Krakers
29-06-08, 15:03
Hi all - I've been relatively lucky. I had my last PA in Nov '06 and haven't had one since. Although I have (on a scale of 1 to 10) been at an 8 a few times. Usually I have a background anxiety level of 2, and have just learned to live with it.
For some reason last night, I hit a 9 for a good 10 mins and was right on the verge of having a PA. I was sooooo close it was scary, which is probably why I was so close.
Thing is I don't know what set it off. I suffer very few symptoms generally (lucky again I guess), but went from being my usual self to a almost full blown panic within seconds.
I've sat here today and tried to rationalise what it was that set me off, but I just can't put my finger on it. We left a club late (4am), set off for home which was 9 miles away in the car (all of us are non-drinkers BTW). By the time we hit the first traffic lights the conversation had faded into the background and there I was at a 9. Thinking hard about breathing steadily, gulping at my saliva and trying to talk myself down.
The time it went on for was almost as long as it took to get home. My mate knows I'm a sufferer and I mentioned it to him as I was the last to be dropped off. He said he would have pulled over, but I told him that's why I didn't mention it. I wanted to ride it out than give in. One less place for me to avoid next time I'm out.
A bit rambling this post, sorry. It's just got me baffled as to why after 20 months of not having a PA I was so close last night. Going to try not to dwell on it too much, but I can't help wondering.
Krakers.
For some reason last night, I hit a 9 for a good 10 mins and was right on the verge of having a PA. I was sooooo close it was scary, which is probably why I was so close.
Thing is I don't know what set it off. I suffer very few symptoms generally (lucky again I guess), but went from being my usual self to a almost full blown panic within seconds.
I've sat here today and tried to rationalise what it was that set me off, but I just can't put my finger on it. We left a club late (4am), set off for home which was 9 miles away in the car (all of us are non-drinkers BTW). By the time we hit the first traffic lights the conversation had faded into the background and there I was at a 9. Thinking hard about breathing steadily, gulping at my saliva and trying to talk myself down.
The time it went on for was almost as long as it took to get home. My mate knows I'm a sufferer and I mentioned it to him as I was the last to be dropped off. He said he would have pulled over, but I told him that's why I didn't mention it. I wanted to ride it out than give in. One less place for me to avoid next time I'm out.
A bit rambling this post, sorry. It's just got me baffled as to why after 20 months of not having a PA I was so close last night. Going to try not to dwell on it too much, but I can't help wondering.
Krakers.