Why I have been missing ...................

[trac67]

Well i guess I should explain why I havent been around for a while.

The past couple of months I have been working really hard on getting out and about again, and am now able to drive about without feeling anxious, pop into local shops by myself and even managed the garden centre, so that is all good :D

But the last couple of weeks I have been having problems with my 16 year old daughter. She went to stay at her boyfriends for 5 days, which i was fine with as he stays with us too. She rung me and said she had decided she wanted to live there, and of course I said no chance your far too young, and to say she wasnt happy is an understatement.

My eldest went there to get her and the boyfriends mother wouldnt even let my Ami into the house, and Jade was standing in the house saying how she hates us all and was never coming home :weep: what has brought this on I have no idea, when i ring the house to speak to Jade the mother puts the phone on loudspeaker so she can hear what I am saying :mad: I contacted the police who went round there to make sure she was safe for me, as I explained to them that the mother wouldnt allow us contact with Jade.

So of course this has really hurt me and my other 2 girls as the 4 of us have always been so close.

I have in the past few days managed to speak to Jade and she has agreed she will come back so she can go to college in September, but she refuses to say when.

This had really kicked my anxiety off again, and I didnt sleep for nearly a week with the worry and Ami was worried it would set me back, so I have been trying to focus on positive things so that it didnt knock me back again.

So now it is just a matter of waiting for Jade to come to her senses and realise she is better off here until she is older.

So I havent deserted NMP I just needed to take some time away to make sure I didnt end up back at the beginning again with my agoraphobia

Thanks
Love
Trac xxxxx

[debera]

aww trac sorry you are going throught a rough time right now. hope everything works out for you
love debera:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[kate]

Aww Trac, what a worry for you. Amazing how 16 year olds know everything isn't it? :mad:

Hope everything gets sorted out very soon :hugs:

Love Kate xxx

[Sax]

:doh: http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a207/orwall/hugs14.gif Oh Trac mate so sorry to hear you are having problems with Jade, I'm sure she'll come round, like you say you are all so very close, I guess she's just rebelling the only way she knows!
Hang in there mate and certainly know she is a very sensible, intelligent and logical girl therefore you don't need to worry, you have bought all of them up beautifully, they are polite and warm and a true credit to you.

Maybe she needs some space but Trac she'll be ok, please please don't let this affect you too much emotionally (I know I know so much easier said than done) but you know what I mean.

:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

[bottleblond]

Trac

I'm really really really sorry to hear this. I think the boyfriends mother is being very silly indeed, she should be woking with you on this one, not against you!!

It will be a bit of a novilty for Jade at the moment being the adult, and i really don't mean that sarcasticly, but once she realises that things won't be the same or in any way easy leading the independant life, i'm sure she will be home.

Hang in there Trac as i'm sure it won't be too long for the "home bug" kicks in!!

love and hugs

Lisa
xxxx

[Pink Panic]

Hi Trac,

So sorry to hear what you have been going through :hugs:

My own daughter took up with an older bloke when she was 16 then decided she was going to spend every weekend living with him which rapidly progressed to include some days in the week too. To say i wasn't happy was an understatement and there were many, many rows which set my anx/agro off again. In the end she decided that she hated living by my rules and moved in with my parents when she wasn't with the boyfriend!!! This wasn't ideal but neither was the way we were arguing.
Eventually she came to her senses and asked to live with me again as she realised what a mistake she was making. The thing is that at that age they seem to know it all and there's no telling them ..... which i'm sure you know. The hardest thing is to just let time pass and Jade will come back to you ... i'm sure of it. Just let her know that you are there for her and always will be.
My daughter is 19 now and lives away at Uni and is dating a Doctor and our relationship is better than ever. Kids eh????

Love & Hugs
Pink
xxx:hugs:

[Southern_Belle]

:bighug1: Trac,

First of all a huge congratulations for all the getting out and about you have been doing. What a difference you have made in your life!

Second, the hardest job on earth is being a Mother. I know being a Father is difficult too but we give birth and are the main caretakers most of the time. In your situation you are very close and I think that is why you are so hurt. She will come back Trac, you raised her well. She is showing some independence and although it hurts it is part of growing up. You know deep down she does not hate you. I'm sure she feels just awful for saying those words and will tell you as much when she gets home.

As I read this what I see as the main problem is his mother and I honestly don't know why she is keeping herself in the middle of this issue. Perhaps she has been jealous of her son wanting to spend so much time at your house? It still doesn't matter though, what she has done is wrong. When things settle down and Jade is back home I would try and get her boyfriend to come to your house as much as possible and keep her away from there. Please hang in there and I am so proud of you for keeping the agoraphobia under control. You are such a strong woman and mother Trac. In my eyes you have handled this wonderfully. No-one could have done it better.

Love and many hugs,

Laura

[yorkylover]

http://www.zwani.com/graphics/hugs/images/67777.gif
:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

[eeyorelover]

HIya Trac :)
First off I'm SUPER proud of you for getting out and about!!
And driving???
WOW girl!!
You're doing so well!

Now about your daughter.
I have a son who did the same thing when he was 17.
He fell in love and somewhere along the way I lost all credibility cuz you know that 17 year olds know absolutely everything and we just get dumber as they get older!!
LOL

Anyway - he is 22 now and says to me all the time that he wishes we would have listened to me!
GO FIGURE!!!

Teenagers are the pits!!!
It's a fact.
And eventually yours will come around and see what's right.
Unfortunately until then you will just have to join me in the gray haired waiting on our kids to get out of the shitty teen years club!
We can make up a secret handshake and everything :)

If I was over there I'd take you out for a few drinks and we could call the other Mom and tell her what a butthole she is!!!!

Heck
give me her number and I'll call her from here!!!
PMSL

LUV YA!!!!!!!
xxx
Sandy

[Lynnann]

Hi Trace,

Well done for getting out and about, super pleased for you on your recovery.

As for your daughter, I think it is a phase that a lot of teenagers go through at around that age. my friends daughter has been putting her through similar times.

I know you will sort this out, might take a little while but I know you will get there.

Just a thought, would she agree to family counselling to help resolve whatever she sees as the problem?

Hugs for you
Lynnann

[dawny]

trac,

i dont have to say im proud of you, cause you should already know.....if it werent for your diary thread, i dont know were id be......xxxxxx
keep going hun, even though id imagine all this crap will not help, but don't give in.

im appalled at the boyfriends mother, what the hell is she thinking.......
.....but trace, your daughter is an impressionable teenager, believe me she will see sense, so try not too worry, she will come home....xxxx

take care and stop worrying

love and cuddles

dawny x

[Nibbles]

Hi Trac,

You know how proud I am of you but that doesn't stop me from saying it again! :D The way you've tackled things over the last few months takes so much courage and is really inspirational. :hugs:

You love your girls to bits and vice versa. Jade will come round and you'll be ironing her clothes again before you know it lol! I know it must be worrying for you and the boyfriend's mum is being... a muppet to put it politely! :D Don't let it come in the way of the progress you're making because it will all work out in the end I'm sure of it. :hugs:


:bighug1: http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t73/LadyLunaSea/More%20Animated%20Gifs/hugs_hugging2.gif:bighug1:

Take care,

Mike x

[leo05]

hi trac

well done on getting out n about n hugs for ya n always here for ya

take care

lea xx

[Dee01]

I cant believe that mother. What is she thinking??????? Hugs to you. Be strong. Don't let this set you back. Your daughter will come around.

[Piglet]

I don't think there is a parent in the land who would say guiding your kids through the teenage years is easy (I've shed more than the odd tear on occasion too) and it seems even harder when you have to do it single handedly.

I agree with the others about the boyfriends mum - not cricket is that!!!!:lac: :mad: .

This will get sorted mate as all these situations do and in the meantime just breath slowly and remember what a good mum you are ok! :hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[mirry]

wish I could give some advise , but my son is 14 now and becoming quite a challange himself . But I think I would say how sorry i am that this has happened and then stand back and let it go the way its gonna go .
Seems the more we try to stop them, the more they go they go against us .

It will come out in the wash Trac - just look after yourself.

[alexis]

Hi Trac, nice to see you back, Im sure things will come right in the end, I had no end of trouble with my daughter but now she is 24 and lovely, at the time I was told to be patient and she would come right, she came right, but I wasnt patient lol, take care.xx

[kazzie]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Trac

Kaz x

[lorac]

Hi Trac

Firstly well done for all your achievements you have done really well and should be so proud of yourself.

As for your daughter, been there and done that with my eldest and can understand the hurt and worry you are going through. All I can say is keep your chin up and look after yourself coz she will be back, they always know that Mum is there when they need her and from what I know of you you are a great Mum. I send you loads of hugs coz I really do know what you feel like with this one and can assure you things will get better. My daughter is now 21 and even today has just returned home after another rocky relationship and when it all goes wrong she knows where to find Mum. The only advise I can give you is don't beat yourself up or even question what you have done wrong coz these things just happen.

I wish you luck and hope she returns soon Trac.

Love
Carol
xxxxxx

[Granny Primark]

Big big :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: trace,
Ive tried to explain to my kids that when you get in a relationship you cant guarantee that its forever. But what you will always be able to guarantee is that your mum will always be there for you. Its very rare a mum turns her back on her kids no matter what they do.
Trace you must now try and focus on how well youve been doing and not let the trouble with your daughter to knock you back.
Loads of good wishes

[manmoor]

For Trac and her girls :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: You know where I am if you need a rant hun :flowers: xxxx

[scoobygirl2005]

Hi Trac

I wondered why I hadn't heard from you for a while, am sorry to hear about Jade, am sure things will get better soon, just keep being positive and try not to let it get you down, you have been doing really well, am sure Jade will realise that she should be at home and she will come home soon.

Scoobygirl2005
x

[SAMKIRMAN]

hi trac just read your post big hugs to you text me please dropped my phone down toilet so lost your number my number is the same always here for you

[trac67]

Thankyou everyone for the hugs and the advice.

Jade didnt come home for my birthday yesterday but she did send a card through the post, I am just hoping things will run their course and she will miss me and her sisters enough to decided she wants to come home.

I have always been so lucky with my girls as they have never given me any trouble, Jade just seems to have been easily led in all of this.

Thanks all once again

Love

Trac xxxx

[milly jones]

hunny

its such a rough job being a parent isnt it? theres no manual of right answers.

my son is only 11 so we are just at the start of the testing stage. all i hope is that i have the courage to let him fly, cos if i clip his wings he may not come back.

really big hugs to u hunny

and as to the anxiety, well u sound like ur making good progress, and even if there are blips, u can do it again, with help from ur family and nmp,

take care

milly xxx

[Southern_Belle]

(((Trac))),

I want you to know I'm thinking about you. She is just being stubborn. At it is probably a we vs. them attitude right now. She does love you and the card proves it. She will eventually come to her senses. You hang in there and everything will be alright.

Love and many hugs,

Laura

[Granny Primark]

trac just want to give you some :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
So sorry your daughter didnt come home for your birthday.
Im sure one day your daughter will realise what a brill mum she has and regret the things she is doing at the moment.
I truly understand what you are feeling at the moment.