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Roscoe
27-04-05, 22:03
Hi

My real name is Bart. My anxiety problems started little over 1 year and a half ago. I had been working in shifts (incl. night shifts) for a few years and that really messed up my biological clock. Worse, it also affected my intestines, and it gave me a bad case of anxiety disorder and even the occasional panic attack ("my god, what if it's some kind of bowel cancer?" - I'm sure this may sound familiar to many of you ;) ). I gave up my night shifts immediately (I still do other shifts), took an extended "vacation", and began taking Xeroxat (a relatively mild and non-addictive drug used against depression, anxiety, social disorders, ...), obviously only after seeing a doctor.

For a while, things were really bad. I couldn't eat for most of the day, and was afraid to leave my appartment. I tried to avoid all social contact, even with my closest friends. Soon, things became better, though, and I became able to function again. Still, some of the anxiety lingered, and it has been there ever since. Being a shy, introvert guy, I can still get really nervous about meeting other people - sometimes even when visiting friends. It affects my breathing, and often makes me want to run to the nearest bathroom in a hurry. Worse, I've come to associate those feelings with eating food, as this whole anxiety mess is mainly affecting my intestines. Of course, I also started worrying about it excessively, and I've come to the point where this worrying is sort of dominating most of my day. Eating, usually before noon or when other people are joining me, is often a really big problem. I usually wake up in the morning wondering how long it will take this time for the misery to start again.

Into my life steps this girl then. I met her on New Year's Eve at my brother's - he was throwing a small party. We really connected. It's been a long while since that's happened, so I was getting really nervous. Then came the food. My stomach turned, and I had to flee the party, claiming I was having a bad case of stomach flu (which was going around at that time). Maybe I even believed that was the cause at that time, but now I know better. She lives in the UK, I live in Belgium (she was born in Belgium, moved to the UK a couple of years back, and is probably going to move back to Belgium soon). So we keep in touch through e-mail. And we're still connecting very well. In little over a month, she'll come over and we'll spend the day together. After that, I'm going over there for a week-end. Quite frankly, I'm scared to death. Not of her, of course, I like her a lot and I think this could become something beautiful. But it's like being nervous for your first date, only worse. It's like a bad case of stage fright. And I'm afraid of what might happen come lunchtime or dinnertime.

The weird thing is, we had been talking about seeing each other again for a while, but it was only when she mailed me a definite meet-up date when I sort of freaked. Suddenly, the dreaded meet-up which seemed so far away got very, very real. Again, it's not because of her. She's amazing. But it's the whole "will she still like me" and uncanny, nervous silence thing that has me worried. Not to mention the food thing.

So I've gone back to my doctor, and we started up the Xeroxat-treatment again, only now we'll continue for at least a year or two (previously it had been 8 months). In addition, I'm seeing a psychiatrist in two weeks. I'm gonna try some relaxation techniques, try to do some positive thinking, and look for other stuff that might help (Shiatsu massages, tai-chi, whatever might help). And I'm planning on telling that girl about what's happening. Talking about it is good, and I guess it'll put things in perspective when I reach for my motilium stomach tablets when we go for lunch.

Well, that's my personal little hell in a nutshell. ;)
I'll probably be visiting this site a lot in the forseeable future. It has great advise, and it makes it clear I'm not alone.
I want to beat this thing. I want my life back.

Greetz
Ba

Meg
28-04-05, 09:50
Hi Bart,

Thanks for sharing with us.

Its great to hear how far you've progressed and that you've met someone who you enjoy being with.

You're taking all the right steps to enable you to cope with this and so I hope you have a great meet up

There are dietary changes that you can make that may help your irritable bowel and peppermint anything can calm it too.
We've just written an article on IBS which can be applied to normal anxious hurried intestines too. Its not up on the site yet. Shall I send you it or are you doing well enough as you are ?


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

seh1980
28-04-05, 09:54
hello Bart,

Welcome to the forum!! It sounds like you have come along quite a but - I hope we can continue to help you!!

Sarah :D

Roscoe
28-04-05, 20:13
Thanks for the kind words, all. SpaceCadet, it's somewhat comforting to see I'm not the only one with this issue (not that I'm happy you go through the same thing - I'm sure you know what I mean). Today was a really bad day. I've hardly eaten anything. Even this evening, which is usually my "good part of the day", I felt really tense and hardly managed to eat anything. I went to the drugstore today to get me some vitamin and mineral supplements to help keep up my strength. It almost feels like I'm back to square one... [xx(]

I definitely have to tell this girl what's going on, 'cause I'm tired of worrying about it all day long. I'll be writing that e-mail this week-end, and then hope for the best.

My first therapy session is for the 17th of May. That's still soooooo long away... [V]

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. - Jack Handy

Roscoe
28-04-05, 20:16
BTW, SpaceCadet, I'm glad to see things worked out well between you and your husband. I guess that's sort of an upside of this whole anxiety mess: you learn that people close to you can really surprise you sometimes...

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. - Jack Handy

joe8
28-04-05, 20:57
Hi Bart,

Good luck with the girl you are doing the right thing to tell her. I lost the girl I loved by never finding the way to tell her about the anxious and depressed side of my personality. It just created a tense situation and I ended up losing her by sending stupid text messages. I tried to hide it for too long and couldnt find the way to explain it. All i ended up doing was messing with her head.

So definetly be 100% honest would be my advice - good luck!

Roscoe
28-04-05, 21:36
Will do, joe8. Hopefully, I can post some positive news here in a few days.

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint. - Jack Handy

seh1980
28-04-05, 21:59
Good luck with it Bart - hope it all works out for you. :D

sal
28-04-05, 22:25
Hi Bart

Hope it all works out for you in your email. We are all here to support you. Best of luck mate.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

Karen
28-04-05, 23:16
Hi Bart

Welcome to the forum.

I have problems in social situations too due to social phobia and have spent years avoiding contact with people. This led to me being really isolated. I'm now trying to tackle this, along with other issues.

Hope we are able to help you through this.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

Roscoe
29-04-05, 10:46
Thanks once more for your kind words. I'm doing pretty well today. I woke up with that tense, run-to-the-bathroom-feeling in my stomach, but I convinced myself it's nothing and it will pass. And it worked. :) I already managed to eat half a breakfast bisquit (the ones with extra energy and stuff in it), quite the feat for me this early, and I feel pretty calm right now. I think I'm gonna start with a diary today to keep track of my progress, and because writing about it really seems to help (it took me only a few messages on this forum to discover that, so thanks!). I'll also try to do some things I've been putting off too long (probably adding to my stress in the process), like cleaning up a bit the mess that is my appartment, and go shopping for some stuff I need.

Roscoe
29-04-05, 10:48
Hey Karen

As an introvert, shy person with social anxiety issues myself, I know what you're going through. But I feel like I've made sme progress compared to where I started, so I wanted to let you know the monster can be beaten.

Meg
29-04-05, 14:41
Roscoe

Good for you for taking real steps to doing something positive to help yourself.. Excellent news




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Karen
29-04-05, 21:15
Hi Bart

Good to hear you are making progress and are staying positive. I'm also very slowly making progress with the social phobia thanks to the help of people here.

Well done for battling through the anxiety today and taking action to help yourself.

A diary is also a really good idea. I've been keeping one since last summer and it certainly helps to put thoughts and feelings down in writing.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

sal
29-04-05, 23:01
Hi Mate

Well done on you, with hard work and determination we can move forward and you have showed us that.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.