View Full Version : Harming others....Intrusive thoughts....
Ill start off with a brief backed ground,im currently, my brother died 7 years (he was 8 at the time) my mom became suicidal and my dad became an alcholic.
Ive had problems with anxiety for about 2 years, starting with little things like my health.
In the last 4 or 5 months, ive become terrified that im going to harm(kill) somebody. Most of the time im worried that id harm someone I love, but sometimes its random strangers I see in the street etc.
Its gotten to the point where I feel like its going to happen whether I want it to or not, and It scares me that one day I might start liking these thoughts, and will want to act out on them.
Ive be trying to put together reasons why Im feeling like this, I do not think it is simpily OCD, but a form of anxiety, with other background reasons built in.
Heres some of the reasons why I think i feel like i do.
I have been, and still am, very depressed, and this has lead to lack of emotion, which make me feel like I just wouldnt care if I did something to someone (even though im sure I would care)
I have lots of built up anger, and stress, which im scared will find its way out.
IT sometimes feels like if i did harm someone, that all these thoughts would go away, which is stupid, and rationally i know its not true.
Ive come to believe myself as a bad person, who is capable of doing something like that, although in truth, I dont think I am.Ive seen psycitrists and doctors, and I have had councilling, all of which have helped to a certain extent, but im still sitting here, scared, and worried that i will act out of these thoughts.
Thanks for reading, im sure ive missed somethings out.
You won't act on these thoughts as that is what they are, just thoughts.With your background it is anxiety that causes them, I have them as well and they are the opposite of what you really want to happen. They do happen to poeple without anxiety as well as my counceller told me and are more common than you realise, the trick is not to worry about them, I know it's not easy but try and distract yourself when the thoughts come, by concentrating on your surroundings.
Good luck:bighug1: :bighug1:
Lesleyb
bluebottle
30-06-08, 16:49
Hi Windows, this is very, very common in anxiety. Totally normal and you won't do what your worrying about. Its usually about/around family members, but can be strangers or animals. Let the thoughts come bit by bit. Don't push them away. Let the image pass through your mind however awful it seems, and let it go. Its anxiety, and not you. Meg who is connected to this site will tell you how she used to be scared of knives at one time because she thought she might do something terrible. I have had lots of these thoughts, every thing under the sun. All rubbish, I wouldn't hurt a fly. Neither will you.
I have felt EXACTLY like that since April (when my first real attack happened). I've managed to prove to myself that nothing will happen by going out the house and going shopping, seeing friends.. anything to be with people. And you know what? It has helped, because I realize i've just walked down a whole street of people and not thought about it once because my mind is on where i'm going next, you start to enjoy yourself. At first I was scared i'd do something but now I know I won't. I've also told myself over and over a lot of things that are helping me.
xxxxxx
All the reasons that you have typed are all connected to your fear of harming others.
You feel depressed because the thoughts won't leave you alone because you fear them.
You feel alot of anger because the thoughts stress you so much.
You "think" harming someone would get rid of the thoughts because the thoughts frighten and stress you so much but of course you wouldn't. You just want the thoughts to stop.
You feel a bad person for having these bad thoughts.
I've copied the following from a post I typed in reply to another thread because I thought they might help you....
Our minds focus on fear so that anything that represents danger will trigger fearful thoughts of "losing control" because fear makes us need to feel in control at all times like walking a safe path.
Thoughts that make us feel afraid cause anxiety symptoms which in themselves create fear so we do our best to avoid thinking fearful thoughts to avoid the symptoms they produce. We like to keep to our safe path by not allowing us to experience bad thoughts to keep in control of our feelings to avoid anxiety symptoms.
Fear creates these bad thoughts Because we live in fear. If we stand at the top of a clifftop watching a sunset, we fail to see the beauty of the sunset because fear makes us focus on not getting too close to the edge and the long drop from the clifftop instead!
We need to learn to allow ourselves to venture off our safe path to think bad thoughts without being afraid of them because they're just thoughts created by our fear and then the bad thoughts stop troubling us so we can then enjoy the good things in life.:hugs:
hi
i have bad thoughts which are of a sexual nature and am horrified that one day ill like them and do what im thinking.
no matter what people say like thats not u its ocd it still seems real...........
so your not alone mate
j-man
Worried worrier!
12-08-08, 15:33
Hi, i'm really struggling with intrusive thoughts at the moment. I can't bear it. I feel as though i'm losing my mind and that i will act on them too.
I keep having one of stabbing my son....which is awful and scares me. but i keep playing it in my mind and now i'm scared that i'm starting to like these thoughts as i dont seem as bothered by them and am getting myself into a right state.
I am so frightened and never want my children to come to any harm. I feel as though i need someone to reassure me constantly.
I am a good and very loving person but am so afraid of turning psychotic or that my thoughts will become fantasies.
I keep trying to calm myself by testing myself with bad thoughts and images but i'm so worked up and feel numb and am so afraid of huting my children.
Hello worried worrier I get a similar thought about my boyfriend who is actually lovely and like you would never want him to come to any harm. I have rationalised these thoughts in the following way ; if I did not like those thoughts and think they where bad or somehow know they are unpleasent then I would be psychotic. Therefore you could not possibly turn psychotic. Also even if you did you wouldn't realise or understand consequences therefore you have nothing to worry about. But any way you won't turn psychotic because you have 'insight' into your anxiety you are able to communicate clearly what you are feeling and what you are feeling is not psychosis it is anxiety. Also don't worry about the fantasy thing someone did some research recently showing that people in caring professions; teacher, nurse, doctor have the highest levels of violent fantasy. The researchers even suggest that this could be a means of coping with the stress of constantly being caring and kind. So by extension you could assume violent fantasy may even be healthy! However I'm sure it needs to be balanced out by good fantasy. My opinion is that testing yourself with bad thoughts and images may make you more anxious. Why not try exposing yourself to some feel good fantasy? Write a childrens book or do something creative. Allow your bad thoughts to come and go just like a bad smell. Don't try and stop them it could make you more anxious. A bad smell comes as quickly as it goes. Obviously it's easier to deal with a bad smell you open a window and get out the air freshner. May be you could think of some simple ways to deal with those thoughts that can distract you from them. Just writing this to you has helped me! I hope I've helped you a bit. Sorry about the bad smell metaphor I probably sound like a bit of a prat lolxxx
Hi, thats for all your imput, its nice to know im not alone in this.
Worried Worrier, I feel exactly the same as you, I worry that im going hurt someone one minute, and the next im worried that im not worrying, I can also tatally understand the numb thing aswell, I stared to get terrified because it felt almost like i didnt care if i acted up on thoughts (although now i realise that i obviously did care, because other wise i wouldnt have been worried), i think im slowly making progress, although i still have bad patches, and my mind always seems to still be tuned in to this anxiety, for example ill be in a situation and ill start thinking, i could do this... i could do that.... i think ive started to realise that they are just thoughts, although they seem very real at times, and sometimes feel like im going to act on them, I figure I been feeling like this for about 6 months now, and I havnt done anything, so why would i now?
You will not turn psycotic, If you were, you certainly wouldnt be worried about acting on thoughts, and i very much doubt that you'd be on this forum telling us about it!
Thanks for all your help, and it will get better! even if it dosnt feel like it right now
Hi windows,
Seems like we are all sensitive souls! I have a pretty similar take on things to you it seems. Obviously there's no right or wrong in tackling these issues but I did wonder if CBT might speed up progress in working towards being symptomless. I've only tried CBT self-help for panic attacks which was good. Have you heard or tried it for intrusive thoughts? I seem to be progressing well on my own right but I'm worried that when I'm under stress the thoughts will come back. However I quite like dealing with stuff on my own it gives me a sense of achievement and i don't feel like something is really wrong just that I feel quite vulnerable.
Just wondered if you've got any ideas?
Cleo:shrug:
FroggyPrince
29-08-08, 22:38
All these horrid thoughts sound sooooo familiar. I went through a phase of having these years ago...what if I do this, what if I do that etc. All of these 'what if' thoughts had one thing in common for me:
I never acted on any of them. Ever.
Best Wishes,
Paul (Froggy)
Quiet-Lift
31-08-08, 05:48
Hi Windows ( I like your name by the way...):)
Just to let you know that you are not the only one who has thoughts like these.
I have thoughts about killing certain members of my family who have been so selfish and stupid in the past.
I could quite happily bludgeon them to death with a claw hammer...but I wouldn't. It's just a thought and no matter how intense or real it may seem in my mind's eye, and no matter how much alarming and distressing emotion comes with it...it always goes away eventually.
Distraction is good and maybe you could find a safe way of acting out these murderous thoughts on an object. Perhaps you could think of the name of someone who has hurt you, write it down on piece of paper, put it on a pillow on your bed and whack the hell out of it with a stick...or something similar.:mad:
I've tried it myself from time to time and although it induces a headache in me, this may be because there is a lot more anger under the surface.
I'm sorry to hear about you circumstances. They make mine seem trivial. Glad that you are talking about these things on this forum. A very healthy and sensible thing to do.
By the way, I don't think you're a bad person. Lots of people have these thoughts. Perhaps they don't admit to them because killing someone in the mind is a much safer and healthier option than killing someone in reality.
Take care and all the best
You are definately not alone!!
I have been going through this recently, and it has caused me to get VERY depressed at times. And it is OCD combined with anxiety, panic disorder, and a "Fear of Losing Control".
Here are some of my thoughts on how to overcome it and move on:
Everytime a thought surfaces, just label it OCD, and dont react to it. The worst thing you can do is react to it, because there is no real emotional connection to the feeling. It is just your brain stuck in a pattern of obsessive thinking. And because you are anxious by nature, like me, its thinking about the wrong things.
Realise you have a 'fear.' These thoughts are arising NOT because you actually want to hurt someone, but because you DON'T want to hurt someone. It is a fear of "Losing Control."
Its like when you say "Dont think of a Pink Elephant" and its too late because you already have. Your brain is probably saying, and it has done for me, "Dont think about harming someone"....
...but its too late, you already have, and now you feel sick, anxious and depressed.
DO NOT WORRY!
Its just a form of OCD, and you can treat it with mental techniques and exercises, NLP, and even medication.
If its still getting you down, go and see your Doctor. Tell him everything, and how you have researched on the internet, and that you have a variation of OCD.
Do not feel like you are alone. Go and see a counsellor and explain everything. They won't cart you off to a mental hospital.
There are many people out there who get very reclusive because of these thoughts, and I did for a while too. I felt like I needed to shut myself away so that I wasnt a threat to people, and so I didnt have to worry. There are many people out there who probably get so bad with this and never really understand why, that they either become a complete recluse, or they can no longer go on. And I can empathise with both. But...
What you have is an entirely normal situation for someone to be in. The important thing is identifying it, labeling it, coming up with a plan of action to deal with it, and sorting it out.
Good luck,
Peace
Jason
Worried worrier!
10-10-08, 12:35
Just Want To Say A Huge Thank You To Cleo And Windows. I'm Having Alot More Good Days Than Bad At The Moment. You Have Both Helped Me To Think Differently Too. Cheers. Xx
Hey,
I have lots of irrational fears which fortunately I can now label as fears only - once you can do this, everything becomes more clear. Now when I think up an awful image and would usually think "Eve that's a terrible thing to think: you must be turning into a horrible, evil monster", i think "I know what this thought it: this thought is one of my fears. Hello, fear - stay as long as you like but recognise that you are not who I am or what I want." They can be terribly strong and make me feel that I can act them out, but the truth is, they really are just terrifying fears. I hope you will find help in this too.
And remember the 2 primary ways you can tell you are not a threat to society are - 1) the fact you feel guilty or worry about the thoughts and 2) you have no history of acting out thoughts or of violence. Good news!!
Good luck! :yahoo:
PS - Windows, you should have no concern about ever acting out any of your thoughts. But just as a friendly tip - you mention you have a bit of pent up stress and anger (join the club - nothing wrong with that!). One thing that really helped to allieviate stress and anger for me was to exercise every day, eat healthily, say a prayer at night to "whoever" asking for less anger and stress in my life, kickboxing (that really helps!!!!) and meditation. The fact you have stress in your life is most likely bringing on these thoughts, and it could be a signal that you need to bring some love and self-help into your own life, just to calm yourself, and feel less fear. But remember - you are totally normal and will not in a million years be a threat to anyone. Believe us - as we have all been there....these thoughts are just thoughts. xx
Mrmojorisin
19-03-09, 01:50
Hi all,
This is the first time i have been on the site, and to be honest i'm so relieved that the site exists and there are other sufferers in the same boat as me! please bear with me!:shrug:
For months i have had similar thoughts of harming others, and occasionally myself, but have been so scared to tell anybody about it! Part of the reason i have'nt been able to tell anybody about my thoughts is the fact i work with vulnerable young people in my job, and feel that if i did tell a G.P or healthcare professional what i was thinking i would surely lose my job and be locked in a padded cell and bring major shame to my family and friends!
After reading earlier posts i can relate to everybody on the forum. i seem to be in a constant battle with my mind, and dread the weird impulses and urges that come over me to harm others. I am worried sick about it to be honest and feel absolutely trapped!
I had a bad episode of this today at work, where i was eating lunch with my colleagues. Everybody was in general conversation about what was on t.v last night e.t.c and all i could think about was putting my knife into the person who sat closest to me! i felt sick, i could hardly chew, my legs began to fidget and i felt absolutely terrible about it.
ive had numerous episodes like this in the last few months, and i really dont know when it will all subside, if at all!!??? i cant afford to have any more time off work as i was off before xmas with diagnosed depression and anxiety. Really dont know what to do, or where to turn! sorry its so long winded all.:unsure:
I,too have to suffer the agony of awful horrible thoughts..
I have had the thought about smothering my mum when she slept and I got so shakey I had to hold on to something cos I was so upset,my mother is my EVERYTHING!
I have even thought about touching children inappropriately but I would NEVER do anything like that.
My friend has a little girl and I'm terrified to even hold her for fear I hurt her or something.
OCD are nasty thoughts but the difference is that we are bothered by them and would not act.
It is a hell.
I get to the poin also that if I think a bad thought,I have to do something to compensate it like touch something or another bad thing will happen and it was caused by my thought.
If that makes sense. xxx
georgespook
20-05-10, 11:11
i suffered with this stuff for years. Drinking too much is one cause of it, believe me. If u can cut down your alcohol consumption these thoughts will back off, slowly butt steadily. I still feel them coming back now, so then i just stop drinking for a week and there they go again. Its not magic it's fact that alcohol does do this too us all. Also other drugs can cause anxiety. I thought i was a mad man, ready to run around town with an axe..... its a horrible condition and i would not wish it upon my worst enemy. If anyone is suffering now, email me or contact me and i will try to help. I have been there, you dont have to suffer. Oh and before you start thinking that i want money, think again..... i am happy to help for nothing friends. Be strong!.
i too am suffering with horrible intrusive thoughts about hurting people i love. It is really distressing and i try to use the techniques taught in cbt but it is very difficult.
i am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Has anybody had these thoughts and been treat with another medication as well as mirtazapine?
Hello,
I am sorry that I have not replied before this but I have been on holiday and wanted to say something about this. What you said in your first post about being scared that one day it will happen and being scared of losing control and sometimes feeling like if you do do something then it will stop these thoughts. I have had this down to a tee! When you say that you think it my be due to stress and anger pent up that is exactly how I feel, its truly awful and I am so sorry that you to have to go through this too! All of those on here that have replied actually. It is truly an awful cross to bear! I know it can feel that it will happen whether we want it to or not but I really think, after 5 years of suffering myself that it wont. Anxiety can make things way too much for us. I agree with what Bill says, I think the fear is the major thing in it.
I know just how hard it is, I have had so many bad thoughts but mine are mainly sexual ones now which make me feel even worse but I know that I wouldn't be going through all o this pain inside if they were true.
I hope you manage to handle these and live with them for what they are.
Take care xxx
jlcougar12
29-11-11, 04:12
So glad I found this site!! I know it hasn't been posted on in about two years but it was really helpful.
I've had a lot of these same thoughts. Thoughts about what if I took a pair of scissors and jabbed them into my stomach. What if I got a rope from my jacket and hung myself or what if I took my own hand and choked myself.
Well... I don't want to do any of those things. I love my family too much and wouldn't want to cause them any pain if any of those things ever happened. I don't want to have my roommates find me dead... I realize if I really wanted to do those things then people finding me wouldn't matter. I'm not suicidal but these unwanted thoughts almost make me feel as if I am suicidal. I love myself. I love my education, my future career, my family, my religion. I would never want to do anything to compromise my future. So I worry about my thoughts whenever I have them and I play the images through my mind like a video.
I feel like a horrible person who really wants to harm myself. When I was first diagnosed with anxiety last year I even took a pair of scissors and held it up to my stomach but I could never make myself jab them in. I can put my hand on my neck and squeeze it tight but I can still breathe. It's almost as if I am just checking myself, to see how far I will go or to see if it could actually happen.
The thoughts are scary and I'm on Prozac 20mg for anxiety/depression but it doesn't seem to be helping right now (I'm about three weeks in). Hopefully I'm not the only one with these thoughts!
capricorn234
03-12-11, 23:39
I have just joined this site and I am so relieved to know that others have these thoughts too. It truly is terrifying and when it has been at it's worse I have felt suicidal. Now I know that it is part of OCD and that I am not alone it makes it more bearable. Everything that you lovely people have posted I can identify with. Thankyou so much for sharing on here and making this so much less terrifying. Mine are usually about my son, the most important person in my life and therefore this hurts the most. I just want to live a normal life without this torment.
So glad I found this site!! I know it hasn't been posted on in about two years but it was really helpful.
I've had a lot of these same thoughts. Thoughts about what if I took a pair of scissors and jabbed them into my stomach. What if I got a rope from my jacket and hung myself or what if I took my own hand and choked myself.
Well... I don't want to do any of those things. I love my family too much and wouldn't want to cause them any pain if any of those things ever happened. I don't want to have my roommates find me dead... I realize if I really wanted to do those things then people finding me wouldn't matter. I'm not suicidal but these unwanted thoughts almost make me feel as if I am suicidal. I love myself. I love my education, my future career, my family, my religion. I would never want to do anything to compromise my future. So I worry about my thoughts whenever I have them and I play the images through my mind like a video.
I feel like a horrible person who really wants to harm myself. When I was first diagnosed with anxiety last year I even took a pair of scissors and held it up to my stomach but I could never make myself jab them in. I can put my hand on my neck and squeeze it tight but I can still breathe. It's almost as if I am just checking myself, to see how far I will go or to see if it could actually happen.
The thoughts are scary and I'm on Prozac 20mg for anxiety/depression but it doesn't seem to be helping right now (I'm about three weeks in). Hopefully I'm not the only one with these thoughts!
Everything in this post I identify with!! I have been having these thoughts for about 8 months and the severity of how much it effects me changes all the time!
I also love my family an have the most perfect boyfriend ever an the thought that I wud act on an impulse and kill myself makes me feel sick to my stomach.
Every time I hear of someone who has committed suicide I put myself in the picture and imagine that it will happen to me and it gets me so down.
I have health anxiety aswell which goes perfectly hand in hand with these thoughts because I worry that I will become severely depressed and start to de value my life. This worry obviously just feeds my intrusive thoughts and it's like a little vicious circle I get myself on. I feel so much more better when I read thing like ur post as I feel less alone an it reminds me it is just a fear.
And with the fear being so strong will mean that we will never act out in these thoughts as the terrify us too much.
jlcougar12
04-12-11, 18:26
Everything in this post I identify with!! I have been having these thoughts for about 8 months and the severity of how much it effects me changes all the time!
I also love my family an have the most perfect boyfriend ever an the thought that I wud act on an impulse and kill myself makes me feel sick to my stomach.
Every time I hear of someone who has committed suicide I put myself in the picture and imagine that it will happen to me and it gets me so down.
I have health anxiety aswell which goes perfectly hand in hand with these thoughts because I worry that I will become severely depressed and start to de value my life. This worry obviously just feeds my intrusive thoughts and it's like a little vicious circle I get myself on. I feel so much more better when I read thing like ur post as I feel less alone an it reminds me it is just a fear.
And with the fear being so strong will mean that we will never act out in these thoughts as the terrify us too much.
Exactly! It's just one of those things I have to keep telling myself. It's a fear and the fact that I'm afraid of it means I would never do it! It's so hard to convince your mind of that though.
I understand how you feel and every time I have those intrusive thoughts I worry about what would my Mom do? I mean it's like it's so realistic even though it's not. I can tell with Prozac that I'm able to deal with things better but it still feels like I have a nagging in the back of my mind about something that I'm worried about.
I know that we'll get through this. No matter how many times we have to convince our brains that it's just a fear and we'll never do it.
Yea it is very hard at times and at the minute feels like a constant battle.
I know that I will never do it but I can't help but worry that my mental state will change and I won't be able to cope with my worries anymore and I will eventually do it. I do recognise that's that is all a part of the fear of losing control.
I also imagine my family and my boyfriend and how hurt they would be.
Have u tried mindfulness meditation? I tried this about 6 month ago an it seemed to help a lot but I haven't kept up with it so think thats why I have got myself back in this vicious circle. Along with the recent news of an unexpected suicide I have but become so trapped in my own head and all my worries have come straight back. I do hate it.
jlcougar12
06-12-11, 06:40
No I haven't heard of Mindfulness Meditation. I am going to look into several books targeted toward anxiety that come with workbooks. The best way to learn how to deal with anxiety and those thoughts is to learn more about it and ways that you can conquer it. It's all in the mind and the mind is a powerful thing. I went to a counselor one time who said I had to "train my brain". Whew-- it's hard stuff.
But despite all of the worry that we both have when we have these thoughts we learn more about ourselves and the strength that we really have. We have these thoughts but you haven't done anything because you see where your heart really lies.
Has anyone tried 'The Linden Method'? I was plagued until I did that. Then I was free!!!
Relapsed recently tho... but because I took my eye off the ball.
xxx
jlcougar12
10-12-11, 04:51
Actually I was just diagnosed with OCD. Most of the symptoms that I had corresponded directly with OCD. That is if you obsess over those "scary" intrusive thoughts.
Anxiety follows a bout with OCD. I'm not saying that everyone has OCD that has this problem, it is definitely caused by anxiety. Just make sure you get checked out by a health care professional.
Yes I was also diagnosed with OCD for my intrusive thoughts and then health anxiety.
The OCD was the intrusive thoughs of 'what if I jump of a bridge or hang myself or slit my wrists?' etc
And the health anxiety is 'what if I become so depressed that I want to do all these things? What if I give up my battle with OCD and eventually do want to kill myself'
I am not as bothered by the intrusive thoughts now but the health anxiety is still bothering me on a daily basis. I still worry for hours that I am going to become depressed an lose the will to live.
I don't want to die atall and I can always see light at the end of the tunnel but this worry does get me down.
I have heard of the linden method sO I might look into that again.
jlcougar12
11-12-11, 05:13
Sorry that you feel that way!
But check out the symptoms of purely obsessional OCD as well. Kind of sounds like you might have some of those symptoms as well.
Try any methods that you can that improve your outlook.
I'm on meds right now and looking to buy a book and workbook for OCD.
About a year ago around this time I was plagued by health anxiety. I had been getting headaches around finals week in school and I had never felt them before. I went to the doctor so many times saying my head hurts here, maybe it's a sinus infection.... I kept trying to diagnose myself with all kinds of things. Then I heard that a woman back at home was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She had reported headaches that came all of a sudden. I had just had a headache that was so splitting and sudden I thought I was going to pass out or even die. I had a panic attack that night and was scared every day that I would get a headache again.. and then I started worrying that the headache could have been the first signs of a tumor. I was told I had tension headaches but I didn't believe the diagnosis. I still believed that I had a "brain tumor" and I spent hours and hours every day searching for the symptoms of a brain tumor to see if I had them. I became depressed, obsessed, and full of anxiety. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was afraid I would die in my sleep.. I was afraid that I would choke on something if I ate. I was living in fear. It was horrible. Every day I would talk to my mom and ask her if I was okay and repeat myself and my questions over and over again. I couldn't get the thoughts out of my mind. I failed three classes that semester. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and put on meds. Those seemed to really help but I still had some anxiety during that first year on meds. I had to switch meds twice because of weight gain. This summer I was able to go off of meds for three months and it felt great! When school started again the anxiety started coming back and the intrusive thought were the first thing. I went to the doctor the other day complaining that something wasn't right and then I was diagnosed with OCD. I looked up OCD on various sites and found most of my symptoms fall under purely obsessional OCD. Needless to say, I feel SO much better knowing my main problem is OCD and I know where the anxiety comes from. Just know that you will be okay and you won't do those things. I know how scary the thought are.
Do what you need to do! Be strong!
justanotherworrier
16-04-12, 14:51
Hi All,
This is my first post and felt I had to register and reply as It means so much to me to realise I'm not alone and others have the same problem too.
I cried like a baby reading this thread, I think it must be a massive release of pent up anxiety and stress over the years thinking I was going mad.
I've been putting off getting any sort of help or even googling the problem because I was afraid of finding out I was psychotic and should be locked up.
Everything I saw that could be used to harm someone would suddenly jump into my mind, i.e a hammer or knife etc would set it off.
I have been getting to the stage that I didn't want to go into the kitchen because of the knives or stroke my cats who I adore because I was afraid I would hurt them or even being next to my girlfriend or standing too close too family members would set it off.
I've had some serious depression and anxiety over the last two months which certainly fuelled the problem and made it worse.
It was worst at the start but I would like to recommend a product that has definitely helped with the anxiety and the thoughts don't seem to get "stuck" as much in the mind.
udos choice oil
I've been taking it for two months and can see an improvement.
It's very nice to add to food and essential oils have been shown to help with OCD.
I'm off to see a psychiatrist and nutritionist this week as I'm sure a lot of my problems are down to a bad diet and many years of not taking good care of my body,i.e too many stimulants etc.
God bless and I hope everyone who has this problem gets all the help they need to overcome it.
Think this is Pure o - to be honest I have mild traits of this for years and just thought it was me - didn't even know it had a name. It comes under OCD but because they are thoughts Pure o - I was symptom free of this for 15 years untl my prozac stopped working am in a right state now - as doc won't put me on any more until I have been seen by a psychiatrist - it is horrible and distressing and takes over your life.
Now on another quest to find the rights meds. May I ask what meds you are taking and if they are helping.
Thanks in advance.
Laura
---------- Post added at 16:40 ---------- Previous post was at 16:39 ----------
There is a heading on here I put on called Pure O
Yes, would be interesting to hear what medication people have been taking. I had a day where all I could think about was spitting in people's faces or attacking them. I know I don't want to do it and have never followed through with these thoughts in the past, but it's still really annoying when these thoughts lodge themselves in my mind and won't go.
I'm currently having CBT which seems to be helping - I'm now trying to get on with life and do things and not let the thoughts control what I do. However like a bad smell they follow me around and get in my way. I guess the fear I have is that I may act on them someday - even though I haven't yet, the fear is that I might.
Citalopram just made me hyper and tense which made the thoughts worse whereas fluoxetine seemed to help at times yet made me hyper/tense at others. If needbe I'll try that again but at 10mg (I was on 20mg) but was wondering if there are any other meds out there that helped with the intrusive thoughts? If the healthy lifestyle/CBT doesn't work I may need to start taking them again :mad:
Thanks all!
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