Going backwards thanks to work!!!

[lostsoul]

Hi all

Its been a few weeks since I posted on the forum, I successfully managed to return to work on limited hours and things were going really well lots of the anxiety had subsided, then bam- I was called to a probationary meeting (as it was a new contract that I had just started before getting ill) and they dismissed me on the grounds of unsustainable sickness in the probationary period. Now I feel like I'm slipping back to square one again.

I'm starting to loose lots of sleep which only makes the problem worse. I'm in the process of going through the companies appeals process now as their own doctor confirmed to them in writing that I was convered by the disabilty discrimination act. I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.

Any tips on how to avoid returning down the slippery slope - the worst thing for me is agitation and dizzyness, which are slowley returning, these are my most unpleasant symtoms and I think the fear of them only makes them worse.

Answers on a postcard X:)

[jill]

Hi Dave, :D :hugs:

First I would like to say, WELL DONE, in getting yourself back to work, I know how hard this can be, YOU DID GREAT hun, :yesyes: be proud of yourself.

I do feel the is was soo unfair how they dismissed you hun, but I am sure things work get sorted, remember all problems have a begining, a middle and an end. The fact that you have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. This says to me, that the dismisal was sooo wrong and I feel that they will understand this, BUT, its going to take time. You hang in there, it will be sorted. :hugs:

You know at the moment your anxiety is a little high, your stressed and your thought pattens are soooo negative, Mrs anxiety is playing with you hun, DON'T let her do this to you.

**I think the fear of them only makes them worse** this is sooo true, the more we fear something, the longer it last, I know its dame hard for you, but you must try dame hard to focus, NOT on how you feel, but to look for positive pathways forward, this can be dame hard when Mrs A is about, but you must keep pushing the positives in hun.

I noticed your title, **going backwards thanks to work** I know this is going to sound harsh hun, please DON'T take effence, but we cannot and must not, blame work, on how we feel, our emotions our are own, we have to eccept how we feel, tell yourself there only doing there job ( though I know dame well its sooo unfair) tell yourself, its OK, to feel a little anxiety right now, its only natral, let it be there, if you let it be there, eccept it, keep telling yourself these feeling WILL PASS and this prob, WILL get sorted, ohh boy, Mr A does not like that, she needs us to fight her, she needs are negatives to surivive, so hun, Please don't be to hard on yourself, try dame hard to find those positive thoughts, its not easy changing the way we think, but pushing more positive in, helps us to feel better, see this problem sorted hun.

Before I came to this site, I used to say to hubby, YOU MAKE ME FEEL?, but that is sooo untrue, I let him make me feel, the way my negative thought pattens were.

Just chinking are thought pattens to more positive reasuring thoughts can help sooo much, eg, I will go through some of the things you have written,

**Now I feel like I'm slipping back to square one again** (negative)

I will never go back to square one, not on your nelly LOL (positive)

**I'm starting to loose lots of sleep which only makes the problem worse**
(negative)

I know why I am not sleeping, goodness me, its only natral, I have things on my mind, (positive)

The way you feel right now, is your feeling of not being able to cope with this situation, ohhh hun, you can cope with anything hun, you know you can, but you have to believe in yourself, believe this problem will be sorted.

Your fear of these symptoms IS fueling this hun, I know its dame hard, to stand there and say to Mrs anx AND MEAN IT, when this feelings comes on and say, GO ON, DO YOUR WORSE, I am ready, you can do what you like to me, I don't care, I have had these symptoms before and came through, soo I can do it again, soo GO ON, GIVE IT TO ME. These symptoms ARE scary hun, but you must try, DAME HARD to take the fear away, without the fear, they will go.

YOU WILL NOT, slip back to square one, tell yourself your having a blip, its all part of recovery, tell yourself this problem WILL get sorted, allow yourself to feel same anx hun, its only natral, tell yourself its ok.

I do hope things get sorted real soon for you hun :hugs:

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

[d3niro]

Hello, This is something i have had to deal with myself on the work side of it.
2 years ago i had a huge panic attack...it went on for about 2 months solid. I wasn't at work for 3 months... They called me and and tld me if i didn't come i would losse my job. My shift was only a dinner lady and 3hrs aday. I'm 30 with no children or any major commintents apart from paying my the rent on my council place.
Anyway...the fear of looseing my job took over the fear of panic to the point where i knew i had to go bk to work.... Although i totally freaked out everyday i woke to the thought of goin in. The point i'm tryin to make is.... IT REALLY IS MIND OVER MATTER. If u don't want to go down that panic state again...u WONT. trust me i know. My mind plays tricks on my EVERYDAY including now....my stomach is turning, i want to go home, i can feel me panicing....but i put my mind else where.....Even though it comes and goes...i still feel i'm gettin somewhere.
I keep reminding me self of how i was when i paniced major...and i don't like...which puts my in the mind of...I DON'T WANT TO GO BK THERE!! So i don't. Anytime i feel panicy. Go out for a nice brisk walk. do excersise. Anything to shake it off.
Good luck with that...... And i hope u get your job sorted too...x

[lostsoul]

Jill

Thank you so much for your kind reply it means alot to me. I found it really inspiring you are right fear is what fuels it - its just so damn hard when you dont sleep waking up every half an hour or so. Anti depressants dont really help and neither does Diazipam. I guess it really does just have to come from me. I know its just a blip and thats what I've got to keep telling myself!!!

I've got the double whammy of anxiety and depression, strangely I didnt feel quite so bad for the first few days after they sacked me - I put all my energy into getting my appeal together. Fortunately I've got legal cover on my contents insurance so hopefully their solicitor is going to take it on. Who knows every cloud could have a silver lining I might get a big payout considering its a big bank I worked for and everyone I've spoken to has agreed they've acted unlawfully.

Basically I was off for five months - made two attempts to return in that time and on both occassions an ambulance was called. when I did go back they agreed to extend my probationary period for one month which would have taken me to 07 July, I came back did three weeks all the hours they casked off me then they sacked me for the original time I had off. I worked for them on a different contract before this for five years without a single day sick and they wouldnt even take that into account!!!

Thanks again for your kind words I've just printed it out to keep me going.

Dave X

[HeatherMc]

so sorry for you Dave I have anxiety and depression too, it bloody stinks doesn't it mate, hope things work out for you soon

Heather

[jill]

Hi Dave :D

It must be soo hard for you not being able to sleep, waking up every half hour :hugs: I don't know much about meds and what helps promote sleep. I have only had pobs sleeping twice, once when I was acute with panic, high anxiety and the other was when having probs with hubby, both times, I eccepted it as part off what I was going through, but I have a strong memorie, I can sleep on a washing line, so my mum and dad used to say to me, so I recalled on this memorie and told myself that when the probs had passed, ohh I would go back to sleeping on the washing line LOL

**I've got the double whammy of anxiety and depression, strangely I didnt feel quite so bad for the first few days after they sacked me**

As I said, changing the way we think of things helps lots, depression, is a VERY big word to me, it gives to much importance on how I am feeling, I would use the word feel really really sad, sad cos I've lost my job, sad for them, THEY have lost a good worker, but thats only MY appinon.

You say you did not feel so bad for the first few days, hun, take a good look at what you where doing, you where distracted, soooo focust on what you were doing, you had no time to think how you felt, so what does this suggest, THAT distraction WORKS, what do you think?

It IS, THERE LOSS Dave, :hugs: they have lost a good woker, NOW, you have to focus on moving on, what to do next, spend your energies moving forward.

I am not sure what you are doing now, but how do you spend your days, are they structured, do you have things to look forward too? anything, a walk in the park, a night a the pub, ohhh anything you enjoy doing.

We can work DAME hard on our anxietys, BUT, we MUST take time to rest, do something that will distract you from how you are feeling, put a cd on, HAVE A JIG, LOL anything hun.

You remember hun, you worked dame hard for this firm, be proud of yourself for all you did for them, as I said, THERE LOSS, you have a emotional illness, (don't like to call in mental ) after all, thats what it does, messes about with our emotions and feeling.

Ohhh I know what I would be doing, spending all that money in my head, that I may get if I won the case, (which I feel YOU WILL) hehe, I did this when I was acute, I imagined I'd won the lotto and would think how to spend the money, LOL, did this everynight when I went to bed, as well had learning how to breath right.

You take care hun, please let us know how things get on regarding work, were all behind you on this hun :hugs:

LOVE JILLXX