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tamo
15-07-08, 21:48
Freinds.
Once more the symptoms of panic have raised to the surface.My anxiety levels have gotten very high and I need to ask for advice before things get out of control.
I have been well for a good few months after suffering bad panic/anx a year ago following heavy drinking.

My wife was diagnosed with a malignant growth in her bowel 5 weeks ago.They have operated and have removed this.They say the operation was successful but they are suspicious that there may be something abnormal in her liver.They gave her a CT scan which showed all was ok but to be certain they are going to give her a more detailed scan ( pet scan i think) which shows for certain if any cancer cells are still present.
I have been trying so hard to be strong for her and this waiting is so stressful.She gets this other scan on the 22nd july and the results 1 week later.what ever the scan shows she has to get 6 lots of chemotherapy.I don't know if I am handling this atall.........The thing is,she is very calm about the whole thing and it's scaring me stiff since I have always had health axiety...........I keep projecting my thoughts to the future and that they won't be able to cure her and I am left with my young boy without a Mum.
How can i stop thinking so negative?
I am still at work but really struggling.I haven't had a drink in a year but i am struggling with that too although i still haven't picked up any drink I fear that i might crack and start that nightmare again.
I know that it is my thinking that is draging me back to that black hole but how do I switch this bad thinking off.
I am doing a great job around the house and being supportive for her and my Son but I fear that if I let this anxiety reach the levels I had last year i might not be able to be supportive.
The last thing she needs is me falling apart.

Please help.

Tom

Cathy V
15-07-08, 21:56
Tamo, you are dead right. The last thing she needs is for you to fall apart right now. This is about her not you, and if you start drinking again how will you look after your family? you want to drink to stop your pain? well what about her pain? this is about her now not you ok? you stay strong for her like she was strong for you with your drinking. No ifs no buts no drink!

Best wishes to your wife, i hope she gets on ok with the treatment....its not a fairground ride.

milly jones
15-07-08, 22:03
hi tom

caths right u have to stay strong.

i find that altho my anx levels rise i sort of make good adrenaline, which allows me to complete things i wouldnt necessarily be able to do.

its normal for u to feel anxious going thru what u are at the moment.

pls remember that.

i too hope that ur wifes ok, but u will cope for her and ur son

take care

milly xx

tamo
16-07-08, 07:08
Kathy.

Thanks so much.I needed to be told that. I know perfectly well this is all about her and so I will put in to practice what I have learned over the last year.......... I honestly don't believe I would start drinking.It was only an irrational fear.

I thank you for your honesty and thanks milly for your reply and kind words.
Sometimes we need to hear someone from the outside telling it how they see it.
My wife is doing really well and has had a ball at the shops over the last 2 weeks and I am worying over something that probably will never happen.

Best regards

Tom