RobinM
06-07-08, 17:18
Not sure if anyone will remember me as I've only posted a few times, but about 2 years ago I had major issues with panic, to the point that I walked out of my job and went on the sick for 18 months.
The doctors said there was nothing wrong with me, which just made it worse, as I couldn't eat, constantly had indigestion and as a result, felt sick and tired all the time.
Basically, the cause of my panic attacks is emetophobia, so the constant feeling sick wasn't helping :roflmao:
Anyway, a friend of mine offered me a job, so after much deliberation, I went for it hoping that it would solve the problem (I'd been feeling better for a while, so thought it was about time, this was the least stressful option too as there was no interview involved and I knew all of the staff already)
I've been there since February now without too much of a problem, I've had the odd attack now and then, mainly when I knew I had to deal with an irate customer, but I could count the attacks on one hand.
Then a couple of weeks I had a panic attack at the side of the M25 on the way to Dartford whilst collecting my new car, I could feel myself getting more and more worked up on the way down the M1, then when we hit the M25, I had to ask my mate to pull over, I got out of the car and stood in a field for about an hour.
The Police came and asked if we'd broken down, I thought I'd be witty and say "well, the car hasn't, but I have a bit" but that didn't seem to go down too well....
We drove to the next services and I relaxed for about an hour (we were already late by now anyway but it didn't matter) then I drove the rest of the way without drama as I'd got something to focus on.
So, with the car collected, I drove all the way back from Dartford to my house without panicking, that's a massive achievement, before I wouldn't have even been able to get in the car to drive to the nearest town, let alone 60 miles or so to somewhere I'd never been to before.
I think the reason behind the panic attack on the way down was that I'd got myself convinced I was going to have one, then without having anything to concentrate on, I though it into reality.
The odd thing is that a few weeks before that, I'd driven down to Maidstone with the same friend to collect something for him and not had a panic attack, on exactly the same route, same car, same time, everything.
However, since then, I've been having panic attacks more regularly, I've had 3 days off work in 2 weeks and every night before I drive home, I start to get wound up and 'expect' to have a panic attack on the way home, about 15 minutes before I leave work, I'm a mess.
I've also been struggling to sleep, which I don't think is helping, I get home at about 6:45, go to bed at around 10 and most nights it's about half 1 before I'm asleep, which means I'm getting 5 hours sleep a day, I also regularly wake up in panic, with a dry mouth, stuggling to swallow and being on the verge of being sick (or so I think, even though it's not happened)
I've also been struggling to eat, which I think is to do with the tiredness, for the past few months I've not finished a meal, whereas when I was younger, I could eat for England, hence my concern over my health.
I've been back to the doctors, as I don't want a repeat of before, once again, they've said there's nothing wrong, even though one half of my ribs protrude more than the other, which is on the side I was having the indigestion type pains months ago, clearly something is swollen there, but they seem to know my body better than me.
I REALLY don't want to fall back into the cycle of life I was in before, it wasn't much fun, but the events of the past few weeks are very similar to how it started back then.
Already, I'm back to having no social life, a few months ago I could manage going to the pub with my brother, but now, I get home in the evening and can't face anything, I even had to get someone else to fill my car up with petrol the other day as I couldn't face the petrol station.
This obviously is having an impact on my self esteem, I feel like I've got no friends, most of them are at uni so I rarely see them anyway, but when they are back I can't face going out so miss them then too. Even the ones I kept in contact with on the internet seem to have lost interest.
I feel really rubbish today, I've had a crap week and today I have a headache, indigestion and already I can't be bothered with work tomorrow, I'm expecting to have a hard time sleeping tonight, which will mean that I'm shattered tomorrow and for the rest of the week.
What can I do to break this cycle and how can I actually prove to the doctors that there's something wrong with me?
Sorry if that's a bit disjointed, I just wrote it as it came into my head, it's probably not in a brilliant order.
Robin
The doctors said there was nothing wrong with me, which just made it worse, as I couldn't eat, constantly had indigestion and as a result, felt sick and tired all the time.
Basically, the cause of my panic attacks is emetophobia, so the constant feeling sick wasn't helping :roflmao:
Anyway, a friend of mine offered me a job, so after much deliberation, I went for it hoping that it would solve the problem (I'd been feeling better for a while, so thought it was about time, this was the least stressful option too as there was no interview involved and I knew all of the staff already)
I've been there since February now without too much of a problem, I've had the odd attack now and then, mainly when I knew I had to deal with an irate customer, but I could count the attacks on one hand.
Then a couple of weeks I had a panic attack at the side of the M25 on the way to Dartford whilst collecting my new car, I could feel myself getting more and more worked up on the way down the M1, then when we hit the M25, I had to ask my mate to pull over, I got out of the car and stood in a field for about an hour.
The Police came and asked if we'd broken down, I thought I'd be witty and say "well, the car hasn't, but I have a bit" but that didn't seem to go down too well....
We drove to the next services and I relaxed for about an hour (we were already late by now anyway but it didn't matter) then I drove the rest of the way without drama as I'd got something to focus on.
So, with the car collected, I drove all the way back from Dartford to my house without panicking, that's a massive achievement, before I wouldn't have even been able to get in the car to drive to the nearest town, let alone 60 miles or so to somewhere I'd never been to before.
I think the reason behind the panic attack on the way down was that I'd got myself convinced I was going to have one, then without having anything to concentrate on, I though it into reality.
The odd thing is that a few weeks before that, I'd driven down to Maidstone with the same friend to collect something for him and not had a panic attack, on exactly the same route, same car, same time, everything.
However, since then, I've been having panic attacks more regularly, I've had 3 days off work in 2 weeks and every night before I drive home, I start to get wound up and 'expect' to have a panic attack on the way home, about 15 minutes before I leave work, I'm a mess.
I've also been struggling to sleep, which I don't think is helping, I get home at about 6:45, go to bed at around 10 and most nights it's about half 1 before I'm asleep, which means I'm getting 5 hours sleep a day, I also regularly wake up in panic, with a dry mouth, stuggling to swallow and being on the verge of being sick (or so I think, even though it's not happened)
I've also been struggling to eat, which I think is to do with the tiredness, for the past few months I've not finished a meal, whereas when I was younger, I could eat for England, hence my concern over my health.
I've been back to the doctors, as I don't want a repeat of before, once again, they've said there's nothing wrong, even though one half of my ribs protrude more than the other, which is on the side I was having the indigestion type pains months ago, clearly something is swollen there, but they seem to know my body better than me.
I REALLY don't want to fall back into the cycle of life I was in before, it wasn't much fun, but the events of the past few weeks are very similar to how it started back then.
Already, I'm back to having no social life, a few months ago I could manage going to the pub with my brother, but now, I get home in the evening and can't face anything, I even had to get someone else to fill my car up with petrol the other day as I couldn't face the petrol station.
This obviously is having an impact on my self esteem, I feel like I've got no friends, most of them are at uni so I rarely see them anyway, but when they are back I can't face going out so miss them then too. Even the ones I kept in contact with on the internet seem to have lost interest.
I feel really rubbish today, I've had a crap week and today I have a headache, indigestion and already I can't be bothered with work tomorrow, I'm expecting to have a hard time sleeping tonight, which will mean that I'm shattered tomorrow and for the rest of the week.
What can I do to break this cycle and how can I actually prove to the doctors that there's something wrong with me?
Sorry if that's a bit disjointed, I just wrote it as it came into my head, it's probably not in a brilliant order.
Robin