Hello there.

[Worried worrier!]

First of all i'd just like to say that this site has given me alot of relief knowing that i'm not alone.
I am going though a very tough time at the moment with panic attacks/ocd and intrusive thoughts.
I would usually only get these things now and again since the age of twelve.
However, after taking some penacillin recently i had a HUGE panic attack one night....the worst i've ever had! I felt as though i was going to throw myself out of the window and was afraid i'd lose control and hurt my children. My partner was out so i had to ring him to come home as i was petrified that i was losing control and i was at a loss of what to do.
I saw my gp the next day who took me off the medication and i was fine for the next few days.
All of a sudden the panic attacks came back, along with the intrusive thoughts of hurting or killing myself or my children.
I am an extremely loving, protective mother and a kind person and i know i would never want any of these things to happen. the thoughts are sometimes so awful it makes me want to vomit i.e bad images of slicing my wrists or my daughters throat.
I know that my OCD is causing this and my gp doesnt consider me a danger and i have requested councilling. And even though i know i love my children so much and i have no desire to end my life, i am scared i'll lose control because of these repetitive thoughts. It has made me really scared to be at home looking after the children on my own. I am on prozac and am just finishing a course of diazepam but still i am so afraid. Has anyone else had these fears? I feel so sad :weep: and need help x

[TidusRawlings]

Hello

Am Sorry To Hear You Are Feeling Like This,

I Went Through A Stage Along Time Ago That I Thought Everyday That I Was Going To Lose It And Hurt Myself And It Is Very Scary. At The Time I Told My GP and He Put Me On A Medicine Called Sulpiride Which Is An Anti-Psychotic Sounds Strong I Know But It Really Did Help Me With The Intrusive Thoughts. You Have Done The Right Thing By Talking To Your GP, And By Doing That Shows That You DO Have Control Over These Thoughts.

I Hope You Start To Feel Better Soon.

Take Care

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

Welcome to the site. Many here with OCD have the same feelings so you will get support. I am glad you called your doctor and have requested counseling. These are just feelings and you are in control. It does not mean you are a bad person. Perhaps you could call a friend or a family member to come and stay with you until the meds kick in or you get into counseling? If not, please keep posting here and know that we understand and you are not alone.

Take care,

Laura

[kellie]

Hiya Hun :welcome: to nmp its lovely to have you here. Im sorry you are going through a bad time at the moment and you are getting these bad thoughts.Ive heard of so many ppl who have had these same thoughts about hurting them self or there children, one of them was also a family member of mine, but not once have i heard of them ever doing it. The OCD/anx/panic/fear seems to like to give you the scariest thoughts possible about the one you would never dream of doing. Plz dont think you have lost control as you havent. And i think the more you do not be alone with your kids the more you are allowing this fear to grow in your head.
Im so glad you have asked for counselling to help you through this ( and that dont mean you have lost control) its show you that you have control and and are taking control of the situation.
You will get lots of support/advice/reasurance here and make some great friends along the way an there is also a live chat room where you can come in and talk to ppl when you feel you need to talk. Plz keep posting as sharing your fears will help you.

take care.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie.xxxxxx

[Lindalou64]

Hello And Welcome ...wish Ya Well.....linda

[milly jones]

welcome to nmp hunny

think most of us have unhelpful negative thoughts at one time or another,

hope the site helps u gain peace of mind

milly xxxx

[Worried worrier!]

Thanks for the warm welcome and for making me feel more normal.
I've had another bad day but luckily have had plenty of friends to talk to. Am still frightened to be alone with the kids but am trying to conquer this new phobia. I know it is because i've had these awful intrusive thoughts but i keep getting scared that because they keep coming back, i'm meant to do something bad....which is TOTALLY not in my nature, i get scared that i need to hold a razor to my wrist to prove i wont harm myself or that i need to hold a knife near my daughter to prove i wouldn't harm her....which would scare us both!!
I know deep down that i would never ever harm anyone but feel so anxious and afraid and am trying desperatly to be rid of these unwanted thoughts.

[nomorepanic]

Hi worried

Just wanted to say hi and :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help.

[Worried worrier!]

Thanks Muchly, You Guys Are Helping Already X

[nomorepanic]

You closed the thread - did you mean to?

[Worried worrier!]

Nope. I am a fool aswell as a worrier ha ha.

[Nibbles]

Hi Worried and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

Take care,

Mike :)

[weeble40]

welcome to NMP hope to see you around sometime

Emma xxx

[Worried worrier!]

Thanks Everyone, Been Slightly Better Today!
It's Been Uplifting To Chat To People On Here And I've Also Seen My Gp Again Today. So I've Had More Reassurance That I'm Not Going To Lose Control! Just Hoping I'll Be Even Better When The Seroxat Starts Kicking In Again.