Really upset.

[noonoo]

I hope this is the right place to put this.

I met a guy in January, we went on a date and by the end just decided to be friends. I was upset but got over it for a good while, we stopped talking for about a month and gradually starting to again. Then in April he told me he's got a new girlfriend, and since then i've been playing it cool and trying to accept it.. I had been doing well until tonight. I had a sudden downfall and felt emotionally weak and told him I miss him (but just as a friend) and I wish we could hang out or something (we haven't seen each other since January). I felt like my heart could explode I was and still am hurting a lot - he didn't reply to me.

Here's the thing I just don't get and can't understand. He's got a girlfriend yes, but he still texts me and if I don't text back within max of 10 mins he texts again, and I was at a BBQ yesterday and he text me almost the whole time and I did reply. He keeps coming back to me. He's invited me to a gig with him and whoever else this month and i'm looking forward to seeing him again, just hoping it won't be too awkward. Today I broke down when he told me he was with her, I haven't done that before. I've tried to remain strong but today was definately a weak point. I've been crying most of the evening.

I've fallen so, so hard for him, recently we've been finding more things in common and I like him more and more. I'm so upset and I just don't know what else I can do, that's really why i'm here. I think about him all day everyday even knowing he's taken. It's like i'm torturing myself.

Does anyone have any advice to give me at all?

:sad::weep:

xxxxx

[LucyR]

It certainly does not sound as if he is the kind to lose any sleep over.

[Joe1981]

Just think of it this way...

If he was your bf how would you feel if he was texting some other girl all day?

To me it seems like he's playing both sides, time to move on and find a one woman kind of guy ;)

This is just coming from 1 guys point of view.

[Cathy V]

Hi noonoo, im sorry to hear that you're felling so down and after reading some of your previous posts, where you say that you've never had a serious relationship, im under the impression that you are latching on to boys perhaps in the hope that this will be 'the one' and in doing so allowing bad behaviour. Weve all been there, and ppl of any age can make the same mistakes with blokes over and over...its not exclusive to the youngsters believe me! All i can say to you is that i feel deep down you know yourself that this boy isnt going to make you feel special, he just wants to feel that he has all the attention. Your health is more important than trying to please him, you need someone who will be there for you no matter what, not someone who will always be playing games with your emotions. You are still quite young and shouldnt be taking life so seriously. You will meet your mr. perfect one day so dont let life pass you by while you wait....and don't sell your soul to the devil! :noangel:

Best wishes
Cathy xxx

[noonoo]

" If he was your bf how would you feel if he was texting some other girl all day?"

That is how I started to think in the early hours of this morning when my head finally decided to de-fuzzy itself, so I let him be.

Thankyou so much for your replies!

xxxxxx

[kellie]

Hiya hun im so sorry you are feeling so upset and that this man is the reason for it. i understand how hard it can be when you feel very strongly for some one and its not realy returned. I dont think he realy wants to be with you hun as if he did he would not be seeing some one else. the best way for you to get over this man is to have no contact with him at all and try the best you can to move on. you are worth more than what he is offering which seems very little to me.
here are some big hugs for you and i hope you feel better soon.

:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

take care.

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[noonoo]

I know i'm silly, I know i'm silly but after 8 days of no talking I gave in again :doh: argghhhh!! Although in that short time I have learnt to lay off. He has a girlfriend and told me today it's their 3 months and okay so it seems a little easier to accept but it still hurts, and I still wish it was me instead. I think quietly about him to myself even when we don't talk.

xxxxxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Ditch him and walk away - he is using you!

[noonoo]

What I don't understand is why I keep getting rejected, or they say they like me, then just as a friend and then find someone else.

Is it me? Is it something i've said or done? is it my personality?
I'm 21 and never been with anyone, and as i've said before I know i'm still young but this really gets me down that I might never find someone. I always feel like it's my fault and that I should have tried harder.

I wish people would give me a chance :(

[Cathy V]

I read somewhere that if you come across as being desperate, or needy you'll put blokes off. But if you just get on with your life without the thought that you need to have a man in it, have some confidence and independence, then they will be more attracted to you. Life doesnt always have to revolve around men. let them come to you...not you to them :) xxxx


Happiness is like a buterfly
If you chase it it will elude you
But when you put your mind to other things
You'll find it sitting gently on your shoulder

[marie1974]

hun, if we are sometimes feeling bad about ourselves we attract the lowlifes and control freaks in life. he is using u hun please ignore him. he wants his cake amd eat itand u r worth so much more. dont let him taxt u anymore hun it will just keep on hurting u

[noonoo]

As hard as this gets I think i'm on my way to realizing we'll never be together and accepting it, plus i've thought about a few things that have made me think less of him :lac:

[Dawn08]

Hi

Sorry to hear your story hun, but honestly it really sounds as if this ex boyfriend of yours is wanting to 'have his cake and eat it' at the same time. He is playing both you girls at once. Perhaps he knows that you are giving him so many chances and he is taking advantage of this.
You seem like a wonderful, loving person and kind hearted too - please dont waste your energy on this loser. Get out with your friends, enjoy your life again and believe me your "knight in shining armour" WILL COME ALONG, and you will be saying to yourself one day "why did I waste my time on that other guy?"
Good Luck hun and All The Best !!!!

Dawn:hugs: