My Anxious Mind and Me - trying to quiet the noise

[red27]

I've spent a while pondering what I should post on here. I've been a member for a couple of weeks, and the site has been a great source of help for me at the moment. I'm going through a pretty bleak patch (or so it feels), mainly brought on by some recent difficulties with sleep in the last few weeks, due to a move of house. I've had short periods of depression/anxiety in the past, but not with any sleep disturbances - in fact, probably sleeping more than less! But it seems recently, sleep has become a bit of an obsession of my anxious mind, leading, of course, to less sleep. (Oh, what a wonderful paradox it is. I sometimes wish the human body had been designed with a "Sleep" button!)

This has led to what feels like a bit of a general anxiety about sleep, which is truly a pain, let me tell you :) In turn, this has led my anxious mind to come up with some rather bizzare assumptions about myself and my life (you know, the little lies your anxiety whispers to you when you're feeling down?). Mainly, my anxious mind thinks...

- That my sleeping medication I'm on won't work, every time I go to bed (I'm taking 50mg Trazodone at night, for about 10 nights now, and it's worked every time! I also know that it's a low dose, so it seems like the gentle effect it has is all I need to drop off - I also know, from other people's experience, it can be many months - if not more - before you develop a tolerance to the stuff)
- That my antidepressants will never work (20mg Citalopram, for about 3 weeks, which seems to be having the very slightest effect, although my anxious mind keeps telling me "Nope, you're just making it up. No effect at all. Just go back to worrying, you'll be much happier")
- That I'll never ever sleep naturally again, now that I've been taking the Trazodone (even though I know this to be nonsense, I'll sleep when my anxiety dies down!)

Basically, just lots of crazy things, which I'm sure sound familiar to some of you! I'm really just posting here looking for reassurances, because I know, deep down that this is just a phase, and that I'll return to being my usual, brighter self at some point. I just need to learn to shout louder than my anxious mind and get some rest!

Especially when I'm trying to sleep, doing relaxation exercises and suchlike, even when I'm doing visualisations, calming meditation and things like that, I can't shut off the bit of my head that tries to notice when I'm falling asleep, or worries about it, and it always seems to be able to nudge itself in and make me anxious again. Does anyone else have this same problem? What's the best way to overcome it, is it just a case of learning to relax fully?

[milly jones]

yes hun

i find relaxation so very hard to achieve

i dont think im really relaxed ever when awake

as to the sleep, im on citalopram and when they upped the dose to 30mg i started sleeping like a baby, very few night time pas. some very weird dreams tho lol

i do hope u get it sorted cos i was at my wits end with 2 hrs sleep a night

love

milly xxxx

ps any relaxation tips anyone please?

[red27]

Hi milly

Thanks for your reply! It is a particularly frustrating thing to deal with, but I feel I'm getting better slowly - to begin with I was getting only a couple of hours a night, even taking sleeping pills! Now I'm usually getting a decent night's sleep with the pills - my main problem now seems to be this continual self-doubt - can I sleep without them? Will they work tonight? - It's exhausting!

I do find myself having calm moments during the day though, and I do hope you'll find ways to find calm too

This may be of interest - just yesterday I read something about the "Relaxation response"

http://relaxationresponse.org/steps/

The idea being that you focus for 10-20 minutes on one single word, or activity, and constantly try and bring your thoughts back to it when your mind wanders (when you start thinking about other anxious things, or sleeping, or anything else). To begin with it's very tricky to maintain the repetition (I've tried a few times already, but my mind constantly drifts back to my anxieties :) ) but with practice, I think it would help to allow you to control what you think about, and to focus yourself on a specific thought - which seems to be my main problem. I've tried general meditation before, but just sitting there trying to think of nothing seems to draw up more anxieties! Focusing on just one single thought may be the key

[kellie]

Hiya red welcome to nmp its lovely to have your here. you will get lots of support/advice and reasurance and make some great friends along the way. You have probly heard this hundreds of times, but, the best way to relax is to exercise and get any pent up energy out of your systom. have a cut off time from the pc/tv and take a relaxing bath( with lavender oil) then go to bed and read. watch what your are drinking as well, id recommend no tea or coffee after 6pm, stick to water or squash from then caffine is no good if you are having trouble sleeping. its hard to sleep when you have an over simulated mind so you need to wind it down.

take care

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[red27]

Thanks for the advice kellie :)

It's true, I have heard it many times already. But I think when I'm in one of my anxious moods, it's just what I need to be told! When I get that wound up it's almost impossible for me to realise that all I need to do is try and relax (hard though that may be!) - My anxious mind seems unable to make the connection between "Being stressed and wound up" with "Feeling anxious and not sleeping". It's a simple equation, but one which I frequently ignore

I'm currently doing all the caffeine reduction and hot baths stuff, which seems to be helping. I get the occasional evening where I just feel so stressed though, last night I was only sitting in the bath for about 5 minutes before I thought "I'm far too stressed to relax" and got back out! My mind is nuts :roflmao:

[Bill]

I'm going through a pretty bleak patch (or so it feels), mainly brought on by some recent difficulties with sleep in the last few weeks, due to a move of house.

Moving house is a very stressful business so I suspect that this stress has triggered your anxious feelings making you focus on a worry which in your case is worry over sleeping.

Often what happens when we feel under alot of stress is we behave like a parrot in a cage. We start pulling our feathers out! In human terms that means pulling ourselves apart with worries.

A parrot feels trapped in a cage in the same way we feel trapped by stress because we feel we can't break free from it and relax.

However, I feel in time as your mind adjusts to your new surroundings and the stress eases, you'll begin to focus less on your sleeping worries.

Moving house can be like a trauma and traumas can take varying times to come to terms with but given time, I'm sure you'll get back to normal.

I feel your mind is probably reacting subconsciously to the move even if it was a while back. Try not to "fight" to relax. Let it come to you. If we try and force ourselves to sleep, we tense ourselves up so can't sleep. Don't put extra pressure on yourself. Try playing relaxing music, reading a book etc and try Not to "think" about sleeping and you'll soon find morning has arrived.

[red27]

Often what happens when we feel under alot of stress is we behave like a parrot in a cage. We start pulling our feathers out! In human terms that means pulling ourselves apart with worries.

A parrot feels trapped in a cage in the same way we feel trapped by stress because we feel we can't break free from it and relax.

Thanks Bill, I hadn't really thought of it like that! I have been feeling generally, recently, that my mind has been producing a lot more anxiety, I was attributing that to many other things though - you know, "There's something wrong with me", "I've developed a serious mental disease" - the usual anxiety things :)

I do feel comfortable in my new place, but I guess my subconcious is a different matter altogether. All I need is a bit of time I suppose!

I've been practicing the "relaxation response" I mentioned above, and I'm feeling it has some real theraputic benefits - especially if I keep up with it every day for a good 20-30 minutes

[smudgie]

Hi Red

Im so sorry your going through such a difficult time at the moment, my thoughts are with you.

Ive read your post and all the post you have received from caring people here, what can I add?

Well I cant put myself in your shoes nor can I say I know how it feels because we are all different but I can share with you somethings.

I have had quite a life and suffer with dreaded anxiety and panic which effects my life, day and night.

you said in the title " trying to quiet the noise", in your head I bet, like a washing machine on full spin and wont stop?
All that noise and chatter from your negative side telling you so much thats not right?
Over and over again it goes and it wont stop?

I thought I was going mad.

trying to use relaxation techniques is very hard when this is going on inside, I tried and tried but in the end I started to get it.

As for the sleep, well that never happened, I suffered insomnia and couldnt sleep at all. Restless sleep what a nightmare.

Eventually I was given meds to stop the mind stuff and to give me a break which the side effect was induced sleep, what a difference my life is now.

The washing machine has slowed down and I can pick the pieces out one by one and start to sort it out. the sleep is better because my mind is not so restless.

I hope I have been some help, if you want to pm me please do

take care of you
smudgie:hugs:

[red27]

Thanks smudgie, that's a great help!


the sleep is better because my mind is not so restless.

That's exactly my problem :) I'm going to practice the relaxation techniques more - I know deep down that the only problem is that I'm worrying too much about things, once I get my mind quietened down, things'll improve!