View Full Version : Have You All Given Up Trying
Sometimes I wonder if some people on this site really want to get better or are they just using the site to moan moan moan and then do nothing about their mental health issues!!!!
1/ Do you speak to your doctor and get advice
2/ Do you have a support team via a mental health org
3/ Do eat healthy and cut back on junk food caffine etc
4/ Do you read all the advice on this site and take it in
If you are talking to your doctor and are involved with a mental health support team then you will begin to move forward!!! I know some will say its not that easy but in truth it is...If you really want to get better then you need to take the steps to get better.
If you have panic attacks then you need to face the fear
If you have agoraphobia then you need to get out
If you have low self esteem then you need to work at it
Because no one else is going to do it for you
seriously what do you think is going to happen if you dont try or you dont face the fear?
do you really think Some how its all going to vanish in the morning when you wake up?
Come on lets get real about this!!!!!!
Ihave spent the last 4 months looking at what is out there with regards to support in the UK and there is tons of support in nearly every town and city. So it does not take a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that some just want to sit and moan but do nothing to get better.
I have read and re-read the advice on this site and it has everything you need to make a start but I think very few people read it or have printed it off and keep reading it.
The only way to get better is to keep reading the advice and get the support that you need.
If you want to be the way you are in one year then just sit there and do nothing and keep moaning about how hard it is and how no one understands how you feel and use every excuse under the sun but maybe the truth is you have just given up and now just accept the way you are!!!!!
Ok some may not get better because of many reasons but at least try.
Am I being too hard?
Am I being unsensitive?
Well maybe we all need to hear the truth!!!!!
I know for sure I do and I did get off my backside and face the fear and no I am not stronger than anyone else but I knew I could not go another day feeling this way...PANIC ATTACKS AGORAPHOBIA LOW SELF ESTEEM...
Well CONGRATS to you..... a mental disorder is not somthing so easy to just get over..but im glad it was for you..what about those people who DO have a doctor and DO have a support group who HAVE taken to a healthy diet and who DO excersize alot of us ARE trying just as hard as you have, i dont think people come to the website to moan but to find somone that understands their is NOTHING wrong with that.. I have done all of the abouve and for some reason tonight my whole body is twitching, nothing that i can think of brought it on i havnt had an attack for a month i eat healthy and excersize
if this website bothers you that much then just LEAVE
To anybody who reads this go head and "moan" to me i am hear to listen
This is the sort of reply I expected and maybe if you had read and re-read my post you would see that I still do suffer but also if you read the posts on here you will also see that someone else has answered that post..
As for not having a doctor or support team here in the uk there are many, so it was aimed at the uk but if you dont have the support in your own country maybe you could lobby for it...
A listening ear can only do so much but its actions that speak louder and my whole point is, we need to put into action all that we have read on this site...
Read the posts over the last few months and the majority of them are moans about the same old issue....So my question then is why have they not moved forward and the conclusion is, because they prefer to moan about it.....
Well if those people cant get that "reality check" from their doctors or counclers their is no way they are going to get it by this post, you also have to realize this..this is the internet their are alot of nutty people out their looking for attention any way they can. their may even be people on here that do not actually suffer from anxiety and panic disorder and just post here for somthing to do.
Thats a valid point mommy kc
Hi,
I'm not quite sure how to reply to this message.
For me I suffer with PTSD, Bi-polar and GAD. This is all I have knowledge about myself, I have no idea what Health Anxiety is because I don't suffer with this, and so I suppose I'll never understand this illness, which is why I don't think i've ever replied to anybody who suffers with this and I rarely read these posts. It's not because I don't care, it's because I just don't understand.
I have suffered with Agoraphopia too, but lucky for me it lasted for just six months or so.
I do kind of see your point, but I think that people must remember that everybody is an individual and very different from the next, and I do feel that it is unfair to generalize peoples situations.
I do agree that you're right in that there is help out there for all, but there is also some lack of understanding even by professionals in some areas, and unfortunately although those should be ignored (because the right help can be found), they can have a knock on affect on some peoples self esteem.
It is up to us, we must work hard and it isn't easy, but some people do find it much more difficult than others and thats just the way it goes. We're all so different.
Not quite sure what else to say.
I am always here to listen to anybody moaning! - we are all in the same boat that's why we use this website. We can all moan to each other knowing that people know exactly where we are coming from. Believe me I have a had a few moans on here over the past few months.
I am now in the process of picking myself up, and if it wasn't for these guys on here listening to my moans and sharing experiences I would never have been able to have done it.
So everyone moan away anytime you like!!! it's sometimes just what we need to do. Who else do we moan to? someone who doesn't understand us??
Even with all the support out there, it isn't easy and a lot of success has to come from within, but I think we all know that already. Sometimes the time just has to be right to push yourself that little bit further, i know I am doing it now. The vast majortity of us on here think it is a wonderful site snd I couldn't have done nything without the support of people on here (better than any medication in my opinion)
Right now I have just had a moan and feel better for it!!
Karen
You raise some very interesting points. Sometimes I read posts on here with which I cannot identify nor really understand and my inner response is often, "Get a Life". However, everything is relative and what seems strange to me will be of great importance to someone else and vice versa. There is support out there but my experience here in the UK has been mixed. Funding and post codes play a part and for myself, I am repeatedly passed from pillar to post because no-one knows quite what to do with me. I do not fit any particular "mental health hole". My GP has tried his best to get me help in various forms and I always have hope and an open mind. The reality is not always so optimistic; I have many complex issues. I try to help myself as much as I can but sometimes it is hard to keep momentum when it is "you" that you are following. There is a self help group in my area for Panic and anxiety. It runs once a fortnight and sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I can push myself to get there and then find I am panicky about getting home again!
I don't think you are being too "hard" or "sensitive". You are just expressing your opinion which we are all entitled to do. If you have managed to deal with some of your stuff, then well done. Other people (maybe not all??) are probably trying the best that they can too, which at the end of the day is really all that any of us can do. Good Luck.
Well done, I'm glad it has been so straightforward for you. If you had read any of my posts you will know that my situation is very complicated. I have sought help on numerous occasions through my doctor, and presently none is forthcoming.
I'm sorry that some of us (I'm sure I'm among them) strike you as moaning and self-pitying, but to be told by a stranger that we 'don't want to get better' is just insulting. You should understand, if you're a sufferer yourself, that many vulnerable people use this website and reading a post like yours could be very upsetting.
Of course, you have every right to express your opinions, but I wish you would not do so in such a hostile and self-righteous way.
LMAO someone got out the wrong side of the bed ;)
I happen to feel strongly about it, that's all, not only on my own behalf but all those others who use this site for support and comfort in a world which offers very little of either.
I happen to feel strongly about it, that's all, not only on my own behalf but all those others who use this site for support and comfort in a world which offers very little of either.
Well said Samira - I totally agree with you!! x
Hi, I can quite understand your point although maybe it came across as a little harsh - I have been reluctant to join any forums about panic as I do think that you run the risk of making the problem so much bigger than it is by actually acknowledging it and talking about it all the time and in a way, making it real. We all know how we should be dealing with panic but it isn't an easy thing to do. It is good to know there are other people out there going through exactly what you are and in that way, that eases the isolation and loneliness but sometimes reading about other people's problems can make your own seem bigger and worse than they are too.
I think the advice on this website is fantastic and I have printed off the advice about how to cope with panic attacks - I felt a great sense of relief when reading it and felt it could have been written with me in mind!
People on nmp are at different stages of recovery happy1 (happy1?) and there are many many success stories here too...if you take the time to read these posts also.
People are using the resources available to them, i think thats clear in their posts, but its hard work and not as easy as recovering from a physical injury...skin heals, but minds take a bit longer and recovery doesnt happen overnight.
Cathy V
Hi
My husband found this site for me and having registered today ,it is brilliant to read such a positive message. Thank you. :yesyes:
I have suffered from panic & anxiety on & off for almost twenty years. I have been on a variety of prescibed medication, but when it reared its ugly head again at christmas, I new I needed to conquer it once & for all.
We have moved house, which has not helped my attacks, but the fact that I am now registered with a new Doctor has helped enormously. I have been offered councilling for the first time, having had an assesment I am now just waiting for a follow up appointment.
I have read many different self help books, but my Dr. advised "Overcoming Anxiety, A Five Areas Approach" by Chris Williams. It is so informative & easy to digest at times of high anxiety, I have found I take it everwhere with me.
I highly recommend it.
Here's to many more postings. Di
what about those that have been begging for help and cant get it refused 5 times and kept trying for 5 year s that brick wall is not the easiest of things to get through if medicals are not going to help eat healthy and all that and there are just a few things need help with and REFUSED all the time and this site is the only place where people understand and a good moan helps everybody in one way or another so i will keep moaning and groaning there are people out there that might have there answer i found u comment quite offensive actually and i am sure a lot more did
Hi Dianne, it might be better for you to start yourself off on the 'Introduce yourself' thread where more members can see you and welcome you, as only the members who are interested in this particular thread will see you here.
Best wishes
Cathy xxx
Pink Panic
14-07-08, 11:13
Hi
Yea I agree with all thats been said and Just knowing that there are others out there that can relate to how I feel and what I go through everyday is good.. Some days are just too much and I cant cope but I keep thinking tomorrow will be better.
Who can I pay to take this away??
My Doctor told me £1500 ago that there is no quick fix and I will have to go through this but with support and as much as I want someone to wave a magic wand over me, I now know that it will take work
Thanks for your post
hugs xxxxxx
An earier post of yours Happyone2!!!!!!
So you can actually understand that somedays are too much and it's hard to cope as from the tone of your previous post that's definitely not how you come across!!
I take offence to the fact that you make 4 posts then insult the users of this Forum by actually saying that we don't want to get better!!
This is an interesting thread from all perspectives, and there are many ways of looking at it.
When I was younger in a psychiatric ward after attempting suicide again....would this site if it existed back then have been appropriate for me? I think we can all agree the answer is NO!
FAst forward to 2002, I have my first panic attack and i know my anxiety levels are high i can feel it physically. Let's go forward another 4 years..I am almost housebound. I am scared to go anywhere and do anything but I do make it to the doctors, I slowly get my life back to some sense of 'normality' (I hate that word) I get a job in July 2007. what a nightmare for various reasons relating to that job my anx goes throught the roof and I have on one shift the most god awful panic attack. I go back to the doctors, by now we are in Feb of 2008.
BY march this year I have a new job, still suffering from anx, still feeling like sometimes I'm gonna panic. Taking medication and when required propranolol or diazepam. Also waiting to hear when i will get my first appointment with a psychologist at the local hospital.
What relevance I hear you ask, does all this have to do with this post? The relevance is in that at different points in my life I have been subject to the symptoms of very different so called 'mental health issues'.One set fit the criteria of being a member on here and the other don't.
First and foremost, I personally have always viewed this site as a tool to assist me to understand, manage and hopefully move forward to a place where my anxiety is acceptable and I know longer avoid situations or places in case I have a panic attack.
But I do believe that the possibility exists that for some members, the forum element of the site has become a tool for reinforcing rather than assisting to relieve their condition. I also believe that the site has attracted members with serious mental health issues that this site is not designed to cope with or support.
Bottom line is if we are perpetually stuck in one place mentally and emotionally we do need to ask ourselves why there has been no change or progression forward. We do need to be aware of the reasons why we use this site.
I am not suggesting for one second that people on here do not want to get better. I am simply suggesting that when our whole lives are dictated by the emotion of fear it is probable that we dont have much rational perspective going on at the same time.
I would also like to say one last thing.. I have had psychiatrists, psychologists, cpn's, counsellors, doctors all involved at various stages in my life, some were good and some bad. But I have learned one thing if i don't at least try i'm wasting their time, my time and NHS resources.
Bottomline (for me and my father because he suffered very similarly to myself and we have discussed it often) is......i have a choice. Do I stay where I am or do I try to do the very opposite of what my mind and body are telling me to do. It's only me that can make that choice!
Pooh x
I think quite a lot of people look for a "quick fix" in getting their emotions back to normal. I guess we also look for a bit of sympathy when visiting a site like this. The problem with getting over an emotional problem is that it takes a great deal of effort and mind changing to achieve it, and when you are in the middle of an emotional problem, you just don't feel like making the effort sometimes.
Tom
This thread has really upset me. I sincerely wish I hadn't read it. That'll teach me for coming on here when I should be working! Perhaps it's because I'm fragile at the moment, but I find all this too much.
In answer to your question, happy 1, I actually do feel like giving up trying... especially if I am going to be judged here as well as in the outside world.
Forgive me if I sound insensitive happyone ;), but I have probably forgotten more about anxiety than you will ever know.
Sometimes people do need "guiding" towards grasping the bull by the horns and take responsibility to help themselves.
However, when someone is in an emotional state it can be hard for them to find the motivation or hope to help themselves without external help, regardless if it comes from a book, a GP, a website or family/friends.
I would go on to say that your tone in your original post would only serve to upset readers who may be in a state of anxiety, and you would only fuel their feelings to stay more negative.
Maybe you just have the hump with the world this morning happy and fancied a bit of a sound off ;)
Happy1, I think it is fair enough what you say and you are entitled to your opinion.
There may be some people on this site who are as you describe, wallowing in it and not helping themselves, but I do think that most of us do not choose to be like this and are trying everything we can to get better.
I think that the nature of this illness is that we need constant reassurance that what we are feeling is normal. I personally have read and reread the advice pages - but when you are in the throes of an anxiety attack, that little devil tells you this is not just a panic attack, it's something more serious. So coming on here and saying how you feel gets the worry out of your head and it's reassuring that other people feel the same.
The one negative for me is that sometimes I do think that this site could become an obsessive thing, as we do have an obsessive illness, possibly constantly checking this site makes us give our illness more attention that it really deserves..reminding us of how we are feeling when really we should be concentrating on other things.
I'm not talking about everyone here, but I feel it could happen in my personal case.
But regardless of that, this site helped me greatly last time I went through this 2 years ago, it provided the reassurance I needed and gave me that little bit of extra confidence I needed to realise that I wasn't going crazy and then I got better. While I was well I felt no need to visit the site.
I will get better this time too, I can feel it happening already - but once I feel better I don't think it would be helpful to come here and tell people that they aren't helping themselves because I don't know them personally and everyone has different issues.
Hey Samira :hugs:
(I believe not everyone is genuine, especially on the net and I stick 2 fingers up to those who have used me when vulnerable.)
Other than that......hun, this is the opinion of one individual to which they are entitled to. There aint no rule that says we all on here have to agree with that opinion. Which I can tell you the majority on nmp won't agree. Let others think what the hell they like of us, leave 'em to it I say. Don't let this bother you anymore, I understand where you r coming from, just try to remember and focus on the folk who DO care :flowers: .
Take care :hugs:
Hope xx
right ok u have caused a riot aint u mate, well just to add my pennys worth to this i like most have had a lot of issues and probs and have also in the past and present seeking help and i have recovered from alot and abit is ongoing, this site helps me to get advice on the little bits that still affect me. i by no means sit on my butt moaning and groaning about stuff, i exercise and have 3 kids and am very busy all day, but sometimes its good to talk to others who going through same probs. people on this site have overcome loads and it amazes me wot some have been through so for for u to say wot you have is a little over the top and u seem to be judging everyone as the same. yeah some people are not genuine as people on here have said and some dont always put themselves out as much as they should but people have there reasons and mayb if u are so clued up on all this and have fixed your problems then u wont need this site anymore will u. i agree in some stuff u say but its the way u worded it luv, it sounds very sarcastic and mayb u have more issues than u thought, we all try to help on here and that thread in the way it was written will and has caused offence. sorry if this sounds harsh but its the truth
Happyone2....where are you? :shrug:
milly jones
14-07-08, 15:27
yes i moan on nmp, i ask for hugs and reassurance
but i also
share my successes and try to help others
i do spend a great deal of time on nmp
i do eat well, exercise, no caffiene, attend my weekly hosp appts everything i can do to get better.
for my part nmp has changed my life
its up to me to work at the anx, dep, and self esteem issues.
we are all at different points in our recovery, and denial and self pity are an important part of accepting the illness and healing to move on.
when u are low posting a moan, or asking for help is acceptable to me as someone will be reading who is feeling great that day and will offer support. surely thats what nmp is about, sufferers supporting each other.
anx is not an illness which goes away in my opinion, u manage it. we all have blips and need extrs reassurance to make it thru that day.
please dont let this post upset u samira hun. we are all entitled to opinions, just sometimes ppl are so immersed in their own issues thay cant see the bigger picture and how it affects others.
if nmp does nothing for u there is no compulsion to post, happyone 2
i too have been vulnerable and 'met' ppl on nmp who ive opened up too and regretted it later. i learnt a hard lesson to trust only those who id had regular contact with, and not be affected by someone who appeared to empathise.
we are all vulnerable ppl here, we just sometimes can be sensitive to others comments when they hit a nerve.
lets just leave this one and agree to differ in opinions
and work together to get better with each others support
milly xxx
You're absolutely right Milly... let's just put it behind us. I did find it pretty upsetting, but I'm over it now. Thank you so much to everyone who sent me private messages, it was lovely of you.
:hugs: from me. xxx
ladybird64
14-07-08, 16:04
Hmm, interesting post.
I see there have been a lot of replies so I will keep mine fairly brief.
I have only been on this forum for a short while, mainly to get information and more importantly, support to achieve my goals as I no longer have the luxury of having a therapist to help me.
I have been struck by so many people come together to help those who are having a hard time, I'm sure that just knowing there is someone there to talk to lightens the load.
One thing I am sure of though is that I have absolutely no damn right whatsoever to make judgements about others that use this forum for whatever reason. If they want to post repeatedly then as far as I'm aware, there is no rule that says they shouldn't. If you feel that they have no wish to get better then don't bother to respond to the offending post(s)..I really don't see what the problem is.
There are many who DO wish to respond and these people may be the only support network that the poster has.
I read all the posts here and try and absorb the info as I re-tackle my anxiety issues and agoraphobia. I know what I have to do to tackle it and I'm sure that one day, I will be successful.
But in the meantime, I'm extremely glad that there is a non-judgemental, readily available source of suport if and when I need it.
Well said Donna01, just to come here and find poeple with the same problems as me has been a great help to me and thank you everyone for their support.:hugs:
Lesleyb
Hi Happy1:D
I would like to say that this site has really helped me, I have learnt the majority of things about my illness from this site and the lovely people on here:yesyes:
I tend to live my life by two rules 1. There but for the grace of God go I.
2. Judge not! Lest you be judged!
This has always kept me in good stead.
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: to you and everyone
Diane
'Remember, your imagination is always much worse than the reality'
Good for you HO2, you are making us think, personally I need a kick in the pants some days:yesyes: xxx
Well if those people cant get that "reality check" from their doctors or counclers their is no way they are going to get it by this post, you also have to realize this..this is the internet their are alot of nutty people out their looking for attention any way they can. their may even be people on here that do not actually suffer from anxiety and panic disorder and just post here for somthing to do.
Like you you mean!! .......get a life.
If you dont like to listen to us (moaning) as you put why do you bother coming here....looks like your the only person moaning to me.
well this post is not doing anyone any favours the only thing it is doing is bringing attention to happyone. i suggest we move on to better things cos all of u are lovely people and its not that i dont agree with anything they have said its the manner they have said it as if it was said on purpose to cause attention like it has to them. hugs to u all on herexx
nomorepanic
14-07-08, 19:30
Closing thread due to complaints and people getting upset.
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