breast clinic nightmare

[strawberrie]

hi, i havent posted on here for such a long time really cos i'm trying to keep away from all reminders of anxiety, but i've just had the most horrendous time i am hoping i can get a bit of reassurance from the lovely people here :)

i have become concerned about my family history with regards to breast cancer and have got myself into quite a state about it, so i went to the doctors and asked to be referred, i chose to go private because i felt like i was having some sort of breakdown and would disintegrate if i couldnt get help quickly. My gp examined me at the time (she has examined me lots of times) and said that she couldnt find anything wrong but she would refer me because of my anxiety.

Anyway, i got an appointment at the breast clinic and was so petrified i thought i was going to pass out, and when i had my examination with the consultant he terrified me by saying he could find two lumps which he believed to be benign but he would do a needle test on them to make sure and he would also send me for an ultrasound. I think that was the worst moment of my life (so far!) One of the lumps i couldn't even feel and the other was very large but very mobile which was why it never bothered me before. I will not get the results of the needle test until next thursday which has been completely tearing me apart. But then i went for the ultrasound which was carried out by a specialist doctor and she said that she couldnt find anything to worry about, i had a couple of cysts, and the large lump looked just like glandular tissue or something like that. She was very reassuring, and told me that on my notes the consultant had marked these lumps as likely to be benign, so my anxiety levels have dipped a bit since that.

Has anyone else had an experience like this that can reassure me a bit, i am not completely falling apart like i was before the ultrasound but i still have a lot of 'what if's' in my head. Sorry this is a long post, but can anyone help (without frightening me)?

[joyce1980]

No sorry but it sounds like you will be fine, I know what the waiting is like. Thursday will come soon and they can usually tell from an ultra sound anyway.(so i think you may have your answer already)

I'll bet you will be just fine, good on you for taking care of your health if there really was anything (really i dont think there will be) i'll bet you would have caught it extremly early.

You will be ok,

[lilly-lou]

Hi
I had a lump in my breast when and was referred to see a consultant who done a needle biopsy and an altrasound, I had to wait for the results which was very stressful but thankfully all come back ok and I was told they were harmless cysts that didn't need to be removed.I hope this can give you a bit of reassurance

lilly-lou

[ellida]

I had a breast lump last December and had to have the tests done etc. The consultant was pretty certain from what he saw in the ultrasound that all was ok and the other tests then backed that up. These specialists have an enormous amount of experience in these things and wouldn't say anything to you if they weren't pretty certain they were right.

Hope this reassures you a little - and I know how awful it can be waiting for the results. Hang in there and all will be fine,

Exx:yesyes:

[sheba2]

Its brilliant that you have been to have yourself checked and I know how anxious a time it is when waiting for any results. But I would take heart from the ultrasound tests. The people who do these are very used to seeing both good and bad things and I'm sure would have kept quiet rather than build false hope. I had an ultrasound test on my kidneys last year and the sonographer said everything was ok but just had to be signed off by the doc before they could release the results. I know its hard but try and give yourself something positive to do each day until thursday and then hopefully the time will pass more quickly. Best of luck

[JennyW]

this sounds exactly like me. I too get very anxious about checking my breasts and was at the clinic in March. The consultant examined me and agreed that my right breast was quite lumpy and I had a mammogram and u/s there and then and to book follow-up appointment to go through the results.

The lady who did the u/s found a lump which she said was a cyst (I didn't even know it was there) and spent quite a lot of time on one particular area which concerned me but at the end she just said that everything looked ok.

During my follow-up appointment the consultant explained that there were quite a few cysts and nodules in my right breast and that I have very glandular tissue, but nothing to worry about.

You sound find and what they are doing is all perfectly normal. IF there was the slighest chance they were concerned about anything, you'd of been called back in a shot, they don't risk waiting now. Our breast cancer screening is excellent in the UK :yesyes:

[strawberrie]

thanks for the replies, i am finding this all very hard and it helps to not feel quite so alone :)

[Piglet]

You know I went through this back in January where they found I had at least 2 cysts in my right boob which I had drained and yes I too have very granular boobs (nice - hi I'm Piglet and I have very granular boobs) but I totally indentify with you over how 'bonkers' you get over it - it's the waiting hun that's what it is, it gives us way too much time to build the most scary scenarios we possibly can. :lac:

I'm still having a few hormonal type issues too so I've got to have a blood test done to check my hormone levels and I've decided to come off the pill now.

My advice would be to try and keep occupied so as to avoid dwelling on it unneccessarily and also to do a progressive muscle relaxation cd to stop all those fears turning your muscles rock hard (my hands became like claws I was that tense). Don't forget to do your 'Thought record sheets' too - this helps you to keep some perspective and stops you from putting the horse before the cart which us anxious lot do all the time - imagine Piglet here overtaking a horse and cart in her haste to run from fear.

Lovie you don't need to run from fear (the faster you run the more it chases you) let it reach you and go past you and on its way:shades::hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[bex1970]

I had almost the same scenario - and actually asked the sonographer whether they would speculate as to whether something was ok if it wasn't? He said that if something was bad they would NEVER say that they thought it was ok - it's not worth being sued for and they aren't actually allowed to say something is ok if it's categorically not.... It's not worth their while to reassure us just for the sake of our peace of mind - imagine how furious you would be if you had been assured that it was 98% benign to then be told that it wasn't. I think that they would just stay quiet. Waiting for the needle biopsy result is so scary, especially for us HA sufferers but the ultrasounds are pretty good and my sonographer told me that they can really tell from that if something is good / bad.... after all, they do hundreds of them all the time, they just do the biopsy to be 100% sure and because it's part of the package. I'm pretty sure you're going to be grand and rest assured that they wouldn't reassure you if they weren't able to.:hugs:

[strawberrie]

thank you so much guys, it is reassuring to hear your stories. I seem to swing from moments of calm to moments of complete panic, but hey i just have to think its only a few days to get through and even if the worst happens i'll just have to handle it!

[strawberrie]

just wanted to say thank you so much for your reassurance. i have kind of had mixed news today so i'm not sure whether to be happy or sad. Went for my follow up appointment today to get biopsy results, first thing consultant said was that both ultrasound and biopsies had come back normal which as you can imagine was a HUGE relief :yesyes:

But then, he told me that as a matter of course they always re-examine and if the lumps are still there they will do a second needle test, just to make absolute sure. So anyway, he examined me and re-did the needle test on one of the previous lumps, couldnt find the other lump that the other consultant found last time, but did the needle test on a different lump which he said felt very much like normal boob but he wouldnt be doing his job if he didnt do these extra tests. Thankfully i do not have to go in and get the results for the additional tests, he said they will send a letter, but if they found something wrong they will call me within a week. Sooo, more waiting :weep: which is obviously not great, but at least the news i've had so far is good. When i asked him why the previous consultant had not found this other lump he had found he said that breast tissue changes so much its pretty difficult to keep track of all lumps (especially cos i have particularly lumpy boobs - lucky me :mad: ) Said i might be having a lot of changes because i have only just had my mirena coil removed a few weeks ago so my hormones are probably all over the place. Bizarrely, as soon as i got home from my appointment i found that aunt flo had come to visit (sorry tmi) so i'm really hoping all this is down to hormonal changes.

So anyway, thought i would update you, can't say i'm jumping for joy just yet, maybe doing a tentative little hop for the moment :winks:

[JennyW]

hey good news :yahoo:

Funny you remarked about the Mirena coil. I had mine removed in January and the consultant said this could affect things for a while.

[JoT]

Ugh how stressfull for you strawberrie, this is my worry too.

I know this sounds daft but sometimes I wish i didn't have boobs so I don't have to worry about it. I just feel like they are a minefield. "I've breastfed my kids, I don't need them anymore..can you lop them off now please doc" LOL!

Sorry that's a bit extreme, I'm just kiddin - I am quite attached to them really :)

Good luck with your results, it is good that they are being so thorough. I'm sure you will be fine.

Jo x

[strawberrie]

hi jo, i think you were posting on my thread just at the same time as i was posting on yours!

i know exactly what you mean about wanting rid of them. Due to my personal circumstances i am trying to get genetic testing done, if this showed up that my chances of getting breast cancer are very high i wouldn't have any hesitation in having them removed (my husband thinks i'm potty, either that or he is more attached to them than i am) but to take away the fear for me i feel it would be a small price to pay!

take care :flowers:

[Piglet]

Totally agree with you girls about the whole flippin boob thing. :shades:

Back in January (when I was going through the same thing) I was so scared to look at them incase there was some horrible new physical sign of something that I even contemplated wearing my bra in the bath - now how mad is that!!! :wacko:

You're doing well sausage - it's totally natural to feel stressed so continue to try and remember to live in the present moment only. I remember Meg once saying to me about not living in emergency mode all the time but priortize the importance of situations, ie break down what needs immediate attention versus what needs attention but not this second.

Also have you been filling in your 'Thought record sheets' from the Mind over Matter book. A good reason to do this each time is not only does it help you from boiling over but it gives you a record to look back on if you need reassurance in the future.

One last thing is to try and get a few minutes a few times a day to sit quietly and breathe into a count of 4 and out to a count of 6 (or whatever count suits your breath) nice and low and slow to help calm the equilibrium.

You've come through the main hurdle mate now, cos if there was anything massive or big then it would already have shown up.

Love Piglet :flowers:

[strawberrie]

thanks for your reply piglet, its funny that you said that you contemplated wearing your bra in the bath, cos one of my exposure exercises i did in cbt was to have a bath with no bubbles because bathing actually scares me because of what i might find (i'll just point out here that i do shower every day - i'm not a stinkoid :shades: )

i have been doing the thought record sheets, but i'm actually beginning to think that this approach is not the best for me. I seem to be naturally drawn to the whole 'flooding' technique, i think you just get a feel for what is right for you don't you? Flooding seems to pretty much immediately bring down my anxiety levels so i think i'm going to stick with that and see how it goes - i'll let you know how i get on :)

[Piglet]

:hugs: :yesyes:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[Southern_Belle]

I was told by my doctor to stop caffiene and it helped me get rid of my cysts. Good luck getting through the next few days, we are here if you need us.

Love and hugs,

Laura xxx

[strawberrie]

thanks laura for your wishes and advice, i am already trying to cut down on caffeine to help with the anxiety anyway! maybe it will help to make my boobs happier too! :D

[strawberrie]

just to say thanks again for all your support, my tests have all come back normal, which is obviously a huge relief :yesyes:

[Piglet]

Nice one mate. :yesyes:

Piglet :flowers: