Everything going to hell...

[Kroko]

Hello,

I feel anger, desperation, sorrow, all at the same or sometimes different time. I feel like everything is going to hell - EVERYTHING. Nothing seems to work the way I'd hope.

I'm also very afraid of the future, and I feel it's almost certain I'll die in the near future, perhaps by killing myself.

Nothing works...I really hate this...

[tattybear]

Hi Kroko..

I think we can all say that we have all felt this way and at times its so over powering it is hard to think straight and rationally.

You sound like your having a tough time, I have been where you are and although I can say that it does get better till im blue in the face:( it will probably take more than that for you to realise it - I know as I doubted it would ever get better...but hey it really does.

Have you spoken to any one friends / famiilly about how you are feeling?

Tatty B xx

[seh1980]

hello Kroko,

We all have those fears sometimes so please don't feel like you're alone. We just have to learn how to fight these awful thoughts. It sounds like you are pretty lonely - is there someone who you could talk to person to person?

Sarah :D

[Kroko]

I tried talking to my parents but they basically told me to shut up.

[tattybear]

Thats really not the kind of responce you need when your feeling like you are.

This forum is great as you can vent all your feelings, thoughts etc and there will always be someone here who will understand.

I really think you should go and visit your doctor and explain how you are feeling. They will be able to put you in touch with someone who you will be able to talk openly to and who will help you through.

Is there any other family members or friends you could also try talking to?

Tatty B xx

[LisaS]

hi Kroko,
i'm sorry you are feeling so down at the moment.. have you had a good cry.. it can make you feel a little better..
you said its almost certain you will die in the near future.. let me tell you, nothing is certain in this life. You have the strength to get through this, you do. You are a human being like the rest of us, who also go through difficult times but a basic human instinct is to survive, so I believe you will fight to do that.. and with that belief and strength you will allow yourself however much time it needs for you to feel more positive. and you will in time... concentrate on something positive, anything.. even if its a small thing.. set yourself a task for the day and strive to achieve it no matter how small it may seem.. it will give you a reason to feel that you can achieve something.. then these things will get bigger and you will feel more confident.. believe in yourself.. dont feel bad if you are having a bad time, it is not uncommon, we are all allowed to have bad days.. but maybe tomorrow will be better? we will all be here for you whenever you need..
take good care and write soon,
Lisa
xxx

[Kroko]

I'm currently in "treatment" at a psychiatric ward, but I feel worse than I did when I signed in.

I can't think of anyone else I could talk to.

[tattybear]

Its a really hard thing to be going through and a vicious circle...depression anxiety etc.

You need to believe in yourself that you can beat this.

You are in the right place to get the help and understanding that you need.

I find it hard to understand how your parents just told you to 'basically shut up' when it must be obvious that you are going through a hard time, do they know your in the psychiatric hospital??

Tatty B xx

[Kroko]

They know I'm at the psychiatric ward. I live with my parents, I'll be 21 in May.

They just don't want to talk about it.

[seh1980]

do you have no other friends or relatives you could talk to? :D

[Kroko]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">do you have no other friends or relatives you could talk to? :D

<div align="right">Originally posted by seh1980 - 23 April 2005 : 16:19:23</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Not really, no.

[tattybear]

Kroko, I find it sad that they wont try to understand what you are going through. But this could be because they are afraid because they dont understand fully . Is there no one who works at the ward you are on who would be able to have a chat with them and explain that its not somthing to be scared of? It would do them good to be able to know what your going through, and would also help you knowing that they know whats happening.

Tatty B xx

[Kroko]

I told my parents about my suicidal thoughts and they got mad at me and told me it's not good that I "threaten" them with something like that.

[tattybear]

Ok, So they need to understand that its not a threat against them, but that your going through a bad patch.

Like I said, is there not anyone from the ward who would be able to talk to them about whats going on??

Tatty B xx

[Kroko]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
Like I said, is there not anyone from the ward who would be able to talk to them about whats going on??

<div align="right">Originally posted by tattybear - 23 April 2005 : 16:31:09</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

They have, sort of. I mean my parents have talked to them more than once.

[tattybear]

People who do not go through these somtimes have a hard time trying to understand it fully, and it must be hard for them to see somone they love going thru this.

I think you will need to just be open with everyone with how you feel...and explain to the workers on the ward that you wil need there help in helping your parents accept and understand whats happening.

Tatty B xx

[seh1980]

I agree with Tatty B - if you could explain to someone at the ward about how you feel, maybe that person could have a word with your parents and that could help you in the long-run..:D