LisaD
27-04-05, 15:40
Hi everone,
Thought I would start posting here instead of continuing my Introduce Yourself thread.
I have been progressively feeling better and better the last 2 weeks. I think that the Celexa is finally kicking in and taking the edge off. Went on a snonwboarding trip with my boyfriend and friends and had an amazing times. On one of the evenings I realized that I hadn't been thinking about all the "stuff" that is usually whirling about in my brain, and almost cried with the relief of feeling normal. I was also feeling well enough that I decided I was ready to go back to my old job, and that it would be a really good thing for my recovery to give myself something else to think about.
So on Mon, went to talk to my old supervisor....and it turns out that he didn't get a big grant this year (I do research, so everything depends on the grants) and he can't afford to hire me back :( I was sooo dissapointed, I had been so happy and excited about this, and now I just don't know what to do. I feel like I need something to occupy my mind, and I am feeling better anxiety-wise, but not quite sure if I'm ready to face a new job, new people, new system...I just wanted to go back to the comfort of my old job with some great friends.
Now I'm struggling a bit with depression, anxiety about what to do next...and pressure. My friends mean well, but they took my willingness to go back to work as a sign that I'm "all better", and now they're trying to push me to get a new job. I know they mean well, but its really upsetting me because I'm starting to feel like an idiot for not being able to "get over it" right away. I think they are all confused because I have never had problems with anxiety before, and they think I should be back to the old Lisa by now.
I'm thinking about asking my supervisor if I can volunteer for a few weeks...gives me something to do, gets me around people, and maybe this will speed up my recovery....but then I'm also kinda embarassed. I know quite a few people there, and I don't want to have to tell them whats going on, but then I don't know what to say.
Sorry to ramble on, but I just had to get this off my chest. Do you guys think it would be a good idea to do the volunteering thing, or should I just push myself to get a job? How do you know you are ready?
Lisa
Thought I would start posting here instead of continuing my Introduce Yourself thread.
I have been progressively feeling better and better the last 2 weeks. I think that the Celexa is finally kicking in and taking the edge off. Went on a snonwboarding trip with my boyfriend and friends and had an amazing times. On one of the evenings I realized that I hadn't been thinking about all the "stuff" that is usually whirling about in my brain, and almost cried with the relief of feeling normal. I was also feeling well enough that I decided I was ready to go back to my old job, and that it would be a really good thing for my recovery to give myself something else to think about.
So on Mon, went to talk to my old supervisor....and it turns out that he didn't get a big grant this year (I do research, so everything depends on the grants) and he can't afford to hire me back :( I was sooo dissapointed, I had been so happy and excited about this, and now I just don't know what to do. I feel like I need something to occupy my mind, and I am feeling better anxiety-wise, but not quite sure if I'm ready to face a new job, new people, new system...I just wanted to go back to the comfort of my old job with some great friends.
Now I'm struggling a bit with depression, anxiety about what to do next...and pressure. My friends mean well, but they took my willingness to go back to work as a sign that I'm "all better", and now they're trying to push me to get a new job. I know they mean well, but its really upsetting me because I'm starting to feel like an idiot for not being able to "get over it" right away. I think they are all confused because I have never had problems with anxiety before, and they think I should be back to the old Lisa by now.
I'm thinking about asking my supervisor if I can volunteer for a few weeks...gives me something to do, gets me around people, and maybe this will speed up my recovery....but then I'm also kinda embarassed. I know quite a few people there, and I don't want to have to tell them whats going on, but then I don't know what to say.
Sorry to ramble on, but I just had to get this off my chest. Do you guys think it would be a good idea to do the volunteering thing, or should I just push myself to get a job? How do you know you are ready?
Lisa