I dont know what to say but.... [Archive]

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Astarian

13-07-08, 08:12

Its taken me a while to post my intro. For some reason I feel really really nervous which is weird because I like how safe it feels here.
I found the site by 'accident' googling a health problem and I liked what I read here plus I found the games which are great because I can make little comments on the scores which made me feel part of the site without any exposure.
I guess thats what my 'problem' is?, some kind of social anxiety? I detest crowds. I'm great one on one and perhaps as much as 3 in a group but after that I just want to escape. I dont always relate very well to people, I can cause confusion. I dont know why. I do a lot of self analysis, some say too much but I want to know why certain things happen, in me, you know.
My 22 year old daughter has panic attacks, and my nan has always suffered from anxiety, (we've protected her from certain family info all her life); the rest of the family, my bro, my parents and me have all suffered from suicidal depression at one time or other.

I find it strange to be here, coz I wouldnt have said I suffered from panic or anxiety but something about this site makes me feel safe and maybe I'm in denial about anxiety because I am anxious about crowds and almost phobic about Dr's...and some things I find difficult to do, and they reduce me to tears but I usually get it done anyway eventually...but I've written enough now I think :)

Cath xxx

diane07

13-07-08, 09:18

Aww cath,
welcome to nmp and i can understand you feeling safe here, there will be lots here that understand what you are going through. I hope you find the support you need as i have.

best wishes
di xx

marie1974

13-07-08, 09:23

hi cath and welcome, i too feel safe here and have some lovely friends here. you will get some great advice and support here and realise that so many people suffer the same problems. keep posting and will do our best to help hugs xxxx

bluesparkle

13-07-08, 10:24

hi cath
and a very big warm welcome to nmp :welcome:
it is a safe place to be here it took me a while to post my first post and to talk in the chat room but now a few years down the line they cant shut me up!
you will get loads of good advice here and the people are always friendly.
rach
x

Astarian

13-07-08, 11:29

Thank you.. nice to meet you all. I feel better now I got that first post out of the way :)

Maddy

13-07-08, 11:35

Hi Cath. I can relate totally to the way you feel, even down to the fact that it's only recently that I have acknowledged the anxiety I feel generally and more so in social situations. In the past I have struggled with bouts of depression but I now think that it all started with extreme anxiety at an early age which then led on to depressive episodes. Growing up around anxious people can make us feel fearful in general and anxiety kind of feeds on itself. I, like you, get on and do most things eventually and very often my feelings of dread about social situations can seem totally over the top once the occasion is over and I reflect on my experience, but that doesn't seem to make the next activity any easier for me. It's good to share how you feel though isn't it, especially in a safe environment such as this. I am trying to change my irrational beliefs and negative self-talk by using CBT techniques. Perhaps it might help you to look into that also.
Take care
Maddy

Astarian

13-07-08, 12:31

Hi Maddy,
I had a crap childhood and I know all my struggles with life have really been about undoing the damage but I just didnt realise before, until coming here, that some of my difficulties are actually episodes of anxiety. Its interesting you mention negative self talk because i used to suffer really badly from that, constantly berating myself for everything, even if I did good it was never good enough but I have gotten over that now. I met a man who emotionally and mentally abused me and it was after that, realising that what he was doing to me on the outside was no different to what I was doing to myself on the inside with all the self talk, after that realisation I didnt seem to have the problem any more...now though I am just pathetic, least thats how it feels, wimpy, no strength to fight (tho I think I was hiding behing the fighting) and this is why I think I suffer with nerves, anxiousness now?....dont know, lol, just thinking aloud
Thanks for sharing because I wasnt sure what I am/was experiencing, its good to know someone else understands,
thanks!

Cath xxx

Maddy

13-07-08, 13:09

You say that you don't negative self-talk anymore and yet you then go on to say how pathetic and wimpy you are! Strange that isn't it? I don't think we are necessarily always completely aware of how much we put ourselves down. It can be so automatic that it doesn't actually register that that is what we are doing to ourselves. If only we could be as kind and understanding to ourselves as we are to others instead of beating ourselves up over our perceived faults!
I am happy to chat anytime
Maddy x

Lindalou64

13-07-08, 13:57

Welcome Maddy Wish Ya Well.............linda

Astarian

13-07-08, 14:08

Southern_Belle

13-07-08, 14:30

Hi Astarian,

Welcome to the site. Many here will understand how you are feeling and you will get support.

Take care,

Laura

pineapple

13-07-08, 19:10

hi welcome hope you find some peace here causethis is the only place that really has made me get better kisses xx pineapple

Cathy V

13-07-08, 19:18

Hi Cath, and welcome to nmp. There are lots of people who have social anx, and just about every other anx too! My own health anx, mostly heart phobia, and there are alot of us here with this too.

I hope you setle in ok and find the help and suport you need.
Bye for now
Cathy xxx :welcome:

boomer

13-07-08, 19:19

just a little note to say welcome to nmp.

milly jones

13-07-08, 20:59

hi cath

a warm welcome to nmp

i have sa too and nmp helps me greatly

lots love milly xxx

Nibbles

13-07-08, 21:35

Hi Cath and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

Take care,

Mike :)

nomorepanic

13-07-08, 22:20

Hi Cath

A warm :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help

alexis

13-07-08, 23:53

Hi welcome to the site, I know you will get lots of help and advice here,I have social anxiety and I certainly have the dr phobia, I think drs are for the seriously ill, and never go, of course I know this is untrue, but we were brought up never to go to drs unless we were desperate
On the social anxiety side, I think you will find a lot of people happier in twos or threes and happier to stay at home than go out, I know Im definitly in this category but if youd seen me a few years ago I would go into busiest pub because I got a buzz out of the atmosphere and the hassle at the bar, now i cant go into my home town, and hardly ever leave the house without my car.
i have accepted this is life now, and Ill get on with it.Its not often I feel Im missing out.
Take time to look around the site, you will sure feel better knowing there are others the same,
There is chat if you fancy, I know when I first joined I got so much support form there and made some lovely friends, we rarely talked about our problems we were too busy being daft and having a laugh, but we never left problems unaddressed if people did bring them in the room.It was a lifesaver.
take care and pm if I can be of any further help.xxx

kellie

14-07-08, 10:37

Hiya Cath, :welcome: to nmp its lovely to have you here :yesyes:
You will get lots of support/advice/reasurance and make some great friends along the way. I know you hate the doctors hun but have you ever talked to one about how you feel and what you are going through?
You may find it a good step to helping you get better control of things.
Im so glad you done your first post, you can now post to us more often and we can help you as much as we can.
The chat roon is a great help to talk live about your worries or to just have a giggle and take your mind of them
hope to talk to you soon

take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxx

weeble40

14-07-08, 19:40

welcome to NMP hope to see you around sometime

Emma xxx