelings you have about yourself? Also my feeling is you've built up a fear of being abandoned so you have an irrational worry of upsetting friends because you fear them leaving you on your own? I can't be specific though because I don't know your past.

In truth though you'll Always attract friends because of the kind caring woman you are and I just don't believe that you could ever deliberately hurt anyone and friends will know that because they'll see you for the lovely woman that you are.

I think by seeking reassurance from friends, you'll continue your anxiety cycle so you need to reassure yourself that if someone feels hurt, they'll Tell you and if they're quiet, it's simply because they've been busy. The anxiety will pass each time and your confidence will build.

You'll Never be alone Milly because you'll Never have any trouble making friends because you're So Caring. Genuine friends will always be around and will come back when needed. Those that don't, are not worth worrying about because when we're in need we all need friends we can rely on.

The reality is you never really need to fear being left on your own because friends will always want your caring friendship and support because they'll know how Lucky they are to have such a friend in You.:hugs:

[milly jones]

i understand that everyone on here is so lovely and im fine now cos ive sorted my prob, till next time. lol thank you all so much for ur love and reassurances.

i just get these panics that i cant control

but boomer will tell u, why dont i have any friends in the real world?

sorry

mill xx

[Granny Primark]

Aww milly have some hugs mate:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
I think from your posts your a loving caring person.
Im sure that if you are a caring person that your more lightly to suffer with anxiety.

[BeltaineInchy]

Just a suggestion Milly, perhaps you aren't. All of what I put here is based on me btw. and in face to face chatting, not online. To be honest I have never seen you put anything wrong in chat online/shrug.

Sometimes I say the wrong thing and I can see shocked reactions on peoples faces and I know what I have said has upset them and I have gone down in their estimation. But are they still my friends?

There's an easy way to find out. One simple word, sorry. If they then forgive you they were your friends, if they don't they never were your friends.
I have lost friends by not apologising when I should, I have lost friends from avoiding them. I have never lost friends by upsetting them by something I have said - although quite often I think I have.

Hope this helps

Inchy
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