Breast Checking Fear - *Ladies*

[JoT]

Hi,

I'm not sure if I should put this in HA or Phobia's category, but I have this serious anxiety (almost phobia) about checking my breasts for lumps, as doctors recommend you do monthly.

I just can't bring myself to do it, I am terrified of what I may find. I have fairly large breasts and they are lumpy anyway, it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, even when I attempt to do it I feel sick and scared and I have to stop. Every month for 2 weeks leading up to my period they are extremely painful and I often get hormone related cysts.

I just wish that I could give my boobs to the doctor to check - unfortunately I would have to be attached to them :D . I would find it so embarrassing and I don't think a doctor would do that for me every month anyway.

At 36 I am too young to get regular mammograms, but I'm at the age now where my risk is starting to become higher - so I need to start checking. I wonder how much it would be to get a mammogram privately and would there be any point, how often do they need to be done?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Jo x

[cattttt]

Hi there, I have breasts like you too, always lumpy and really painful for two weeks out of every month, but mine are not too big, so a bit easier to check. Even if they are lumpy, it's still worth doing as what you are looking for is anything that's different. Mammograms in younger people are not all that reliable as breasts are too dense to get a good picture. I know how you feel about checking them, but remember that anything you find is very treatable while it's small, which is why you do the check.

[june]

I just can't bring myself to do it, I am terrified of what I may find.
This is so true.
I did check myself after lots of fear and to my horror i found A SMALL LUMP.
i GOT MYSELF TO THE DOCTOR asap the hospital did mamagrams and scans and the lump was A CYST that did not need any treatment.
IFf i had been younger fitter i would have done cartwheels down the street with relief.
BUT saying all this I am still terrified to examine myself - I do not want to find anything else.
we are silly not to do this but the fear of WHAT IF is greater.
best wishes
June

[sheba2]

Hi there

Why don't you go and see the nurse at your practice and ask her to do the check for you. She can also show you how to do it properly and they also have fake boobs with lumps in to let you feel what to notice. I used to be like you and was terrified but I made myself do the check exactly a week after my period each month. Once I got into the habit I actually became more relaxed about it because I knew that if I found anything it would only have been there for a month and I would be able to get treatment quickly. I am now 52 and have just had my first mammogram which was fine but they make a big thing of telling you that it is not failsafe and that you can obviously still get lumps in the time before the next one so you still have to do a monthly check. Hope this helps. Good luck

[JoT]

Thanks everyone, it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I will try to overcome this. It's better to be safe than sorry.

Jo x

[JennyW]

Hello Jo. I'm exactly the same as you, however I do check mine every month, even though it's done with dread because of what I "might" find.

I was at the clinic in January for a lump which turned out to be cysts and I'm back again next week because I've discovered another lump, which I assume is another cyst but you have to be safe rather than sorry. To be honest, I'm so paranoid about checking myself that in reality I could probably end up at the GP's every month because I've found something else :ohmy: it really is a nightmare but I still do it because the key is early detection.

You should turn it around as a very positive thing to do and that you are on top of the situation. My breasts are also very lumpy and nodular and it does make checking very difficult but I try and make myself familar with my lumps so I know what's normal for me.

Also make sure you check 7/10 days after the last day of your period.

[jojo2316]

Yes yes yes! I'm just like that. I find checking them terrifying. I will avoid it completely and then do it obessively, rushing off to the loo to see if what I felt 5 minutes earlier was really a lumpy bit or a *LUMP*. Eventually I went to the doc who sent me for an ultrasound (they are safer than mammograms if you are under 40). That was great because immediately after the ultrasound I was able to feel my breasts without fear and "get to know" them, without panicking every time I felt a lumpy bit. I recommend it.
Love your blog btw xxx

[JoT]

Thanks Jenny and Jojo :)

Yes, I think I will ask my doc about the ultrasound option and then start checking monthly, have to get used to it.

Jo x

[Janieb]

Heya Jo,

I know where you are coming from, I actually enquired into having private screening. I am not eligible as I have to be 35 or older and for an annual fee you have regular checks and scans throughout the year. Funny enough I read an article the other day saying that woman checking their own breasts sometimes does more harm than good but the article stopped short of saying they we should not check our breasts...odd

None the less I can’t remember the company I approached but I am sure if you did an internet search there are a number of these companies set up.

I worry about breast cancer and all sorts but I only allow myself to worry about it once a month after my period, which can sometimes help as well.

Take care

[strawberrie]

Hi Jo, yes i am exactly the same, i dread doing my monthly check in case i find something, and because i am very lumpy anyway, i usually manage to find something to worry about :blush: I got this info off the breakthrough breast cancer website which i hope may be a little bit reassuring for you. They recommend that you are breast aware and get to know your own breasts (hi breasts,pleased to meet you :ohmy: ) but its more about just being aware of whats normal for you rather than doing a full on check. If this is what they recommend (and they should know what they're talking about) then that makes me think that if there was any change it would probably be pretty obvious. I know that cos i'm so paranoid about it all i will still do a thorough monthly check, but at least i do feel a bit reassured by that.

Breast Self Examination

In the UK we do not promote breast self examination (BSE).
Breast self examination is a rigid self examination routine, usually taught by a heath professional and carried out at the same time each month in exactly the same way. The Department of Health, UK breast cancer charities (including Breakthrough) and other UK health bodies agree that it is not necessary to practice such a complicated procedure. Many women find it difficult and it can provoke unnecessary fear.

Some BSE techniques also advocate the use of ‘self examination aids’. However, there is no proof that such aids work and they only focus on feeling for lumps, rather than looking and feeling for other changes to the breast, skin or nipple.

However, there is agreement that being breast aware is important. Breast awareness encourages women to become familiar with their own breasts, be aware of breast cancer signs and symptoms and to report anything unusual to their doctor as soon as possible.

[Zingara]

Hi Jo,
You're definitely not alone, I feel the way you do too. Re the private checks, I don't know where you live, but there is a private service based in Cambridge called BreastHealthUK, where they do all the scans, including the latest digital/laser/infrared.. whatever..! every two years, and you get to see a consultant for reassurance. I got the leaflet yesterday in the post because the surgeon that runs it did my thryoidectomy, he really is brilliant. I don't know how much it costs but there's no lower age limit. I thought of doing it myself actually. If you want the details pm me and I'll dig them out for you. xxx

[JennyW]

Heya Jo,

I know where you are coming from, I actually enquired into having private screening. I am not eligible as I have to be 35 or older and for an annual fee you have regular checks and scans throughout the year. Funny enough I read an article the other day saying that woman checking their own breasts sometimes does more harm than good but the article stopped short of saying they we should not check our breasts...odd

None the less I can’t remember the company I approached but I am sure if you did an internet search there are a number of these companies set up.

I worry about breast cancer and all sorts but I only allow myself to worry about it once a month after my period, which can sometimes help as well.

Take care

Bupa do breast screening service:
Bupa Breast Health Assessment
This consists of a thorough breast check, including mammography if you're over 40 to help detect early signs of breast disease.
Duration: Up to 30 minutes
Time with Wellwoman nurse: Up to 30 minutes
£112 (£150 with mammogram)

http://www.bupa.co.uk/health_information/html/health_news/020503breast.html

[JoT]

Thanks everyone for the helpful info, I'll be looking into all this.

Jo x

[Janieb]

It would be nice when the blood test to test for breast cancer is developed, I have read a bit about it possibly detecting the desease well in advance!! all of this poking and prodding might hopefully disapear.

[strawberrie]

i've got plenty of male friends who've said (jokingly i hope) that if they had breasts they'd spend all day every day playing with them, little do they know that us anxious women do exactly that, they just don't realise that we're checking for lumps not having fun! :blush:

[JoT]

Yes, and another thing, it's easy for guys to check for lumps on their testicles cos they spend most of the time with their hands in their pants anyway. We don't sit and fondle our boobs out of habit while we are watching TV - as much as they love to think we do :D

[Ophelia105]

oooo I have been desperately scared for ages becuase of my cancer phobia and tonight when I was brave enough manage to tentatively try after about 3 years I found so many lumps, in different places in both breasts and they are hard and I don't know what to do now - I feel like crying as I am so scared..

and I know there is only one thing I should do but I am so scared it's cancer and its too late..

[pd]

Breast cancer was my first ever HA back when I was about 12/13 and didn't have any breasts. Then I mistook 'growing pain' for breast cancer, though I've managed to pretty much get over breast cancer worries.

My hormones tend to go all over the place and my breasts are perpetually sore and achey, and naturally quite lumpy. A few doctors visits has assured me that it's quite normal to have lumpy breasts, and that if something was actually wrong I would know about it.

I don't check them for any new or strange lumps, because like many HA sufferers I have the astonishing ability to make myself think I feel something that isn't there.

[Cell block H fan]

Hi,

I'm not sure if I should put this in HA or Phobia's category, but I have this serious anxiety (almost phobia) about checking my breasts for lumps, as doctors recommend you do monthly.

I just can't bring myself to do it, I am terrified of what I may find. I have fairly large breasts and they are lumpy anyway, it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, even when I attempt to do it I feel sick and scared and I have to stop. Every month for 2 weeks leading up to my period they are extremely painful and I often get hormone related cysts.

I just wish that I could give my boobs to the doctor to check - unfortunately I would have to be attached to them :D . I would find it so embarrassing and I don't think a doctor would do that for me every month anyway.

At 36 I am too young to get regular mammograms, but I'm at the age now where my risk is starting to become higher - so I need to start checking. I wonder how much it would be to get a mammogram privately and would there be any point, how often do they need to be done?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Jo x

I am completely with you on this. In fact I wont check anywhere! Even when I put my make up on I skin over my neck real fast so I dont feel any lumps, its insane! But as you say, its too scary. I am not big chested, but I am still too scared. I get the hormone related soreness in them too & I know I need to check them really, but I am bricking it. I keep putting it off, saying ok I will do it tomorrow as I have to go to work & I dont want to worry whilst i'm at work if there is something there, & it could even just be a cyst if there is something, but I would still be convinced it was something worse, so that thought doesn't work!
I would probably go further than you as to say if I could, I would like the things removed, & at some point will ask the doc about it. I know they wont do it, but I wish they would!

[SharonDerby]

Hi Jot
this is something almost all woman fear, it is in the news and everywhere you look, BUT it is so for a reason, if you find something unusual then you can be seen within days.....not months days because the sooner any lump is investigated the better and more succesful the outcome is.
In my very humble oppinion you could face doing this check once a month if only you realised that it will help your anxiety about it in the long run.
I discovered a lump one day in the shower purely by accident, i'm 46 now i'd say this was about 8 years ago so i was 38, had never really listened about checking etc anyway i was horrified petrified all those things didn't know what to do so phoned the docs who saw me imidiately that day, i was affraid to go not because of the lump but because my boobs are so small i was embarresed but i plucked up the courage and went.
The doc felt the lump str8 away and said he(there was a female nurse there too) would arrange a mamogram, that came within a week, by this time i was almost inconsoleable, i had thought every bad thought going, anyway i went for the mamogram and like most women it turned out to be a cyst which they drained there and then, completely painless and the relife i can not tell you how euphoric i felt.
Anyway i have sinse made sure i check ev month and have had 5 more cysts sinse then, each one frightens me but in my mind i know i'm checking each month so i know even if the worst was to happen i will have caught it within 4 weeks, and thats the message i'm trying to get to you, if you check it's a good thing then you will know that in the remote chance there is a lump you will have done evrything right and got there early..........prevention is better than cure, please do not worry about what you will find i doubt you will find anything but if you do, then congratulate yourself for being brave and doing what everyone is telling us to do.....CHECK YOUR BREASTS REGULARLY.

sHARON :) XXX