Trying to keep it together.

[ladybird64]

Hi. I don't normally send out a request for help but I'm struggling at the moment.
I have had a rough week with depression and anxiety and have managed to handle it ok but I could do with some advice on a little problem (little!:scared15: ).
My daughter has been invited to a birthday party on Saturday which in itself isn't worrying for me but it's the journey to get there that's starting to freak me out.
I can't get on a train/tube (no problems once I'm on the train but I go into meltdown on the platform) so that one is ruled out.
so..that leaves the bus. I have just spent the last hour and a half on the transport for London site checking the route..then double checking the maps..then looking for alternative routes..I'm sure you get the picture.
It looks like I will have to get 3 buses just to get there. :weep:
I will have to ask the girl's parents if I can stay with my daughter as the journey is so long which makes me feel like I'm imposing on them.
I could ask my other daughter to come along with me but the thought of asking these strangers if not only me but my oldest daughter can stay until the party is finished is a bit rude..or is it? :shrug:
I can't expect oldest daughter to do the journey with youngest daughter either as young'un can have very unpredictable mood swings..which might not go down too well in a slightly dodgy area of London.

So, what do you think? bear my soul to the parents and explain the situation or try and manage the journey on my own?

All suggestions gratefully received :)

Ok, I must add this. I don't like to come across as being too "needy" but it's about time I was honest.
At this precise moment I feel bloody useless.

[kezza08]

hiya!
if i was u i'd just explain to the parents im sure they will undrestand!
and myabe if u cant confront them, do u think there might b a lil cafe, park or somewhere where u and ur daughter can go and wait untill it is ova?
tc xxx

[ladybird64]

hiya!
if i was u i'd just explain to the parents im sure they will undrestand!
and myabe if u cant confront them, do u think there might b a lil cafe, park or somewhere where u and ur daughter can go and wait untill it is ova?
tc xxx

Hi Kezza :)

I thinik you're right, I'm just going to have to explain the situation to the parents and hope they understand.
Unfortunately, I tend to have my agoraphobic panics anywhere new so there is quite a high chance it's going to happen..however your idea of looking out for a park, cafe sounds good.
Will let you know what happens with the parents (I'm callimg them tonight!:unsure: )

Thanks X

[dianes]

Hi Ladybird:D

I agree, I would tell the parents that you are suffering with anxiety and ask if it would be o.k for you bring your other daughter. Don't feel bad about it, it is not your fault that this has happened, give yourself a big pat on the back for looking for ways to be able to get your other daughter to her party and not shying away from it and saying 'I can't take her'.

I have found it is easier not to fight the panic, try to accept the horrible symptoms and tell yourself they are 'just symptoms of anxiety and won't hurt you'. As the journey is going to be stressful, I would take your other daughter for some support.:yesyes: Good luck for the day, let us know how you get on.

:hugs: :hugs: to you.

Diane

'Remember, your imagination is aways much worse than the reality'

[icklebex]

Hi Ladybird

First of all I echo Diane S i think you should be dead chuffed you have thought of ways to cope to get your daughter to the party I think its very brave.

I think you should tell the parents, you could say 'it takes 3 buses' so by the time I leave it will be time to go back and 'im not a massive fan of tubes to be honest'

if ya get me? finding a place to go while the party is on i think is a great idea.

I remember kids parties, jelly and ice cream, are they more sophisticated these days i wonder??!

wishing you all the best, you've done great.

Bex xxx

[ladybird64]

Thanks for your support ladies, it really helped. :)

I did speak to the mum who said that she would actually prefer if we stayed at the party to supervise (she said my eldest girl was also welcome), as both our daughters have special needs.
As for the jelly and ice-cream..it's an 18th party but I wouldn't say that ice-cream is totally out of the question! :D
It is actually my youngest's 18th tomorrow but we are taking her for a meal, i have done more than my fair share of parties over the years!
and the icing on the cake (pardon the pun :blush: ) is that I only need to get one one bus to reach my destination instead of the 3 that i initially thought I would need!:yahoo:

[kezza08]

arrr well dont you!
told you they would understand,
well have loads of fun and just enjoy
take care xxx:yesyes:

[lorac]

Well done ladybird you worked the problem through and came up with a soloution that would help everyone. Hope the party goes well and you all enjoy it. Sometimes people understand more than we give them credit for and I'm sure you will be a great help to the other Mum it's always good to have an extra pair of hands.

Carol

[dianes]

Hi Ladybird:D
I was really pleased to read that the mum was so understanding and that your eldest daughter is also welcome at the party. I wish you, your daughters and friends a really good time. Let us know how it goes.:yesyes:

:hugs: :hugs: to you.

Diane
'Remember, your imagination is always much worse than the reality'

[ladybird64]

I hope nobody minds me adding a bit to this.

I am going to have to make the journey without the help of my eldest tomorrow.
Both my elderly mum and another one of my daughters have been admitted into hospital today, one at one side of the city and one at the other.
My eldest has gone to help look after her neice and thankfully my mums neighbour is going in to see my mum tonight and tomorrow, I will be going on Sunday. We are hoping that my daughter may be discharged tomorrow or Sunday.
So I have to make the journey alone tomorrow, I know it's going to be difficult as my nerves are frazzled after today but I'm determined to get there.
I've seen just how much kindness and support is here so if you could keep me in your thoughts for just a bit longer, it would mean so much.
I hope to give you some feedback and tell you everything went ok..fingers crossed!

Thanks everyone :)

[kezza08]

hiya
im sorry u have gone through this! of all times hay!
i aint gunna say its gunna b easy but u will get through this!
big hugs and good luck let us no how its went !
xxxxxx:yesyes:

[ladybird64]

Sorry this thread is getting so long but I said I would let you know how it went.

Well, I made it to the party unaccompanied, the journey was ok more or less.
Funnily enough, I felt more anxious on the return journey, probably due to the fact that we were nearly at the bus stop when the bus went whizzing past..and I realised we had to wait another 30 mins for the next one.
I did start to lose the plot a little bit after that..:scared15:

I have also made the journey to the hospital where my mum is, my daughter is now in the same hospital as it is her local one. She was discharged from the original one but then had an asthma attack and got carted off in an ambulance. I actually got the news about her as I was preparing to make the journey to see mum..I think "sky-high anxiety" kind of sums up my feeling at the time!
I'm going to give myself a wee pat on the back here because I managed to do the journey using an unknown route and didn't freak out.
I actually found the return journey more difficult..a really packed bus so we had to sit squashed at the back (my youngest was with me) and then had to push our way off. My poor girl hurt her ankle getting off (she has a disability which affects her balance) and there's me telling her to hurry up and stop making such a fuss. :blush: We had to get another bus but I had realised that we had to cross 3 BIG roads to get to the stop we needed, I think I was taking my fast-growing anxiety out on her, poor kid.
Because of her disability, she doesn't move quickly and you know how it is when the panic is building..you want to be able to move fast and I know that I can't when she is with me.
Anyway..I have to do the journey again tomorrow with my lass and have decided that I need to rethink a bit. The last journey was a success because I did it and I did it with her. If it was me alone, I'm sure I would have found some way to take a short cut but because she was with me, I couldn't.
So, I guess she made me stay and face up to my fear. :)
I will do it all again tomorrow but more slooowly (:D ) and I will NOT utter the sentence "can you get a move on!!"..wish me luck :winks: