Driving up the A1

[nomorepanic]

I just realised tonight whilst driving home up the A1 that I just did it and never even thought about panic/anxiety!!

For all of you who know me or have read "My Story" on the web site you will know that this has been a BIG problem for me for years.

Perhaps I have suddenly realised that I can do this drive with no panic when I stop thinking about it.

Anyway I thought I would start off our POSITIVE things topic :D

Nicola

[Laurie28]

Well done Nic,

It's great that you didn't even think about it!!

Love
Lucky

[benoo5]

your doing well nic,

big open roads dont appeal to me much either!

as meg always says,if you face your fear over,and over again,it becomes just an irritation,and no longer a fear.

keep up the good work....bryan xxx.

[Meg]

Hurrah !!!!!!!!Well done Nic.

Meg

[nomorepanic]

Thanks Lucky, Meg and Bryan for the support. I still have a long way to go with the driving but I did manage to sit in a traffic queue the other day and not panic or call Alex.

Isn't it weird that such stupid little things that everyone else takes for granted are major milestones in our lives :-)

Nicola

[twister]

Well done Nic!

:D

Emily

[RobertFlyde]

Speaking of Driving.....Ive just overcome a massive hurdle. Ive just been on holiday to Scotland with my partner Kelly and drove over 1200 miles over a week. That’s the furthest ive driven for nearly 2 years. I didn’t panic once. We went as far as Inverness and Loch Ness etc (No Nessie was not about!!!). On the first day i drove 300 miles from our house north of Leeds to East kilbride. Then up to Fort William and then across to Perth. Then i drove from Perth back down to Leeds. All in All im very proud of myself!!!!!!!!!

Take Care


Robert

[Laurie28]

Well done Robert!!!

I couldn't have done that and I haven't got a problem with driving!!!

Take Care
Lucky

[Meg]

Superb news Robert. Well done indeed !!

Have you anything else to resolve having cracked that one now ?

Meg

[benoo5]

robert,

that is no mean feast..you should do a seperate post..as this is a success story..dont hide it under a bushel..well done...bryan.

[RobertFlyde]

The last thing ive got to do is to get a secure job. Im doing bits and bobs for people etc. Computer work, helping family out etc. I just need to secure a 9-5 job and then i think ive cracked everything i thought i was afraid of!!!

I will do a seperate post on the success story ASAP.

Take care

Robert

[nomorepanic]

Nice one Robert.

Did you used to panic whilst driving quite a lot?

Nicola

[RobertFlyde]

No i never had a PA or problems driving untill 2 years ago when i had my first panic attack at the wheel. it was when i was driving home from work at 23.00 one night on the M1. I lived in Luton at the time and my job was a bit too stressful. It took me a while to drive again after that incident as i didnt know why it was happening.

I used to travel up and down the motorway between Luton and Leeds 2 to 3 times a month and had no problems etc.....This was when i was a student,so a little less stressful than working etc More play and less work if you know what i mean!!!

Robert

[Lottie32]

Well done Nicola!

That should make coming home for Xmas easier. I too hate the bad weather, and living about three million feet above sea level it's very easy to panic each morning due to ice/sleet/snow.

The stupid thing is, it's not the physical act of driving that bothers me, it's actually travelling any distance - I want to get there yesterday, and other road users in bad weather hitting me. I know I'm in control of my car!

I have also been known to drive 10 miles round to avoid a three minute queue of traffic!!!

Do you find you cope easier if you have somebody to phone? I have tried to avoid bringing anybody else into my panics/anxieties, cos I'm really worried that if they are not there one day I won't be able to do it? Has that every happened to you? If so, how did you cope? My friend Janet keeps offering to come to the dentist with me, but I keep refusing.

Charlie

[nomorepanic]

Robert

Mine started in the car too and 10 years on I am getting there but still find it hard going.

I am like Charlie and will take a detour rather than sit in traffic or road-works.

I rely on Alex been there so I can call him at anytime on his mobile. If he is unavailable I could try my sister but I am not sure how much help she would be - just a voice to talk to makes me feel better. The last time I had to call Alex was over a month ago when I got stuck in road works and that was bad!

I am desperately trying to get a car-kit now cos the new law is in force next week so I will be without a phone. I know I can pull over and use it but the times I tend to need it are when there is nowhere to pull over which is why I am panicking in the first place!

Nicola

[bishop]

hi nic
well done sorry ive not been in lately my computers up the spout there are too many drivers on the road who need too take their test again no lights speeding not stopping at give way signs you have too be a mimd reader to find out what they are doing.
bish

[Laurie28]

Cahrlie,

I see what u are saying about not wanting to rely on someone in case they are not there!!

My CBT therapist says that is a safety mechanism and you should cut them all out so not starting in the 1st place would be easier (does that make sense)
unfortunetly i am holding onto all my safety nets just to make it though the day!!

love
Lucky

[Lottie32]

Lucky

That is what I thought. She is encouraging me to face things "naked", figuratively, not literally of course!

I'm not even allowed to take my box of pills out with me. I never take them, just carry them around, so I know they are there!

The only thing I won't do is leave the house without a packet of handy andys. But I think thats just practical - you never know when you might get caught short. Generally I am managing to do this, but I must admit, I have regressed on the odd occassion, and took a whole ****nal of herbal and classified prescription drugs with me when I went to see the dentist. (Bizarrely, apart from 2 charcoal tablets, I never took one of them - and now I've been for the 3rd and final time, I know I shall be able to face my check up in May "unpilled")!!

I still can't go anywhere without driving myself though - but it's a start - at least I am going out now!!!!

Love

Charlie

[nomorepanic]

Charlie

I am the same about driving - I need to be in control but then I panic driving too!

I think we are control freaks - lol

I allow Alex to drive me cos I trust him but I hate everyone else's driving.

I now have a taxi to look forward to at the weekend - great!!

Nicola

[Lottie32]

Taxi?

I wouldn't dare (yet!)

You are right about the control though. I have got an induction booked at the gym tomorrow afternoon, and I'm dreading it.

I don't really want to go (hate exercising indoors), but I know that getting fitter will help, so I'm going to start going, but I am dreading the induction. For a whole hour, I've got to do what somebody else tells me. I have to keep slapping myself, cos I keep thinking of excuses incase I need to run out. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO.

Since being involved with this site I have discovered that I suffer a great deal of anticipatory anxiety, and also have issues with not being in complete control of my actions.

All I need to do is stop worrying, and step back and let others take charge. Easy peasy! (But I will get there)


Charlie

[RobertFlyde]

Taxi are terrible. Over the summer i was in one and felt horrible as soon as i got in... luckily i had a few pints and was going Into Leeds, but i still had emense anxiety. The 10 miles into Leeds from where i live was very Long. I was ok on the way back, probably because i was drunk and never thought about having a PA or was anxious.

Im an awful passenger in the car, the worst time was when i went out with my girlfrinds parents for a meal because i was sat in the front and i thought her dad was going to crash as he wasnt breaking in time for a car in front, so i shouted and grabbed the steering wheel, luckily we stopped just before the car in front. Looking back it was quite amusing and everytime we meet up we laugh about it etc, but ive never done it since!!!!!!!!!!


Robert

[benoo5]

robert,

i had to laugh at your post,because my ex had the same driving technique,she would drive much too fast,and then brake at the last minute..being a passenger in her car,you would never be constipated.

bryan.

[Meg]

Nic - with your taxi....

Try to understand what you're really afraid of happening in this taxi.. an accident, getting lost , fear of fear ??

Then rationalize it as much as possible - what are the realistic risks of these things happening or not ?

What risk management strategies can you put in place ?

When all that is done - you can do no more - so you will need to trust the driver.

Scaring him will not help your situation.

Alex is with you and will keep vigilant too.

If you need to , lie down on the back seat with your head in Alex's lap- if you're not too drunk or if you are , depending on how you feel or just close your eyes and keep repeating something like - it will be fine- until you get there.

It's about recognising that we cannot individually have control every minute of every day and others can and need to be trusted too.

I hate how Gary drives too close to the car in front and I just resorted to closing my eyes and gritting my teeth - frequently - and accepting how we are all different - and then if I had to say/shout something if I thought he was really dangerous ( mostly he already knew) , he took it better than hearing it every day.

I know Gary thinks I drive too fast on motorways -(he's right too) but he only points it out if there are cameras, as I too would get used to it and take no notice.

These days I just put myself in the lap of the gods and am still here completely unscathed and he drives with more distance !! Hurrah.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

quote:Originally posted by Radar

If you need to , lie down on the back seat with your head in Alex's lap- if you're not too drunk or if you are , depending on how you feel or just close your eyes and keep repeating something like - it will be fine- until you get there.

Meg I had to laugh at this - can you imagine what the taxi driver would think I was doing! ;)

Seriously though my fear is related to speed. I hate the feeling of speed which is why I drive slowly and so does Alex when he drives me. I always find that taxi drivers in particular are so desperate to get onto the next job they just rush everywhere. I get a horrible feeling of just going too fast. I hate anything at funfairs too cos of the same feeling.

I know that I can tell him to slow down but they rarely take notice or care.

Thanks for the advice though - it will be a challenge for me but one that I could do without on a night out for an xmas party.

Will let you know how it goes though.

Nicola

[Meg]

Nic,


Ok, so what is it about speed scares you - whats are your images, thoughts that do the scaring ?

Or could the fear of speed be a throw back to when you were so dizzy and it made it worse ?

Meg

[sarah]

Hi Nic

You could always stuff your jacket up your top and tell the taxi driver you are pregnant and feel sick with too much motion...lol

Sarah
xx

[nomorepanic]

Hi all

Well I managed to avoid the taxi. We decided to walk cos it was only 10 mins and I was feeling a bit panicky about the taxi. I did say "yes lets go for it" but we couldn't find one and we were running late so we decided to walk anyway.

It chucked it down and I turned up at the party looking like a drowned rat!!

My shoes rubbed one of my heels so that was bleeding - what a mess.

A couple of taxis overtook us and they were going b****y fast so I am glad I avoided it!!
Walked home drunk and today I am suffering like mad from a hangover.

On a more positive side though, I went up the A1 fiday night and there was an accident and I couldn't avoid it or get off - so it was great therapy. Meg was waiting for this to happen to me.

I coped, I felt anxious but no real panic and I was pleased I did it - onwards and upwards eh?

Nicola

[twister]

that's good Nic. You're like me you have to wait for the traffic jams, I have to wait for the train to stop in the tunnel. Not wanting it to but knowing it should if I want to get better!

Emily

[nomorepanic]

I don't want to ruin this sucess post but it was appropriate to post here rather than start a new thread.

I just wanted to point something out ....

I have not been well this week - I got bitten on the face by an insect and I react badly and it has gone all infected and has made me feel quite sick and dizzy. I guess that is just the poison.

Anyway I was not atall panicky but just feeling dizzy and when I drove up the A1 I did start to feel panicky. This goes to prove that illness can also make you feel panicky when you are faced with situations that you panic in normally.

Just something to bear in mind.

Nicola

[Matt]

Hi nic!:)

Sorry to hear about the insect bite:(

Take it easy chat to u soon;)

Matt:)