pele33
07-07-08, 22:32
Hi my name is Jason i am 33yrs old. I have been suffering horrendous panic attacks now for approx 18 months. I was diagnosed with panic disorder early last year and also have severe health anxiety and despite the best efforts of cbt my gp and two cardiologist i am still find it almost impossible to be reassured and am convinced that my awful symptoms are something more sinister then anxiety. Let me just say i am so glad to have found this site and hope to contribute and also hopefully get some of my shattered life back so please this may be a long post but please please bear with me and reply.
I wasn't always like this not at all,
I have had a tough time but i was coping well or so ithought i came out of a pesudo christian sect after 5 years married and with a child at 23 and all the presssures that come with supporting a young family, disillusioned with the church and fresh in to a 5 year university course a world of partying drink and drugs was before me, dissilusioned with my faith i jumped in to it head first. Despite this i managed to complete my degree hold down a job and find time to maintain a reltionship with my gorgeous daughter and ensure the bills where paid. As time went by the marriage broke down and turned sour until the point it fell apart, my ex moved away and took my daughter which devastated me. Trying to maintain a reltionship with my daughter so far away was tough and created more stress but i could cope. After seperation from my ex the partying life went worse as i lived for the weeknd but all this came to a end in jan 2007. After a night of drinking, cocaine and ectascy i awoke i knew something was wrong i went to work with my heart pounding out of my chest and with chest pain. By the end of the day i had to go to accident and emergency, this was the first of 20 times that year and a year of total hell. A ecg revealed that my heart arteries here going in to spasm near my left ventricle blood tests showed tropin levels and ek levels where normal but for 8 days my ecg showed changes i was in hospital for 8 days before being discharged after a echogram revealed my heart was strong and after a angiogram showed my arteries where ok they let me out of hospital saying my heart had not been damaged permenantly. Since that i have ha a strees test which was ok 2 48 hr ecg which showed my heart rate behaving erractly with beats between 40 and 145 bpm and eptopic and pvc,s however cardiologist says i have nothing to worry about. The problem was my symptoms from that night did not dissapear i had a racing pulse, palpatation skipped beats, dizziness, faintaing, sickness, fatigue chest pain, my stomach bloats and i cant breath and i almost lost my job. I was in and out of hospital onvinced i was having a heart attack or stroke yet discharged after ecgs where ok and blood test negative. There was one further incident where my heart raced and my ek levels where raised yet they put this down to the fact that i train in the gym a lot so these can be raised. I quit drugs altogather but even if i have adrink now the next day i feel symptoms of heart attack or stroke my pulse races and the overwhelming feeling of anxirty is unbearable i shake from head to toe thinking i am going to die adreanalan runs through my body and i in a permenant state of immenant doom this feeling of panic can last for days and i cant be reassured or calmned down. All my gp can say is i have anxiety and not too worry i have eptopics and pvcs and these are nothing too worry about. I feel like i am at war with the medical proffesion as if i hae not damaged my heart why do i get all these symptoms of a damaged heart i think i am in danger all the time and have almost lost my job over it. I spend my time crawling the net with symptoms and come up with all sorts to explain my symptoms vit b deficiancy, low blood sugar can all cause overwhelming feelings of anxiety along with serious heart disease. Have they missed something ??
Whatever my diagnosies my life feels like it is over i live in a state of panic, i have almost lost my supportive girlfriend over it put my supportive family through hell am totally obsessed withy taking my pulse and am paranoid that my heart is going to stop. I have lost all my confidence i no longer see the point in anything, am frightened to go away on holiday as last year i came home after 3 days in a permenant state of panic. I dont want to go out my friends anymore as the symptoms are horrific when i drink alchohol, how can all this just be panic, anxiety and nothing serious i just dont know whqat to believe anymore ?
I wasn't always like this not at all,
I have had a tough time but i was coping well or so ithought i came out of a pesudo christian sect after 5 years married and with a child at 23 and all the presssures that come with supporting a young family, disillusioned with the church and fresh in to a 5 year university course a world of partying drink and drugs was before me, dissilusioned with my faith i jumped in to it head first. Despite this i managed to complete my degree hold down a job and find time to maintain a reltionship with my gorgeous daughter and ensure the bills where paid. As time went by the marriage broke down and turned sour until the point it fell apart, my ex moved away and took my daughter which devastated me. Trying to maintain a reltionship with my daughter so far away was tough and created more stress but i could cope. After seperation from my ex the partying life went worse as i lived for the weeknd but all this came to a end in jan 2007. After a night of drinking, cocaine and ectascy i awoke i knew something was wrong i went to work with my heart pounding out of my chest and with chest pain. By the end of the day i had to go to accident and emergency, this was the first of 20 times that year and a year of total hell. A ecg revealed that my heart arteries here going in to spasm near my left ventricle blood tests showed tropin levels and ek levels where normal but for 8 days my ecg showed changes i was in hospital for 8 days before being discharged after a echogram revealed my heart was strong and after a angiogram showed my arteries where ok they let me out of hospital saying my heart had not been damaged permenantly. Since that i have ha a strees test which was ok 2 48 hr ecg which showed my heart rate behaving erractly with beats between 40 and 145 bpm and eptopic and pvc,s however cardiologist says i have nothing to worry about. The problem was my symptoms from that night did not dissapear i had a racing pulse, palpatation skipped beats, dizziness, faintaing, sickness, fatigue chest pain, my stomach bloats and i cant breath and i almost lost my job. I was in and out of hospital onvinced i was having a heart attack or stroke yet discharged after ecgs where ok and blood test negative. There was one further incident where my heart raced and my ek levels where raised yet they put this down to the fact that i train in the gym a lot so these can be raised. I quit drugs altogather but even if i have adrink now the next day i feel symptoms of heart attack or stroke my pulse races and the overwhelming feeling of anxirty is unbearable i shake from head to toe thinking i am going to die adreanalan runs through my body and i in a permenant state of immenant doom this feeling of panic can last for days and i cant be reassured or calmned down. All my gp can say is i have anxiety and not too worry i have eptopics and pvcs and these are nothing too worry about. I feel like i am at war with the medical proffesion as if i hae not damaged my heart why do i get all these symptoms of a damaged heart i think i am in danger all the time and have almost lost my job over it. I spend my time crawling the net with symptoms and come up with all sorts to explain my symptoms vit b deficiancy, low blood sugar can all cause overwhelming feelings of anxiety along with serious heart disease. Have they missed something ??
Whatever my diagnosies my life feels like it is over i live in a state of panic, i have almost lost my supportive girlfriend over it put my supportive family through hell am totally obsessed withy taking my pulse and am paranoid that my heart is going to stop. I have lost all my confidence i no longer see the point in anything, am frightened to go away on holiday as last year i came home after 3 days in a permenant state of panic. I dont want to go out my friends anymore as the symptoms are horrific when i drink alchohol, how can all this just be panic, anxiety and nothing serious i just dont know whqat to believe anymore ?