new here.....need advice

[hranee]

I have been had anxiety all my life and have overcome it 3 years ago with the help of medication. However, I am dealing with it again. I am scared and frustrated with myself and my thoughts, I just want to be normal again.
My thoughts are:
will i ever feel normal?
what is normal?
Do I even like myself?
Maybe im too weak?

I am tired of all this inward thinking.....does anyone else deal with this? And my anxiety seems to be worse in the morning?

[Anna C]

Hi Hranee,

Welcome to NMP. The more you read on here the more you will realise that its not just you. I felt isolated and alone until I found this site.

I answered yes to everyone of your questions, I have thoughts like that every day. I'm still working on turning negatives into positives!

Well done for overcoming your anxiety first time round! I hope it gives you the strength to know that you can beat it again. Keep posting on here you will get help and advise from people who can relate to what you're going through.

:hugs: Anna.

[red27]

I'd have to say

will i ever feel normal?
Yup, most definitely. The fact you managed to beat it before means you will beat it again. Have absolutely no doubt about that.
what is normal?
Normal is whatever you want it to be
Do I even like myself?
Yes you do, you probably just think that you don't
Maybe im too weak?
Everyone has the strength inside themselves to make positive change

The way I usually look at it is, I feel normal all the time - I just manage to convince myself that I'm not "normal" sometimes :) The natural state of your mind is "normal", it's just letting yourself relax into that state that's the difficult part

An analogy I like to use is to think of a outdoor swimming pool, and consider what is "normal" to be the pattern on the bottom of the pool - the pattern of squares and mosaics that is "you", and your normal, happy life. When you're feeling anxious, think of that like a storm causing waves and ripples on the surface of the pool - this means it's harder to see the bottom of the pool - but it's still there. The only thing that's affected is the surface of the pool, nothing below it.

The important thing to think about is that returning to your "normal" state doesn't involve fighting - you don't need to struggle and push and pull to try and get waves on a pool to calm down, you just need to wait for the storm to pass. Or, if you feel you have the power within yourself to make changes - through meditation, healthy living, lifestyle changes or whatever - blow it away yourself!

[marie1974]

hiya and welcome you will get some great advice and support on here and make some great friends too, everyone here is lovely and this site has helped me loads and it will u too xxxxx

[hranee]

wow I absolutly love that analogy it makes perfect sense! Its so helpful to see that im not alone :)

[hranee]

I also am worried about the fact that I have bad feelings about myself....like the image of myself is distorted and I don't feel content or happy being me. Has anyone else experienced this or understand....its very frusterating because I start to think its more than anxiety or something. I can't seem to stop my mind from thinking about myself! :unsure: is this common with anxiety?

[marie1974]

hiya yes this is common i think u would really benefit from cbt as it really does change your way of thinking and gives u more confidence, it has with me. i have it private and costs 40 pound but i not sure waiting time on nhs. allso moodgym.co.uk is a great cbt site its free and worth looking at as its free and gives u same sorts of things to think about as in cbt

[hranee]

I don't think I know what CBT is?

[marie1974]

cognitive behaviour therapy look a the menu on left hand side of this site it tells u about cbt i think also look it up on internet, but its a common counsellling technique that they teach now and docs can refer u or u can find a provate counsellor in your area. mayb have a read up on it but it really does change how u feel about yourself and they give u homework too

[marie1974]

under therapy on the menu left hand side i think

[red27]

I can't seem to stop my mind from thinking about myself! :unsure: is this common with anxiety?I think that pretty much is anxiety in a nutshell :)

My main problem is I can't stop my mind going nuts with anxious thoughts, which in turn make me feel trapped and alone - when in fact I'm nothing of the sort. That's the "distorted image" you mentioned

Going back to the pool analogy, that's exactly what's happening there. You can't see the bottom of the pool. You just need faith that it's still there

[hranee]

So I think i may have figured out what some of my problem is.......I am mentally hideing from my feelings in fear of my thoughts, trying to avoid them and somehow this is continuing the cycle! Does this make sense? I realize that i am in fear most of the day....of myself! how rediculous is that! All i really have to do is step up and face myself! And its easy for me to think this way right now however in a couple hours i probably will start doubting myself again and trying to hide. Wow......