Hi All (Swallowing / Choking Fear...)

[bcgreen2000]

Hi Everyone.

Wow! What an exellant website / forum. I have been battleing with anxiety for over a year now and although you're told that it's common and you're not alone it's hard to believe when you're in the 'thick of it'. Just reading some of the messages on this site has given me so much strength to fight this awful disorder. Especially as so many have had symptoms like mine and have made excellant progress, if not got over it completely.

My experiences started just over a year ago when I ran to a presentation at work, sat down and WHAM!! OUt of the blue I had a racing heart beat, couldn't breath, dizzy, hot etc. I managed to calm myself down but was obviously shaken (I've also been a bit of a hypercondriac(?) as well). This episode sparked off months of being over aware and senstive to the sensations I felt that day to the point I kept bringing them on, usually in situations where I felt nervous about it happening (Meeting, Hairdressers etc.)

After seeing the Doctor and getting blood tests I was told it was anxiety and learn to relax (useful). I perservered for months until I began to get it under some kind of control. I was no longer getting full blown attacks, just periods where I felt I had to control my breathing (Great, I thought). Then, oe day at work I was pretty tense, as was my throat, and I choked slightly on some apple... oh dear! New symptom approaching.

This was about 2 months ago. Since then I have developed a fear of swallowing / choking making meals really difficult / impossible at times. I am now seeing a Councellor who has basically gone through the fact it is caused by anxiety / fear / being tense. We've looked at relaxation, thought analysis, thought changing, positive thinking etc. It has kinda helped but I think I have now fully accepted there is no quick fix and nothing anyone else can really do - It's down to me. This has made things get worse.

I now have a fear of my swallowing reflex stopping! Just losing the ability to swallow. Logically I know it makes no sense, but then anxiety related fears don't seem to. I scared of the slightest sensation that feels wrong in my throat. Worried it's the start of it getting worse. Worried that if I do choke, just once, I'll latch onto that feeling and not be able to eat / swallow. I'm trying to not think about it but I even have problems swallowing saliva at times. I spend all day with the sensation that I need to swallow. That if I don't I'll choke. So I swallow. Over and over until my throat is so dry that I worry it will stick / close / or something. Also, this make my throat feel really 'tired' making meals even harder.

Generally breakfast is ok, lunch is difficult and dinner is the worst so I know it's because I've got more tired / run down. Especially as I hate my job and dread having to talk to people, go to meetings, give presentations in case I can't talk because I can't swallow some saliva or I'm gagging because I'm trying to swallow 'nothing'. I'm looking at changing my job but I'm worried I won't change soon enough and one day I'll have a really bad attack and just have to leave. Then everyone will know. I want to go on long-term sickness to try and sort this out without getting through work each day but I feel this is giving in and would probably make it worse. My heads a mess. I don't know where to go. I'm trying to be postive, strong, fight it, challenge it. All the things everyone keeps telling me will work but I'm so tired of feeling this way.

Please can someone let me know if any additional theapies, like hypnosis, CBT, Raki, Reflexology has helped them. I feel I need something extra from an external source to get through this, but I don't know what. Councelling has hit a bit of a dead end. My last session he basically said you know what you have to do - go do it! As easy as that eh? I'm seeing him again in 2 weeks but at the moment I can't see the point.

Sorry to go on a bit. On a lighter note. I'm Ben. I'm 25 and work as a Mechanical Engineer in Stevenage (although not fo

[lin]

hi ben

Welcome to the forum its great here i have had loads of help, i know wot u r going through i have just got over 2mths of this nasty anxiety. My symptoms were the same as yours but i am constanly swallowing which is part of it,it is slowly getting better. Anxiety seems to get hold of u it takes over your mind and controls your body which can make it hard to shift.

Since i have been here the advice and help i have had has been very positive for me, knowing i am not the only one with this BIG!!! problem my husband has also been loads of help he understands wot i went through with mine it is good to have some1 there for support without my husbands help i don't think i wud have coped with it. Anyway i hope u will soon feel better

take care

lin x

[Meg]

Hi ,

It is so common but hard to shift once you're in the cycle

Tight throat : MORE HORRID SYMPTOMS!!!! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1957)

Try several more snacks during your day and not make an issue of forcing and struggling with a big dinner at night when you're tired

mints, ice cubes, gum, rescue remedy, relaxation Cd, exercise yawning, constant sipping of water may all help.




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[henri]

Hey Ben,
it's a great site, isn't it?! good to know you are not alone.
i've been having cbt sessions over the last couple of months and they have really, really, helped me, it's a really hands-on approach that teaches you to lose your fear of symptoms like the ones you describe. it's tough, and doesn't work for everyone but definitely worth giving a go.

as for the whole job thing, it's a tricky one. i took five weeks off (paid sick leave) but at the start of those five weeks i had no idea what was wrong with me, thought i must have some terrible disease, etc. realised what was wrong by the end of it and had to tell work because i had to get my doctor and then my CBT therapist to write my boss a letter. everyone at work was fine, i was allowed to gradually return and now i'm pretty much back to 'normal'. i don't know how long you have been in your job for, but if you're on a contract, you have every right to take time off sick and if you think you need it before you get worse, then that's what you should do.

there's no quick fix. it's good that you have such a supportive partner and i promise you it will all get much better in time (it takes ages, but it gets better!)

henri x

[Karen]

Hi Ben

Welcome to the forum.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[hdouglass]

Hi Ben
Welcome to the site! The tight throat thing was the first symptom I have when I'm getting anxious or stressed, so I know then I have to try and relax (Yes it is scary at first), but you've got to think, if I stop thinking about it and relax it will eventually go away. It does take time, so don't expect miracles.
I tried Indian head massage and body massage and these have really helped me, try it if it doesn't work for you try something else, after all you don't know until you try. It also helps to tell the therapist the reason why you are seeing them, then they can choose the oils specifcally for your problem.
Hope this helps.
h:D

[bcgreen2000]

Thanks for all your knid messages.

Lin: Although I wouldn't wish this on anyone I was glad someone else was having the same 'compulsive swallowing' symptom and has managed to make some progress with it. It's very easy when you're suffering, day in day out, to become very enclosed and fixated on the symptom. Knowing someone else has got through this helps you to widen your vision and begin to see this as something common and controllable - it just takes time and commitment. I hope your progress continues and you work through this completely.

Meg: As this is your website (I think...) I was expecting some wise words - and I got them. You're right about the evening meal. It's like a big cloud that is there when I wake up so starts the anxiety straight away. Although with working 9 - 5 I can't come home and have a big lunch I can cetainly try snacking. I'm slightly worried about this as eating is so stressful I'm not sure having more meals times will help, but I'll try. Eating more when I'm not tired cetainly makes sense.

Today I also tried the mints and sipping water idea (Great). Not only does it stop my thorat getting so dry but helps reinforce the positive thought "I can swallow!!"

Thanks. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

As for everyone else. Thanks for the warm welcome and the understanding messages. I just hope I can get as much help and support from this site as you guys seem to have. I certainly feel more positive knowing I can login and read about succes stories, other peoples progress (ups and downs) and have online chats with people who are going through simialr things. Fingers crossed for the future!!

[lotus]

Hey Ben
I totally relate to everything you wrote. The first time I had a panick attack /I was 11 years old/ I was drinking orange juice. Suddenly, I felt like I couldn't swallow it, and it scared the hell out of me. My throat didn't feel tight, I just couldn't swallow, like there was something wrong with my swallowing reflex. I had anxiety issues for about a year, then I was OK, and the next 7 years I didn't even remember that it had ever happened. However, in July 2004 /when I was 18/ it all started again, and I'm still trying to cope with it. I can assure you that it does get better with time. My physical symptoms are mainly concentrated in my throat - I feel like I can't swallow, like I can't breathe etc. Sometimes I just can't stop thinking about my breathing - I think about breathing in, then I think about breathing out, sometimes it feels like I'm forcing myself to breathe, like it doesn't come naturally. Same thing with swallowing. There was a period when I was afraid to eat because I thought that I couldn't coordinate breathing and swallowing, and that I would choke any minute. It was worse when I had to eat in front of people. Things are much better now. Just try not to think about breathing and swallowing. I know it's hard, but try to do it, distract yourself, concentrate on something else. When you sleep, you don't choke, right? That means that your swallowing reflex is OK. It's just that it gets messed up when you think about it. It will get better with time ;]

Take care,
Allie

[Meg]

Hi Ben,

Its Nicola's (Nomorepanic herself) website not mine. She also has to oversee the chat room and all the clever website techy stuff whereas I just concentrate on this forum and writing the odd article and email/ phone support so often I am around more ...

So its fine to graze for a few days till this passes and not do any big meal events. Just ensure you graze on decent stuff please !
Get some rescue remedy too ..





Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

Hi Ben

Welcom aboard the forum. I have had the swallowing thing before and it is horrid isn't it? I also had a problem with my tongue for many months and the only way I can describe it is that it was too big for my mouth and I felt that I would choke on it.

The tongue feeling has gone now but sometimes I still feel that I can't swallow properly and that gets scary but I am learning to accept that it is just anxiety.

I hope we can be of some help to you on here and maybe you could pop in the chat room one night to say "hi".

Let us know if you have any other issues or questions to ask.

Nicola

[anxietysucks3]

I just read your message you left on here and are problems are dentical.The same **** happens to me ,dude u can talk to me through my msn messenger demonhunter@jaccommunications.com or email me at jaccommunications.com i couldnt have described the problem your having any better

[mjh74]

I have sent you a PM Ben but I can't believe how close your symptoms relate to mine in the throat region and how you've arrived here/there. They are almost identical and I know exactly what you're going through! I KNOW what it is, it's my fear of not being able to control it (at the minute) that I fear. Still, days are getting better but as you say in your post, these things do take a fair time to slowly settle down.

Regards,

Mark

[nomorepanic]

Ben - forgot to mention that I live near Stevenage (in Potton) and I work in Luton.

We do have meet-ups so maybe in time you would like to come along to one.

Nicola

[seh1980]

Welcome aboard!! :D

[bcgreen2000]

Hi All,

Just read all you kind messages. It's good to now I'm not alone. If you guys who are suffering the same thing ever need to chat drop me a PM letting me know when you'll be online and I'll try and be there. I'm sure it will help me to talk things through with someone who knows what it's like. Supporting each other - that's the key.

Quick update. Had an ok day today... Breakfast was pretty good and then we decided to have our main meal at Lunch, not Dinner (inspired by Meg) This worked well. Had Nut Roast and veg (Lots of bits, doesn't really turn to mush) and managed to eat most (left burnt bits! [8)]). Veg was difficult as it felt a bit stringy - worried I'd swallow a bit that was still attached to some in my mouth (very specific I know). Still, I felt positive afterwards and didn't need to worry too much about Dinner as I could just snack, or miss completly if needed. Dinner was more difficult (I was tired) but I ate it. Only soup and Bread but it felt good to finish. Not sure if anyone is still reading about my facinating day but it's good to write it down - A good day!

Marl & Justin: Hope you're both doing ok. Feel free to add me to your MSN Messenger (bcgreen2000@hotmail.com). It's a nasty symptom, but that's all it is. A symptom of anxiety. I'm not a symptom! I was fine before and I'll be fine again. That's my current mantra. It might work... :)

Nicola: Thanks for the kind offer of joining your meet-ups. I will certainly consider it. Is it a regular thing? HOw many people go? Are they all suffering from anxiety?

[Meg]

**I'm not a symptom!** I love this ...

Glad its going well.. keep pushing back your boundaries once they get comfortable.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[mjh74]

Hi Ben,

I added you to my messenger list, I'll appear as mjh17474@hotmail.com next time you log onto it.


Cheers,

Mark'

[swansonjoey]

Hi my name is joey I am 24I have been dealing with this choking fear for about 4 years now I have learned some tricks that help me through my day to day struggels but this is the first time I have ever looked it up on the internet. It is just nice to know Im not alone no one I know really understands I keep it hidden well though so not many people know so it is nice to just talk about it openly. My anxiety is getting worse with every day it started off just haveing a hard time swallowing a few things now I can barely swallow my own saliva. It has its ups and downs the morning is the best time for me to eat and night time is the worst. I get so pissed of some times, wasteing money on food that I just end up spitting out and being so hungry and haveing the food right in front of me. I mean its right there all I gotta do is eat it, easy said then done. I dont really know if this is a forum for me to vent about it or to ask for advise but im just glad to have someone to talk to about it anyone else want to talk about it and vent to me feel free I know what its like.

[eeyorelover]

Hi Joey.
Welcome to the site.
Please check out the help pages on the left of the page and we also have lots of posts about choking, throat issues under the symptoms section of the site.
I'm sure you will find loads of useful info and lots of supportive new friends here :)
xxx
Sandy