Kicked back down

[JoT]

After feeling so positive yesterday, i really felt i had turned a corner.

I had a few drinks with my beloved yesterday day to celebrate a job situation and later I payed the price, i was trying to get my wilful 5 yr old to sleep and then I fell asleep next to her. I woke with the mother of all panic attacks, heart racing, body shaking pinned to the bed with terror. I haven't had one that bad in a long time, usually lately its just been the start of one and I fight it off.

So I knew it was a pa, i calmed myself down and then woaaaah here it comes again, this went on all evening until midnight, even watching tv aggravated it, i couldnt escape. Eventually I calmed down but I was scared to go sleep so watched tv until about 2am.

Today I feel so low, exhausted, listless, pointless. I've managed to have a shower but i just want to go and sleep again. J has taken the girls to seee a movie and I wish I wanted to do things like that, I want the me back from a month ago, I thought she came back yesterday but she left me again.

I feel such a failure to my family. I have a great life, I have no reason to feel like this. I would shake myself and say 'snap out of this' if i wasn't feeling this, it must be so frustrating for my family.

I'm on day 6 of the fluoxetine so i know its early days, i just want to be normal me again.

Jo

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Jo,

Perhaps you haven't had enough time for the meds to kick in. Give it another week or so and you will feel better. I do not know why you have it or why I have it either. I do know that you are lucky if you have a good life and a support system because that will help. Try and read some of the information on the site here, that will help too. I try to take relaxing baths and listen to music when I'm up late at night, it helps me. You will find what helps you. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. If it continues, you might want to seek counseling.

Also, just a note of caution. Sometimes alcohol (for me at least) can make my anxiety much worse. Not while I have a glass or two of wine but hours later or the next morning. I'm a wreck. Heart races, the whole bit.

I also want to tell you we all have blips so some of us have good weeks and then bamo a bad day and then we are good again. Don't think you are in for another bad time, it could be just a blip.

Many hugs,

Laura

[belle]

Hope you are feeling better :)

x