sorry to be so morbid!

[ceecee]

hi everyone
my health anxiety at the mo is at an all time high
this time last year i had the all clear from an mri of my brain(which i thank my lucky stars for!!!!!!!)
after this i started to feel really sick most days and therefore came to the conclusion i have ovarian cancer(my doctor looked at me as though i have got 2 heads when i told her this!!!!)
on friday my very close friend told me that her sister in law has really took a turn for the worst :weep: and has gone into a hospice(she has terminal cancer):weep:
she is only 37 and leaves behind her 2 lovely girls ,her youngest being only 1.
but what i think i,m trying to ask is whether any of you who suffer from health anxiety wonder about things that are quite morbid,like i can always imagine seeing my name in the obituaries(i think thats what it,s called)or imagining how my children would cope without me
i,m so sorry if i sound so depressing i really do love life and thats why i,m afraid of anything happening to me i would hate to have to leave my children when they are still growing up
just was wondering whether anyone else has had these thoughts

[Anna78]

Hi cee cee

Please dont feel like youre on youre own. Im really sorry to hear about youre friend.

My health anxiety only started this year my mum died of cancer in January. W e only found out she had cancer 2 weeks before she died. I never suffered from panic and anxiety before this. I think when things like this happen it makes you relise how fragile life is. I had a brain scan as i thought i had a tumour. I was convinced i was haveing a heart attack and called an ambulance turned out it was a panic attack.

I constantly worry about what will happen to my girls if anything happens to me. i always said if anything happened to me my mum would take the girls.

Please dont feel like youre on youre own if you ever need to chat please pm me even if you want to have a good rant

Anna xx

[ceecee]

oh anna i,m so sorry that you have lost your mum i can,t imagine how you must be feeling
thankyou so much for your reply it does help to know that we are not alone
have you talked to your doctor about your health anxiety?
i,m sure that if you asked for some kind of therapy, you may be able to get it,as i,m sure you have found it really tough to go through the last few months
thinking of you

[Anna78]

Thanks ceecee

I have never been away from the doctors over the last few months convinced i was going to die however i have started meds and feel loads better in myself. But i also have the same fears as you about not wanting to leave the kids and worry about them. I bet we look back at these emails in 30 years time and wonder what the hell we worrying about. Ha ha

Chin up hun bad things that happen make you appreciate the good things in life

If you ever what a chat pm me

Anna xx
:hugs:

[Alisonj]

Mine also started after the death of my father. I was 14, events like that can truly make you anxious

[Anna78]

Hi Alison

sorry about youre dad. It is really strange how anxiety and panic affects you. I was always the stronger one out of my sister and me and never ever thought anxeity would affect me.

Im so glad I found this website

Hope you are ok

Anna x

[joyce1980]

Mine turned into health anxiety after my 27 year old brother died of epilepsy

I guess the brain can't cope.

What a pattern I can see, still doesn't make it better though I am affraid

Lets all keep plugging on !!! medication has really helped too

[worriedGrace]

I can remember looking at my son through my tears and wondering how he would cope after my death which I thought was any day. Now he is 28 and long gone from home and I wonder why I wasted so much time worrying.
I'm still not cured though because last year during a bad episode I went through my husband's wardrobe picking the suit he would wear to my funeral and making sure his black tie was hung up with it. Sometimes I am obsessed with reading the obituary columns in the newspaper and comparing ages and wondering what they all died of and whay were the symptoms.

[Nemo]

Hi, I'm the same. I look at obituary columns and study the ages. During a particular health anxiety phase I think about the worse and what will happen if I go. When I was single my health anxiety wasnt as bad is it is now that I have a loving husband and child. My early life was unsettled with family separation, and a therapist suggested recently that the fear of loosing what I love is coming out in different ways, health anxiety one of them. Im trying to address this fear with homeopathy. I hope you feel better soon.