Alone

[vernon]

All alone (without wife) for first time in years and I am really anxious. As u know every thing I do and go its always with my wife or kids. My son has driven my wife to Preston today as he is old poorly and in hospital and has no family near him to visit or take him things he needs in. Its about 180 miles from here. She has popped to shops etc before but only been alone for short times. I have been nervous and anxious all weekend knowing they where going today but its only until later on tonight. My youngest son hasn’t gone but he is out at friends he stayed over last night and probs wont see him today. I put a Sunday dinner on, roast, 3 veg's and Yorkshire puds for something to do. Even if kids where here it’s not the same as wife being here I feel horrid, tight chest (but chest has been funny for days maybe smoking to much). I am much better than I was 12 months ago but far from better as this not liking being alone is horrid. I know now when wife gets back I have to try and do more things alone and apart from each other more. I don’t think I could even go to local store without her but I could go alone if I knew she was here. Good strong love and being great friends is good but I think too much isn’t good for us with anxiety? Does anyone else feel this bad when someone really close is away like only a full day? Even scary lol. Thanks all. Vernon

PS stupid dog is left with me lol

[florence]

Hi Vern

Sorry to hear about you feeling bad, sounds like you suffer with monophobia (fear of being alone) , trust me I ve been there so many times. Nothing wrong is gonna happen to you tho.
Take care.

Florence.

**A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.**

[vernon]

thanks flo. Its not so much being alone but house without wife lol

[florence]

Sorry for asking, what is it then?
Anything in particular?



Flo.x

**A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.**

[sue447]

hi vern,
ive always hated being on my own during the day,worse now with anxiety etc.. my chap is working nights at present, so im quite anxious when hes gone, i hate it, worse in the evening, cause i cant ring anyone, and i feel really isolated, i always play on the kids playstation in the wee hrs, until i eventually drop off,it helpes me a bit
take care luv sue x

[LisaS]

Hi Vernon,
Sorry you are feeling anxious.. My hubby goes out to work during the week and I am at home alone. I have only just got used to it, but I used to grab onto him and beg him not to leave me. I used to get a friend to do a changeover with him so she would be with me while he was at work and we would go and do little things together like go to the local shop or post office.. do you have a friend you could do this with? maybe while your wife is at home first of all.. then gradually build up and the more confident you get, the more you will be able to achieve. I have kind of cheated though as I bought 2 cats last week so I wouldn't feel quite so alone!! But I know when I potter into town to do something menial and come back I feel so damn pleased with myself!
good luck,
Lisa
p.s. the roast sounds lovely!!

[lainey]

Hi Vern

You ok mate. I'm the oppsite to you, I love day with no one around. You seem a lot better than you were and you will get through this, when are they coming back?
Can I come around for Sunday dinner please?

Take care

Elaine x

[vernon]

Flo i am lost lol (Sorry for asking, what is it then?
Anything in particular?) what is what flo take care xx

Thanks all. and yes lanie plenty of dinner here. they will be back tonight.

[kate]

Awwww Vern, hope you are doing ok.

Have you got a good film to watch or maybe something else that you can really get absorbed in so that the time will fly past?

At least the doggy hasn't deserted you! [^]

Love Kate x

[loulou]

Hi Vern,

I'm the same as you well sort of i live at home with my parents and when i know they are going on holiday i get anxious but am ok after a few days i even get like it if my aunt goes on holiday when i was younger i hated my neighbours going on hoilday now thats wierd so your not alone. My sister who i'm very close to as gone away for the weekend this weekend with her family and her husbands family and i've really missed them even though i'm at home with my parents maybe its the combination of my sister and my aunts gone to her caravan for the weekend so double blow. i know how you feel its horrble and u feel soo stupid i hate being this dependent on other people actually i think i'm going to mention this to my cbt therapist when i see her on friday. hopefully you will feel better soon can i ask have you always been like this or is recent cause i hope i'm not like this forever one of my most fears which makes me depressed is that i'll be alone when i'm older.

Lisa

[seh1980]

aaaawwww poor Vern!! I am the same Vern. I hate it when Ed isn't here as I can't stand being alone. Don't know what I'm going to do when he gets a job. Hope you are ok!! :D

[carlin]

Hi Vernon,
You have saved my day once again, my whole lot have gone to my youngest son's cup final (footie) i couldn't go, cos of the way i am, i feel awful.. all of the old anxiety has come back, i couldn't sleep for days, i am on my own so much of the time, but today, firstly i felt guilty not going (had loads of excuses) and secondly, i cannot get them back quickly if i need to (i don't norm ally but cos i can't i feel so scared. Forgive me vernon, for going on about myself, but when i read your post, it made me cry, i feel so alone, and scared too, although i know we'll both be fine..as usual. As for going shops, i'm exactly the same, if someone is at home, i can manage, some days, to go to my local shop, how weird is that, I can not believe that 'cos i'm on my own i can feel so bad why? as i have said, i spend most of my time alone, hubby works nights and the kids all do their own things anyway, gosh i'm sorry to have gone on xxxx

[florence]

Vern,

you said that its not being alone that you fear most, so i asked what is it that you fear, thats all.

Regards.
Florence.x

**A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.**

[sueiamnew]

Hello Vern,
I always feel anxious when alone....the minute the door shuts i can feel it coming on.
I worry what will happen if i fall really ill and there's no-one around.
You will be fine today!!!
Take care.

[vernon]

thanks all I agree with most i think its the fear: what iff's again as we think we might get ill.

Flo i meant scared alone without wife mostly, If the kids are with me even though they are all teens and older it dont comfort me like wife being here.

[florence]

OK I understand a bit better now. thanks. :)

Take care.
Florence.

**A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.**

[henri]

hey vern,
is your wife back now?
i know exactly what you mean - i get so nervous when my boyfriend goes out for longer than around half an hour. it doesn't help having other people round, i just want him around because he knows how to deal with me and he makes me feel safe. i know i also get scared that i'll start feeling unwell and he won't be here to help etc.
my way of dealing with it is to try and do stuff without him while he's at home, like going to the supermarket or post office or whatever. but i don't really know what the solution is!
hope you are feeling better,
henri x

[kairen]

hi vern hun,

you know the answers to your own questions and what u have to do about it, give yourself a bit more credit, i think you are doing great mate cos u know what u need to do, you have the right ideas just put them into practice xxx big hug

kairen x