Why is going out so hard?

[Anna C]

Hi,
I don't have agoraphobia, I know this because I work full time. I think work is abit of a habit for me I have been going to the same place for so long now,although I find work hard but I keep going.

When I'm not working like this week I find going out really hard sometimes. Today was the first time I've been out and just getting out the door was really difficult. Then I went on a 10 min bus ride. I did some shopping I was ok but then the shopping bags were heavy, I started to feel uncomfortable. Then I started thinking what if I panic, then I started to feel hot and sweaty.I tried to talk to myself I tried not to panic but its so hard ,what are you supposed to think about and how are you supposed to distract yourself?

When I got home which was less then 2 hrs later I was so nervy and also very tired. I know I did it and I know I got home safely and nothing happened but why has it got to be so hard?
Why do I keep seeing other peolpe walking down the street who stride along full of confidence like they haven't got a care in the world.
If anyone could offer any help or advice I would love to hear it.
Thank you. Anna

[lorac]

Anna I can't offer much help but I can tell you that you are not alone feeling like this, I too look at others and think why can't I have confidence like they do. I have agoraphobia caused through worrying about my panics when I am out but I make myself keep going out and trying to see the panic through, sometimes it is easier than others. All I can say is try and see it for what it is, just panic and try and work through it. I have been practising this for
sometime and it is getting easier.

Hope these feeling improve for you and I wish you well.

Carol
x

[Anna C]

Hi Carol,
Thank you for your quick reply. I know you're right and I'm not the only one, it normally helps to think I'm not alone. But today I'm feeling sad for me and everyone else who is going through this.

I phoned a help line about anxiety a few months a go and the lady on the phone was talking about anxiety. She was explaining that it is an illness, so if it is, is it self inflicted? Am I really making myself feel this bad and if so why can't I stop?

I'm sorry for ranting, I'm having one of those days!
I hope it continues to get easier for you, good luck and take care. Anna

[milly jones]

anna,

lots of us look normal on the outside but have hidden fears. u just dont know whats going on.

sometimes ppl with utmost confidence outwardly are scared inside, or have something they feel uncomfortable with.

u dont see the whole person by looking at the persona they portray.

i for one would rather be the person i am now than an arrogant, self opinionated bully, anx and all.

one the whole ppl with anxiety, and all those ive met on nmp, may have problems but they are the most caring, loving and generous ppl i have ever met.

i know this doesnt help ur anxiety hun, but pls dont feel bad by measuring urself against others.

u have a medical condition which you are trying to fight each and every day.

i for one think the world of u for continuing at work, i wish i had the strength to do that.

the panic attacks will get easier as u learn to be less afraid of having them

best of luck

milly xx

[purplehaze]

First of all well done in keeping working because that is great and I am so glad to hear you are being strong there.

Panic attacks do tend to creep in with just one thought and its the "what ifs" that start to appear and then we start to go with them. How do we stop the what ifs
How do we stop that first negative thought?

well the truth is we cant but we can stop it growing into something else!!


I use different approaches to the negative thoughts

1/ I talk to myself and tell myself that the panic is a lie and no harm will come to me.
2/I count from 1000 down by subtracting 7 each time
3/ I send a nice txt to someone as I am walking or on the bus

The main thing is just to go at your pace and remember some of the folk that we see walking about may not have great lives at all but they just put on a face to the world...


your a survivor and you will overcome this because you are strong

hugs

kev

[milly jones]

we posted at same time hun

no its not self inflicted

its your body saying its had enough of some kind of stress.

you cannot control whether u get it or not.

there is belief that its predetermined genetically and/or from ur childhood experiences

it is not ur fault hun

milly xxx :hugs:

[Anna C]

Hi,

Thank you Kev and Millie for your kind words.
I hope to go to the doctors while I'm off work and ask about CBT, so I haven't given up just yet!

Thanks again for your help and advise and for the support - I really needed it. Take Care. Anna x

[mtatum4496]

Anna, what you experienced is not unusual at all. Most of us who are working through the illness of anxiety have what is commonly known as "safe places". A safe place is where your anxiety level does not seem to escalate to the point of triggering a panic attack.

It sounds as if your workplace is in fact one of your safe places. That is excellent, as many people cannot count work among the places where the anxiety remains at a lower level. Count this as a real blessing.

I work from home. This is good in one sense, as my last job outside the home was one of the factors that finally pushed me over the line, moving me from simply being stressed out to being ill with GAD. All along, I have had a few safe places, such as the homes of friends. For some reason that I don't examine too closely, my car seems to also be a safe place.

In fact, I have stopped trying to analyze why any one place is "safe" to my mind, and others are not. Instead, I revel in the existence of safe places and also appreciate those occasions when I notice some other location is becoming less frightful and I am able to spend more time in one of those spots without feeling like I am about to come apart mentally.

Lately, the park has become a safe place for me. I also have begun to notice small changes in the anxiety levels I experience at several locations that had been quite frightful for me. Where a few months ago, I could spend maybe a half hour in those places, I often now can manage an hour and sometimes a little more. There is still anxiety present, but it does not reach the same level as it once did in those places. So I count that as progress.

Keep enjoying your safe places, and treasure the measure of respite they provide for you. At the same time, do continue to pursue active treatment for your anxiety. No one approach works for all of us, but with patience and a good physician, the right combination of methods will eventually emerge and begin to produce results.