EEEEKKKK

[SHYGIRLAJB]

Hi Everyone

I am not really looking foward to next month, in 3 or so weeks time, I am having to go out with partner and his work mates twice in a row.

My partner is like moving jobs, in the same department, and he is going out with his new work colleagues , but he doesn't want to go out on his own and says that I have to go with him:ohmy::ohmy:. I said don't bother going, but he say that he has to really go so they can sort of bond. Trouble is they were on about going out for a meal and having a right booze up and going to a club or something(well I deffintely not going to that). The next night it is a suprise birthday party of one of his work mates.

Yes I am really anxious, and panicky really, the only person who I know will be my partner, :eek::eek:, plus I am ashamed if anyone asks oh what do you do (well I am not working at the moment, due to my depression).

I just feel sort of awful, worrying about the whole thing. Has anyone else been in this situation?, and what did you do?.

I have to go as, partners say if I don't go then he will not go, as he will not go on his own(like billy no mates, as he puts it).

Sorry about that, sound like another rant.

SHYGIRLAJB

[Pink Panic]

Hi Shy

I know how you are feeling as i was in the place you were just a few weeks ago.

My partner works for BP and we were asked to attend their Annual Ball which was quite a way from where we live and involved an overnight stay!! :ohmy: AND the only person that i knew that was going out of 300 odd people was my partner!!
My partner said it didn't really matter if we didn't go but after letting him down last year i felt that the time was right to try and push myself that little bit further and see how it went plus he bought me an expensive designer outfit that i really wanted to show off!! :blush:
Leading up to the actual event the anticipatory anx was awful and i thought about calling it off many times. A couple of days beforehand i saw my Psych who said that i should break the event up into small chunks that made it appear more achievable such as getting through the cocktails before the meal, then the meal and then if i felt up to it staying for the dancing but not to feel that i was a failure if i didn't manage to attend the whole event but it would be a success that i had even tried!!
On the actual day i was also told that i would prob wake up anx ridden but to try and work through it which i did. I remember having the beautician come to the house to paint my nails and toes and i could hardly sit still but she just thought i was excited!! :blush:
In the end i actually totally enjoyed the evening and had a fab time. Everyone was just so friendly and i ended up dancing till 12 some of the time with complete strangers! I paced myself drinking wine and then a glass of water and i had a few breaks when i went outside with my partner to get fresh air as the place was soooo hot! The Dance lasted till 1 but i know it was a massive achievement for me to last till 12 and the 5 hours just flew by honestly. The one thing i took from this experience was that even though i was terrified at the prospect of it when i was there i actually forgot all about my anx and was just "me" again!!:D
The worst thing actually is that after spending so much time worrying about it i never really looked forward to it and it was just over so quickly .... hope that makes sense!

What i would say to you is that YOU will know if you can do it and to go with that feeling. Last year i just knew in myself i couldn't face it. Also i was told that sometimes we have to give ourselves that little bit of a push and dip our toe in the water so to speak. I'd break the night up into firstly getting though the meal then if you feel able maybe going for a few drinks and then finally the nighclub. I know i had all my excuses made up incase i had to exit quickly and you could do the same.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do and i hope if you do decide to go that you have a great time. :hugs:

Love
Pink
xxx

[Rexzooly]

Huggles but i do find that fun even when i am out with people i tend to think
i am going mad that people don't like me and judgin me i now its stilly but its
just a think i guess i feel but i like letting my hair down and i can't anu more
so if you do go place have a little fun for me and the NMP people lol


xx huggles xx

[bottleblond]

Hiya Shy

I really do understand your concerns. If anyone asks what you do, just tell them you are in between jobs at the moment and you work in Admin or such like. You don't have to explain to folks hun.

Let people come to you and chat, there is nothing wrong with being shy, infact it can be a nice thing. Least your not common and brash like some gals i have came across on nigts out.

Try to relax and don't ask too much of yourself and remember, nights out are for relaxing and having fun, just go with the flow and i'm sure you will be fine!!

Lots of luck

Lisa
xxx

[Anna C]

Hi

I know how this feels you still have 3 weeks to go and you're already feeling petrified, scared and anxious about it.

I went to a party in january and it was a good night but I had worried for so long about it before hand. I agree with Pink that feeling like this you don't get a chance to look forward to nights out. I know the party that I went to my sisters were excited and looking forward to it for weeks while I was dreading it.

I agree that you don't have to tell anyone that you're not working at the moment.
I hope you try to go. Relax and have a great time, and think about the people on here who are cheering you on and are hoping that you enjoy yourself.
:hugs: Anna x

[lukgem]

know how you feel,i approach these situations with utter dread and try to avoid at any cost,but having said that once you get there and find your feet sometimes you really enjoy yourself and wonder what it was you were worried about in the first place and actually gain a lot of strength and it can really lift your mood as well as you realise you are a lot stronger than you thought,this viewpoint is worth considering.sorry your partner is putting extra pressure on you though,when this happens to me it makes me a little more anxious,your partner obviously thinks your brilliant though otherwise they wouldnt be inviting you to all these social functions!:flowers:

[SHYGIRLAJB]

Hi Everyone

Thanks for all of the replies.

Well I am going out one night now, as partner has decided that he would give one night a miss, as he has to work the next day.

EEk its not long now(Saturday night is the day), at least I have got my outfit what I am going to wear that is one problem over with. phew. Yes I try not to worry and think about it, but you just do. I will have to have a few drinks to calm down my nerves I think, I always seem to relax better after a few, lol.

I know I probably sound really silly, its has been a long time since I have been out to a pub, or to a party mixing with people who I don't know, normally we stay or go to partners brothers house.

Oh well, I am sure I will be ok, well hope so anyway, :ohmy::ohmy::ohmy:

Better go now , bye for now

SHYGIRLAJB

[milly jones]

good luck hunny

let us know how u get on

milly xxxx

[SHYGIRLAJB]

Hi Everyone

I have come on really because I am really stressing, now and I have got myself into a state. I wanted to take a certain, handbag, cant find it, wanted to style my hair with a heated brush thing, cant find it, arrrggghhhhhhhh.

I basically can't find the blasted things that I wanted, and I have less than 5 yours before we meet everyone. Sorry, !!!!!! I told partner I was going to have a few drinks at home beforehand so I can relax, but he said no, :mad:.

I have to be on my best behaviour, as his work colleages are going to be their and his bosses. So no, too many drinks for me then, lol.

SHYGIRLAJB

[SHYGIRLAJB]

Hi Everyone

Well I managed to go out last night, even though I felt really uncomfortable.

We met some of partner works colleages in a bar before hand, after a drink or so we went onto the party(well its on of partners colleages 40th birthday bash). Only trouble was my stupid boots were rubbing my feet.

We had to climb a huge hill, which wasn't too kind to my feet. I didn't really talk much as I felt really awkward, plus partners boss was talking to me about getting a job and what not, I felt bad as I am not working at the moment and just made me feel most uncomfortable. Plus she got the wrong end of the stick, she got me confused with problems job wise with someone else which didn't help. Well she apologies to partner, thinking that she had really upset me, well she did(she didnt mean it).

Oh well at least I went. The boots ripped my skin off the back of my heel and its agony, plus a blister where the skin didnt rip off.

I just I would say what had gone on.

Bye

SHYGIRLAJB

[johnno]

hey i just want to say even though u habnt got a job i have more respect and admiration for yr braveness than anyone else that went that night :) spot on hun :) just keep on facing upto situations like that,no matter how bad u feel,infact, the worse u feel the more u shud go :)and eventually ull realise that it aint rly that bad after all.

[milly jones]

but u went hunny

well done

hugs

milly xxxxx