Cococj
09-07-08, 22:02
Hello,
Thank you for anyone who takes time to read what I'm sure knowing my previous writing style might turn into a silly long post.
I've been through an extended period of general anxiety before several years ago, most of it was new to me at that time and during the 18 months + it lasted I decided that I had everything from heart failure, MS, liver/kidney problems, brain tumours, etc etc. My actual physical condition was more or less IBS, problems with acid reflux and for over a year problems swallowing I finally managed to accept that the majority of my problems were caused by my anxiety and I eventually managed to return more or less to a normal way of life.
This last two months however have been bad. It all started off with a very hot sausage, I hear you scratching your heads but I'll explain. One of the things that my doctor decided I am having a problem with after many tests is IBS, it's worse when I'm stressed there's no doubt of that, but even last year when I wasn't it occasionally flared up and gave me a few uncomfortable days - guess what? I dealt with and coped and it passed.
The sausage incident, as I've come to call it, was what set me off this time this occurred about 3 months ago. After having swallowed an extremely hot sausage straight off the grill and not chewing it it got lodged just above my stomach stayed there for several seconds and hurt like hell. In and of itself that wasn't really an issue, the pain continued for several days then passed.
Now i think partly due to my previous association with my anxiety upsetting my stomach when I found that ever since then I've been having increasing problems with random pains down there. This eventually led me to go back to the doctors. At this time I wasn't feeling anxious. A few days after this however I had my first "random" panic attack for a couple of years. This worried me as it recurred for a period of over an hour.
A quick rundown of what happened since then. My IBS has been playing up, not surprising as I'm feeling more stressed out. I developed upper back pain (this became a thoracic aortic aneurysm in my mind) eventually developing into mid back pain and more lately lower back pain.
My bowels and stomach feel like I've been kicked all the time. I had a period of 3 weeks where my random panic attacks made me feel odd compared with the normal ones I'd had. And, what's worse for me I've woken up in a state of panic with burning sensations right across my upper body and weakness. These were new for me and quite scary.
I've tried several medications and this time, unlike last time I can't find anything that will help. Which has left me off of them and trying to deal with things alone.
I wake up feeling horrible, like I'm going to die, I've got this horrible thought stuck in my head that I do infact have an aortic aneurysm in my abdomen due to the discomfort down there, the fact I can feel (what I'm assued elsewhere is just the normal aortic pulse when I'm lying down) a pulsing sensation in my bellly and the back pain. I feel faint and/or dizzy all day long and I'm permanently on edge. What isn't helping this time is that my doctor changes every single time I visit the surgery and I can't develop a relationship with him/her.
So moving onto today and what made me post. How do you stop these thoughts that something is about to pop inside of you and you'll be dead within 2 minutes. How do you explain to yourself logically that the faint feeling and dizziness, the back pain and hip pain the spasming muscles in your back, the sore tendons in your leg and arms, the constant pain across your mid spine and the chills you have are just normal feelings of anxiety and tense muscles?
I know I've beaten this into submission once before but that time I was eventually able to rationalise things in my own mind way before I'd gotten to this point. Is this constant upping of the symptoms natural? How can you cope when you feel worse after gentle exercise. When even walking to the shop makes you feel worse for hours afterwards if not the rest of the day. This all stems from me thinking something's going on in my body which sometimes I'm able to logically say isn't.
Does this drive you crazy as it does me? How do you/have you coped with thoughts like this?
Last time I went through this my doctor eventually gave me some amitriptyline to help with the depression which had set in, this helped me sleep and actually helped with my state of mind. This time not so much because I'm waking up half asleep in a panic this time and the amitriptyline just makes that worse as I can't clear my mind for the rest of the day.
Please before I go crazy someone tell me this is normal for anxiety and that there is light or help there.
Chris
Thank you for anyone who takes time to read what I'm sure knowing my previous writing style might turn into a silly long post.
I've been through an extended period of general anxiety before several years ago, most of it was new to me at that time and during the 18 months + it lasted I decided that I had everything from heart failure, MS, liver/kidney problems, brain tumours, etc etc. My actual physical condition was more or less IBS, problems with acid reflux and for over a year problems swallowing I finally managed to accept that the majority of my problems were caused by my anxiety and I eventually managed to return more or less to a normal way of life.
This last two months however have been bad. It all started off with a very hot sausage, I hear you scratching your heads but I'll explain. One of the things that my doctor decided I am having a problem with after many tests is IBS, it's worse when I'm stressed there's no doubt of that, but even last year when I wasn't it occasionally flared up and gave me a few uncomfortable days - guess what? I dealt with and coped and it passed.
The sausage incident, as I've come to call it, was what set me off this time this occurred about 3 months ago. After having swallowed an extremely hot sausage straight off the grill and not chewing it it got lodged just above my stomach stayed there for several seconds and hurt like hell. In and of itself that wasn't really an issue, the pain continued for several days then passed.
Now i think partly due to my previous association with my anxiety upsetting my stomach when I found that ever since then I've been having increasing problems with random pains down there. This eventually led me to go back to the doctors. At this time I wasn't feeling anxious. A few days after this however I had my first "random" panic attack for a couple of years. This worried me as it recurred for a period of over an hour.
A quick rundown of what happened since then. My IBS has been playing up, not surprising as I'm feeling more stressed out. I developed upper back pain (this became a thoracic aortic aneurysm in my mind) eventually developing into mid back pain and more lately lower back pain.
My bowels and stomach feel like I've been kicked all the time. I had a period of 3 weeks where my random panic attacks made me feel odd compared with the normal ones I'd had. And, what's worse for me I've woken up in a state of panic with burning sensations right across my upper body and weakness. These were new for me and quite scary.
I've tried several medications and this time, unlike last time I can't find anything that will help. Which has left me off of them and trying to deal with things alone.
I wake up feeling horrible, like I'm going to die, I've got this horrible thought stuck in my head that I do infact have an aortic aneurysm in my abdomen due to the discomfort down there, the fact I can feel (what I'm assued elsewhere is just the normal aortic pulse when I'm lying down) a pulsing sensation in my bellly and the back pain. I feel faint and/or dizzy all day long and I'm permanently on edge. What isn't helping this time is that my doctor changes every single time I visit the surgery and I can't develop a relationship with him/her.
So moving onto today and what made me post. How do you stop these thoughts that something is about to pop inside of you and you'll be dead within 2 minutes. How do you explain to yourself logically that the faint feeling and dizziness, the back pain and hip pain the spasming muscles in your back, the sore tendons in your leg and arms, the constant pain across your mid spine and the chills you have are just normal feelings of anxiety and tense muscles?
I know I've beaten this into submission once before but that time I was eventually able to rationalise things in my own mind way before I'd gotten to this point. Is this constant upping of the symptoms natural? How can you cope when you feel worse after gentle exercise. When even walking to the shop makes you feel worse for hours afterwards if not the rest of the day. This all stems from me thinking something's going on in my body which sometimes I'm able to logically say isn't.
Does this drive you crazy as it does me? How do you/have you coped with thoughts like this?
Last time I went through this my doctor eventually gave me some amitriptyline to help with the depression which had set in, this helped me sleep and actually helped with my state of mind. This time not so much because I'm waking up half asleep in a panic this time and the amitriptyline just makes that worse as I can't clear my mind for the rest of the day.
Please before I go crazy someone tell me this is normal for anxiety and that there is light or help there.
Chris