Hi folks

[richy]

I've been reading these threads for a couple days and decided it was time I came on board. I've been off work due to stress and anxiety for past couple of weeks (SW engineer - high pressure work on complicated project). I've had episodes of anxiety and depression like this twice before in my life. The first at age 10 following prolonged concussion after a fall, then at about 27 due to work stress (I'm 40 now). Both times I kept it all bottled in, and stayed at school/work and eventually came through but this time I've opened up and stopped going to work.

I'm freelance and not sure I'll have a job to go back to before long. Saw a counsellor for first time last week, but I got impression she wants me to let it all out and breakdown, but that terrifies me, as I'll prob lose job and maybe sanity? Feel I'm waiting to go crazy and need to get back to work, but that caused my problems in first place. Stuck between rock and hard place. My past traumas have left me with a stomach disorder meaning a very limited diet which adds to my woes, but I guess some people have worse problems to deal with (one mate of mine was paralysed from neck down after a fall). Seeing counsellor on Monday with a list of pros and cons for both options. Want to be strong and face things.

Had a sleepness night last and got depression knawing in my stomach, but trying to stay positive today. Off to church soon and then for a walk with a mate which will hopefully cheer me up.

:unsure: Not used forums/chat rooms before so be gentle with me!

[bluesparkle]

hi richy
welcome to nmp :yesyes:
you will get loads of good advice here and make some really good friends.
i have just started counselling its not easy is it, i dont like to show my emotions i am just taking it slow and steady with him and going through one problem at a time.
is it your first time at counselling, it can make you feel a bit "odd" and uneasy afterwards but hang on in there.
you will NOT lose your sanity honest!
good luck for monday let us know how it goes
rach
x

[richy]

Hi Rach,
Just got back from church and it's really lifted me. Thanks very much for your reply and encouragement. Made it even better to get back home to a warm welcome. I feel so much better than I did this morning. I've always witheld emotions too and I guess it eats away at you from inside. Hope your counselling goes ok too.

:yesyes: Richy

[Lindalou64]

Hello Richy And Welcome ..wish Ya Well..........linda

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Richy,

Welcome to the site. Many here understand how you are feeling and you will get support. I agree that it is difficult to open up in counseling at first but once you begin it gets easier. Please try to not downplay what you are going through to others' problems as there is always someone worse off than yourself but You count too. Since you state that you go to church I would also try praying, I have found that it helps me in times of anxious moments and stress. Again, welcome.

Take care,

Laura

[Nibbles]

Hi Richy and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

Take care,

Mike :)

[milly jones]

welcome to nmp richy

i do agreee that therapy does hurt, but i feel thats its the only way to heal me.

once u trust the therapist and do start opening up its not easy but it does help relieve the grief and locked away emotions.

then i believe u can start to heal the wounds

take care milly xxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Richy

A warm :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help

[kellie]

Hiya hun :welcome: to nmp its lovely to have you here :yesyes:
You will get lots of support/advice/reasurance and make some great friends along the way. Im sorry you are going through a rough time at the moment. keep posting as its good to talk about things and i realy hope we can be of some help to you. We also have a great chat room where you can talk to ppl about things or just have a giggle,so i hope to talk to you soon.

take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[weeble40]

welcome to NMP hope to see you around sometime

Emma xxx

[richy]

Thanks everybody for all your warm replies.
I am finding the counselling difficult. We came to the conclusion that I shouldn't go back to work yet, and maybe not at all into that job, but I am finding it difficult living at home all day long. Trying to get a structure to the day but it's suprising how much time there is which gives your mind time to wander and worry about the future.

Thanks again everyone - good to know you're out there to help.