View Full Version : Does this site fuel anxiety?
Hi
I went to see my therapist last week and mentioned that I view this site. He advised against it as believes it fuels anxiety and they people become almost addicted.
Does anyone find this the case?
I also find reading the posts that people tend to try and please the mod's on here.
Is it healthy to log on to a site such as this daily?
Im sure the site was set up with good intention but do wonder how many people it has hindered in recovery (I apprecaite it has also helped many)
We all have the choice but some times I see his point it can become a habit
I would say in general, this forum does more good than harm, but if you agree with your therapist then take his advice if that is how you feel, simple ;).
Not sure either what the mod comment is supposed to mean.
I am a firm believer in taking responsibility for your own actions, and not blame others.
hi well i guess everyone has there own opinion and for me this site has been great. i havent found myself addicted or worse since being on here, infact i am loads better and i been on here for nearly 4 months. i think when u have problems issues etc and have little support these places are great and i also feel we have to help ourselves alot if we want to recover and this place gives that little extra boost to people for them to help themselves. i know everyone feels different. but for me and quite a few others i know, i think there are not enough of these sites. i know the people who run this site have there own issues and problems but still keep this going because its important to them and they do it for nothing. people do come on sometimes with upsetting stories etc but the job of this forum is to promote positive feedback from people to help these people to help themselves and get the help they need. hugs xxxxxx
Hi Lostgirl,
It's our choice whether or not to take advice that has been given to us. Doc's do a good job, but I do believe that they're not always right, everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect. I'm not saying that your doc is wrong for saying what he has said, infact in some aspects I believe he is right, but I feel that everybody should already be aware of this trap. Especially regarding Health Anxiety.
Many people like myself I believe don't have people around to talk to about their illness that understand, and find it a relief that there are others out there suffering from similar situations and things. People don't feel so alone, and I think this is where Sites like these come in. They offer support and understanding.
I think that sometimes it's also hard for some people to talk about how they really feel to somebody they know and that they find it easier to open up about their feelings/experiences with other's over the net.
I'm unsure what you mean about people trying to please Mod's here. I believe i've always been myself and that is to be honest and fair in my opinion's. I respect others for how I would like to be shown respect and care myself.
:flowers:
Hi There Lostgirl
I have found this site a huge help, especially as I used to think I was the only person suffering with the symptoms I have and its a relief to find others with same kind of things. I suppose you have to understand this site is not here to cure you its here to offer support and advice from people with similar experiences and thats something that the doctors do not have. You have to take from it what you can but if you are finding its making your anxiety worse then its not for you. I find that I only log on when im feeling particularly bad and when I need to know there are others out there, but everyone is different. I haven't come across anyone trying to please the mods. I hope you do find this site helpful.
Hiya
This site has been a godsend for me since i joined in jan. I now feel that im not alone with the problems that i have, and ive had so much help from the friends that ive made in chat, i def havent become addicted to this site and can only sing its praises
Best Of Luck
POLLY XX
hi,
for a lot of members on this site, especially those who suffer from agrophobia, as in my case, this site is a lifeline.
to know that others suffer the same way, to share and help to get back into real living in the outside world is invaulable to some, me especially....
plus i have made true friendships on this site
so personally this site has been a godsend for me, i told my doctor about this site, he now recommends it to other sufferers in his practise.
dawny xxxxx
hiya
i think jaco said it all :huh:
you dont have to come on this site if you feel it dose you no good every one find,s help is different ways
so i hope you find the right help for you
i am not sure what you mean by the mod comment mods are there to help out in chat and that is what we do
jodiexx
The only way you can say you have truly conquered an emotional problem, is to be able to visit a site like this without it effecting you in anyway. If visiting a site like this triggers anxiety or depression, then you have not successfully overcome it and it will return at some time in the future anyway. Also, most people that recover tend not to re-visit the site once they a are back on their feet.
I'd definitely say sites like this are very beneficial. You might get someone experiencing an emotional problem for the first time, and believe they are going mad. Then they visit a site like this one and are relieved to know that they are not the only person feeling that way, which brings tremendous relief.
You do have to have a lot of compassion for other people to set up a site like this, which is not commercially based.
Tom
Hi lost girl,I asked myself the same questions after sighning up the other day.i was scared because i was faced with the realitys of my illness after reading the (you know when youu have panic disorder when )thread! but after many hours of delibaration i can honestly say i think this site could just be my saviour!!I am married and have family around me so im not physicaly not alone but i find it so hard to express myself to them and they find it so hard to understand me.This site is full of people who know exactaly how im feeling and threw their own experiance can offer advice and support.i have been threw therepy for years and although i have a lovely doctor relationship i feel they can only offer text book help as they havnt been there so cant fully relate or truley understand!!obviously the decision has to lay with you and im sure you will choose the best path for yourself! everybody is differant but its good to know your not on your own!!
My anxiety would be there anyway and I don't think viewing NMP fuels it, although sometimes reading about everyone's problems does make me a bit depressed!
On balance I wouldn't be without NMP because when I've been feeling really down there've been people to "talk" to. On the other hand, I've got into the habit of viewing it out of boredom, which may not be particularly healthy :\
Hi
I was so pleased when i found this site. I was so glad i found people who understood what i was going through.
I have had so much help on this site, and there are a great bunch of people on here.
I dont understand what u mean about the mods comment though
mandie x
Marginalia
22-06-08, 12:25
I can only echo what everyone else said.
If you feel worse after reading the site, or find it gives you 'ideas' for new things to worry about, then stay away.
However for me it has (so far at least) had nothing but a positive effect.
I haven't been in the chatroom or anything, because I have a tendency to get emotionally wrapped up in other people's distress so I'm keeping a certain distance.
Also, I tend to only come here if I'm feeling lonely or anxious: I don't regard it as a place I have to log in daily whatever my mood (I belong to other online communities where I do that :P).
This place gives me a lot of support, knowing there are people here who understand and have similar worries, knowing it's here 24 hours a day if I'm getting myself into a vicious circle of panic by myself, responding to other people on here also helps me be more objective about my own worries and gives me a feeling that at least I could be useful to others sometimes.
But whatever works for you.
(I'd certainly recommend it to other people - it's been a godsend - or whatever the atheist equivalent is ;) )
This site could be viewed as one whereby when you are feeling at your most low and scared, the people on here have a much better understanding of what you are going through than anyone else.
I don't come to the site everyday but some do. This is not an addiction i feel as the people who do come on every day just have built up such a rapport with others on the site/chatroom that they enjoy chatting to them, even if it is behind a screen on their computers
The people on here have helped me when i have been terrified about a future panicky event and so i will never knock this site.
Panic sufferers need reassurance and we get that from others on here. I have never once read someone say i have this symptom and that symptom and then have someone else make the person more fearful than they initially were. We as a community try and eradicate ones insecurity and irrational thinking, as opposed to bolster it.
The people who say this site may be making you worse are those usually who dont suffer with this affliction. They see it as black and white as.............
IT'S A WEBSITE. PEOPLE WITH PANIC SHOULD AVOID WEBSITES BECAUSE THEY START TO IMAGINE ALL MANNER OF SYMPTOMS. THIS SITE MAY BE MAKING YOU WORSE!!
they dont really consider the people on here to help one another.
People will have their views and opinions but in mine, this site is a great resource for those PA sufferers
God Bless
Dave
eeyorelover
22-06-08, 12:56
Well anything can fuel anxiety ...
if you let it.
Saying that we all know that it's not that simple but what I mean is that it's not the situation that fuels anxiety, it's our perception of it and the way we react to it that adds fuel to the fire.
Thank you for replies
I aksed the question as I am an addictive person and do things in routine with my anxiety - i.e logging in and checking things very often throughout the day. I have viewed the online users and notice that others are often on throughout the day.
I have received pm's from people who dont want to post but have felt that this can become a large part of life and that are often worried to post openly incase of been shunned by more senior memebers
I just raise the question if as anxiety sufferes our reliance on the internet is always positive and if we should try and focus more on "real" things in life - believe me I am not cured and do not have the answers just interested in other peoples views and feel some of the strong defence questions if people "need" this site and if that need is healthy
I am truly happy for the people who find comfort here and wish everyone a way forward from this awful illness :flowers:
Marginalia
22-06-08, 13:28
I just raise the question if as anxiety sufferes our reliance on the internet is always positive and if we should try and focus more on "real" things in life - believe me I am not cured and do not have the answers just interested in other peoples views and feel some of the strong defence questions if people "need" this site and if that need is healthy
Well, hmm. I do believe one can get addicted to the internet for support, and that the way to tell if that is a problem is to think what it is preventing you from doing.
If before you came to this site you spent that time doing things of equal or worse effect on your own wellbeing, then being on this site is no problem (so if you used to spend that time alone in panic, or playing spider solitaire for hours, then spending time on this site is equal or better).
On the other hand, if you feel so safe on this site that it's taking you further and further from dealing with your real life issues, making friends, getting a job or whatever, then yeah, it is a problem.
Though I do think if it is a problem, it is due to existing issues you have which probably need to be sorted out through counselling. (Some people might find this site a positive help in addressing them, but I imagine most people need the one-to-one support of a professional to overcome things like social phobia).
I'd say I have been using the internet (not this site) to obtain some of the things which were missing in my life, and it's only recently I've realised the internet can never fill the gap, and the only way to do so is to find friends in real life. However the gap in my life existed before I found the internet, and the internet made me less isolated. Having come to realise through the web how much I enjoy being around people, awoke the longings in me to be with real-world people. When I find enough real world people (which I am working on), then I imagine my need for the internet will reduce.
But yeah, one can get 'lazy' and think it is so easy finding people here, and so hard in real-life. But, for me at least, the internet cannot fulfil all my needs, so I have to force myself to do that work.
Hi lostgirl. You have to do what feels right for you.
As pointed out earlier, you can take as little or as much away from the site as you find helpful or need. Some need reassurance, some need advice, others need to know they are not alone, as well as those who have successfully overcome problems to spur us on.
When I first came here it was an important milestone for me. Not only did I realise I wasn't abnormal and alone, someone also put a name to my main symptom. In turn once I knew what it was and why I had it, it went away in a few weeks. All down to this site.
Over time I became less reliant, and recently took a good 4 months off. That was time to allow myself to get to grips with my problems and not have to worry about others. While thise might sound a little selfish, I needed some "me" time and had to concentrate on that.
Currently I'm in a far better place and better equipped to help others here. I only post replies to threads I feel I can give a real contribution to. On the subject of mods, I never post what I *think* they want to hear, but I do adhere to the rules. I do think its important that I qualify information about meds for example, with the caveat that I am not medically trained when appropriate. Its very easy to read something and take it as fact. I'd rather inform people and let them decide for themselves.
To be totally honest, I don't actually read a lot of the threads. You have the same choice. You can see the title, and if its something you don't want to read then you don't have to.
Without this site I wouldn't have started on the road to recovery. Also, I knew when it was time to take a break and returned when I wished. Just add the site to the tools you use for your condition. I can only echo a sentiment posted earlier, on balance it certainly provides a lot more help than not.
Krakers.
i really think this site and sites like it are a good thing it gives you that place to go to know other are there for you and have the same feelings also most people try and get on as much as they can so it gives you routine and a sence of bein.
From what i have seen and done and i have worked on sites like this one and my own that i have take to srinks and doctors alive and all of them have
side that its a good idea more support is needed like these sites as its giving
help where srinks and doctors alive are just unable to as alost of them don't know what we really feel.
But some people might not be able to grasp that so in some rare case this site just might not be for them but thats the net for your its here to serv you
and not every site is able to do that to 100%
Hugs 2 all.
Marginalia
22-06-08, 13:55
What Krakers said got me thinking.
I think all of us currently suffering from anxiety feel 'out of control'. Any situation we don't feel in control of makes us worse.
The people here who seem to get most out of the site (gross generlisation from a few posts here - may be incorrect) seem to regard it as a resource they can choose when to dip into. They are in control.
You (lostgirl) are worried it is an addiction for you - perhaps you feel not in control, therefore it's anxiety-provoking for you. Those people you mention who are too anxious to post because they fear rejection or the wrath of the mods (or whatever) also feel not in control - they feel at the mercy of external events. However they are taking control by deciding not to post (just as people with agoraphobia take control by deciding not to go out - even though that decision is governed mainly by their anxiety). But still, the site seems to be anxiety-provoking because they feel they can't use it how they would like.
So it's a matter of weighing up risks and deciding what's best for you at this moment in time.
Another way to evaluate whether being on this site is bad for you or not, is whether you regret (or think you may regret) the time you have spent here. If you feel guilty for 'wasting' time on this site, think whether that's just other people trying to impose on you what they think you 'ought' to be doing, or whether you really would be happier in yourself doing other things.
What actually makes you happy, and what do you want to have achieved by (say) this time next year? For people with severe anxiety, thinking a year ahead might be too much to contemplate. But in any case, will it be enough (or indeed a wonderful achievement) if you have managed to be contented or occupied for that time (in which case being here, if it has that effect, is a perfectly valid way to achieve that). But if in order to feel happy you'd like to do other things, like change, get a sense of achievement, get out more, find a partner, or whatever, then spending too much time on this site isn't going to give you much of what you need, and you'd be better off spending that time on other things.
That's my view anyway.
Marginalia
purplehaze
22-06-08, 14:23
Hi
I tend to read posts that I can relate to or offer some support to and dont read posts just for the sake of reading them...I dont think anyone posts just to please the mods or the NMP team because thats not what its about. You do have a valid point in that some folk can become anxious after reading certain posts but again that comes down to choice in what we read. I dont watch programmes on tv about hospitals coz it makes me sick, so again its free choice.
Take time and just read what you need to help you
take care
kev
Hi
I tend to read posts that I can relate to or offer some support to and dont read posts just for the sake of reading them...I dont think anyone posts just to please the mods or the NMP team because thats not what its about. You do have a valid point in that some folk can become anxious after reading certain posts but again that comes down to choice in what we read. I dont watch programmes on tv about hospitals coz it makes me sick, so again its free choice.
Take time and just read what you need to help you
take care
kev
I agree if some topics make you worse try and leave them out but if its
something you want to know also maybe try and leave them to the last or
middle of your visit to the site so you have a healthy balance to what you are
reading.
:bighug1:
Rex
My problem I guess is that I am at such a low point with my anxiety that I dont have control or at times am rational enough to be selective. I get "carried away" with it all then convince myself I have the aliment I have read about then google it then the anxiety builds on it and off we go again.
I was a drug user and have totally given up now (and from my inital post received very kinds words from here so thank you). I believe I was only able to give up because I removed myself from the situations where I would use drugs and I now question if anxiety works in the same way. Does reading and often for myself and others been here for hours a day keep the anxiety alive? Would an inital strenght to remove or limit our usage be the kick start we need to beat the anxiety habit? Well done to those of you that are in control of how often you spend on forums but I still believe many off us (including me) "need" this too much?
As I have said, I dont have the answers, If only! just wonder if we are really helping ourselves? xx
"As I have said, I dont have the answers, If only! just wonder if we are really helping ourselves? xx"
Just looking for the help in the first place is helping are selfs :) be we are not all the some and some might not fine this helpfull really you need yo ask yourself is it helping you as many of use here would agree just having this kind of support to come to helps alot in alot of are day to day lifes.
Liverbird67
22-06-08, 14:58
When I first became ill in February I stumbled across this site by accident, the advice and replies I have had from other people has been invaluable, people whom post on here have been through so much and lived to tell the tale so to speak, everybody is so positive and even when someone is having a particularly bad time, other users rally round, I for one don't worry about the moderaters think in regards of what I am posting, (obviously you have to be careful not to cause offence or upset to others) I have quite a way to go in terms of recovery I tend to log on for a few mins each day, even if I am having a good day just to see how eveyone is getting on, I feel I can be totally honest with out anyone judging me or thinking I am totally mad
Its an excellent support system with no side effects! except that you just make some friends.
Take care
Debbie
x
Marginalia
22-06-08, 15:13
My problem I guess is that I am at such a low point with my anxiety that I dont have control or at times am rational enough to be selective. I get "carried away" with it all then convince myself I have the aliment I have read about then google it then the anxiety builds on it and off we go again.
I was a drug user and have totally given up now (and from my inital post received very kinds words from here so thank you). I believe I was only able to give up because I removed myself from the situations where I would use drugs and I now question if anxiety works in the same way. Does reading and often for myself and others been here for hours a day keep the anxiety alive? Would an inital strenght to remove or limit our usage be the kick start we need to beat the anxiety habit? Well done to those of you that are in control of how often you spend on forums but I still believe many off us (including me) "need" this too much?
As I have said, I dont have the answers, If only! just wonder if we are really helping ourselves? xx
I think every individual is different. It doesn't sound like it's helping you to hear lots of people say they find the site a positive thing, because they aren't you. And it sounds like you're more ambivalent about it.
I think there are two approaches to anxiety, and different situations call for a different choice:
(1) you can remove yourself from the source of anxiety
(2) you can take control of the situation (i.e. have ways of coping with/reducing the anxiety - through CBT or something)
Neither is easy. The first one can mean giving up things you crave or which have very strong positive parts despite the overall negative effect. Very much kudos for you for kicking drugs, by the way. Sometimes it can feel like an admission of defeat which is a blow to confidence (e.g. people who gave up their marriage or jobs). The second one takes constant active work and is really hard, particularly at the start, and may need support from a counsellor. Also, sometimes, the situation is just more than any human being can cope with, or for someone of your particular disposition. Tolerance isn't always a virtue and there are times it's right to stop trying/fighting/returning to the situation, cut your losses and move on to things which are going to be more beneficial to you.
I'd say if reading threads here are making more things for you to be anxious about, you might be better off staying away. I had to do that with television and newspapers and I don't regret it at all, even though it saddens me that I can't share those experiences with people. And I know I mustn't google for medical symptoms - fortunately I've finally learnt this lesson and I can restrain myself. If I couldn't, I think I'd have to give up the internet (I did have to delete some games from my computer because that was the only way to break my addiction).
Marginalia
milly jones
22-06-08, 17:35
hi
im a daily visitor to nmp
i spends a lot of my time on nmp as at the moment i am quite ill with social anxiety.
i find leaving the house difficult without somebody with me.
therefore i struggle to have any kind of social contact with ppl.
i spend time in the forum, reading and answering posts, i spend time in chat.
nmp is a big part of my life at the moment.
and thank god for it!!
i would be a very lonely, very withdrawn, very depressed person.
perhaps i do rely on nmp, perhaps reading ppls difficulties does make me cry, but if i can just help one person to feel a little better about themselves that day it is worth while. nmp has raised my self esteem no end.
when i visit chat i have for the first time in my life some friends. friends who i can talk to each night in chat or msn. in fact i did something twice this weekend thanks to a special friend in chat. i spoke to them on the phone. not much i know but such a step for me.
as to the mods, i have nothing but admiration and respect for them. this service costs nothing to us. the mods do their 'job' without money. nic runs the site for free. i get very cross when ppl criticise the site.
if the site does not make u feel better, or makes u more anxious, then there is no pressure to visit it.
i myself thank god for the day i discovered nmp, its forum, site, chat and most of all the lovely ppl who rely on it and who i now consider to be my friends
thankyou
milly xx
[quote=milly jones;352340]hi
as to the mods, i have nothing but admiration and respect for them. this service costs nothing to us. the mods do their 'job' without money. nic runs the site for free. i get very cross when ppl criticise the site.
My intention is not to critisise the site purely to question our level of dependency and indeed if that dependency is at the correct levels or if constantly been within an anxiety community adds fuel to our problems? I dont know the answer and am keen on other peoples view and also because we are low with anxiety if we sometimes aim to please on here because of anxiety assoicated lack of confidence?
I am very pleased for you to be making steps and that this site has give you a life line and hope it continues for you :hugs:
Take care x
TheOriginal_BIRD
22-06-08, 19:10
oo i sort of agree..sort of dont..
i try not to read things that might 'put ideas in my head'
i did that once..and it took a while to get over it,
i try to scan through posts before i read them to see if any content is going to 'trigger' me, so to speak
generally though, i like the site, its nice to know youre not alone!
xxx
I do aggree to a cretain extent that this site fules anxiety. i think you can read someone elses symptoms and think ive got that too. however ive found this site and people on it extremely comforting in times of really bad anxiety and its even stopped me from phoning an ambualnce at one point.
i dont think its bad to come on here daily. i usually come on here and face beek on a dail basis. Its nice to talk to people who understand what you are going through.
:bighug1:
looks like we all say its a good thing but is can also sometime be a little too much to handle sometimes guess its up to you where you put the limit really:)
:noangel:
Hi Lostgirl,
I think your therapist may be right but this site may be what you need at this point in time.Since joining last week I've realised that reading about other peoples difficulties isn't necessarily what I need to aid my recovery,but that's just me.Other people obviously find logging on therapeutic and that's great.What I would say is guard against trying to be all things to all people.If this site doesn't work for you then accept it and move on.No-one will think you're a failure or a bad person for it.
Personally the one thing the site has done for me is make me realise what I already knew.My recovery is down to me and whilst its great to have access to empathy via NMP, at the end of the day you've got do do what's right for you.Take what you need from the advice and support you're offered and then make up your own mind.
I wish you well and hope you find yourself soon:yesyes:
Hi Lostgirl,
I think your therapist may be right but this site may be what you need at this point in time.Since joining last week I've realised that reading about other peoples difficulties isn't necessarily what I need to aid my recovery,but that's just me.Other people obviously find logging on therapeutic and that's great.What I would say is guard against trying to be all things to all people.If this site doesn't work for you then accept it and move on.No-one will think you're a failure or a bad person for it.
Personally the one thing the site has done for me is make me realise what I already knew.My recovery is down to me and whilst its great to have access to empathy via NMP, at the end of the day you've got do do what's right for you.Take what you need from the advice and support you're offered and then make up your own mind.
I wish you well and hope you find yourself soon:yesyes:
Very nicely put :welcome: also :)
nomorepanic
22-06-08, 22:59
I also find reading the posts that people tend to try and please the mod's on here.
I would like you to clarify this post please as the mods/admins will remove posts that break rules but I do not think people are trying to please us:shrug:
Speaking for myself, if I can explain where I was when I found this site.
I was terrified about the symptoms I had, unable to accept what the doctors told me. I was googling every known condition til I made myself sick with worry.
Then by chance I typed in palpitations, and thank god this site came up! Its aided me such alot. I log in every day. I play the games. I know I can come on here when my family/friends may think I am nuts:blush: and I can get rational responses. I have met friends on here that I want to share my news with, be it bad, or good.
Echoing what everyone says, if it works for you great, if it doesn't, then move on.
With the mods thing, I don't think what you said is right, there is a great deal of respect for the mods/admin who give up their spare time to provide this site for us. I don't see any evidence of trying to please. We are all mature enough here.
xx
eeyorelover
23-06-08, 00:33
I was a drug user and have totally given up now (and from my inital post received very kinds words from here so thank you). I believe I was only able to give up because I removed myself from the situations where I would use drugs and I now question if anxiety works in the same way. Does reading and often for myself and others been here for hours a day keep the anxiety alive? Would an inital strenght to remove or limit our usage be the kick start we need to beat the anxiety habit?
Someone with an addictive personality can overcome one addiction and adopt another in it's place.
Like instead of smoking someone may overeat.
Maybe it's the fear of becoming addicted that makes you ask these questions.
I think that it's all based on individuality.
If you are at a point where you are searching for answers you may spend loads of time researching on the help pages.
If you are housebound you may spend time in chat socializing because you are lonely.
When I first joined I treated it like a research project!
I had a tablet and read everything I could about anxiety.
Not just on this site but others too... but mainly this site :)
I do still spend a good deal of time on the site answering posts and doing admin stuff but I don't spend as much time as I once did because I am more comfortable with where I am in my journey with anxiety.
Here's the thing that I think I've gotten most from pouring over posts for awhile that I didn't get going to counselors and the like...
You can sit in a chair and have some person who doesn't really know you and has never dealt with what you are going through tell you that there is nothing to fear and you can't die from a panic attack blah blah blah - alot of us have heard the speech!
OR
You can come to a site like this one and read about people who have had the same feelings and fought the same demons AND WON..
and it's like a light goes off ...
You think "hey that's exactly how I feel".
Then it's so comforting to know that others have been where you are and come thru it!!
They are still alive!!!
They haven't lost their marbles - well some have more marbles left than others - PMSL just kidding guys :)
I think that in the long run if you say to yourself.. " maybe I'm on here too much" then you should take a step back.
But really educating one's self and having a place that you feel supported and understood is never a bad thing ...
is it???
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