bluesparkle
18-07-08, 13:35
well i didnt think i would be posting here after my post tue i had got myself in a right panic.
well i have done it ! took my daughter in for her op and we have both survived.lol
i wanted to post here because i want to give other people hope that things do improve and although never easy for us we CAN do it.
i would normally make every excuse under the sun not to do something like this but there is just me now and my other children.
i have no idea why mr anxiety got quite such a grip on tue morn but he did but i was not going to give in.(after a few kind words from people on here).
anyway i got up thur morn at 5.30am as we had to be on ward at 7am. . . didnt feel to bad until it was time to go to the operating theatre. . . when we got there i was handed a gown hat etc. . . hmmm theatre number 8 has no anasthetic room you go straight into theatre, i wanted to run i was shaking so hard but then i looked at my daughter if i wasnt there for her who would be, so i told her i would see her into the room then leave(my get out clause) but i didnt run i stayed until she had fallen asleep.
she was gone just over four hours. . . oh my god i think thats the longest four hours ever.
panic came and went a few times but i stuck it out. . .
i came home last night leaving youngest in hospital it was something we had discussed before and she wanted me to do, once i got home(10pm) i felt so guilty and a bad mother but i really tried to keep the anxiety/panic at bay.she rang me in tears but i went up first thing this morning and am now home with her here.
i am exhausted people dont understand how achieving something like this takes it out of us both mentally and physically.
but i once again want to thank everyone on here for all there support and for listening to me time and time again.
and also to people who think i wont be able to do that. . . you will in time and dont be to hard on yourself if things dont go exactely to plan just keep trying.
rach
x
well i have done it ! took my daughter in for her op and we have both survived.lol
i wanted to post here because i want to give other people hope that things do improve and although never easy for us we CAN do it.
i would normally make every excuse under the sun not to do something like this but there is just me now and my other children.
i have no idea why mr anxiety got quite such a grip on tue morn but he did but i was not going to give in.(after a few kind words from people on here).
anyway i got up thur morn at 5.30am as we had to be on ward at 7am. . . didnt feel to bad until it was time to go to the operating theatre. . . when we got there i was handed a gown hat etc. . . hmmm theatre number 8 has no anasthetic room you go straight into theatre, i wanted to run i was shaking so hard but then i looked at my daughter if i wasnt there for her who would be, so i told her i would see her into the room then leave(my get out clause) but i didnt run i stayed until she had fallen asleep.
she was gone just over four hours. . . oh my god i think thats the longest four hours ever.
panic came and went a few times but i stuck it out. . .
i came home last night leaving youngest in hospital it was something we had discussed before and she wanted me to do, once i got home(10pm) i felt so guilty and a bad mother but i really tried to keep the anxiety/panic at bay.she rang me in tears but i went up first thing this morning and am now home with her here.
i am exhausted people dont understand how achieving something like this takes it out of us both mentally and physically.
but i once again want to thank everyone on here for all there support and for listening to me time and time again.
and also to people who think i wont be able to do that. . . you will in time and dont be to hard on yourself if things dont go exactely to plan just keep trying.
rach
x