struggling

[titchjd]

Hi ...Im really struggling at the moment I feel like im cracking up ....have suffered anxiety for a while and this is my 2nd post on here but its geting worse ..I had 2 call emergency doc the other day as I felt such intense feelings of cracking up and now wake with anxiety and have feelings all day x He gave me Diazepam but only 2 take when Im realy bad ......How can I get over these intense feelings and start 2 feel human again xxxxxxxx

[Welshlowryder]

Hi there Titch. Totally understand where your coming from. First of all what is going on in your life that you feel this bad ? I myself am on diazpam & have been for yrs, there not such a good thing in my opion, as your body gets used to them so quick & you shouldn't really take them for more than four days, this is fact, even though i have been on 40mg for the last nine odd years. At the moment i am having real problems myself, thoughts of hurting myself & others, scary really. So hence why i am sat in the house doing this. I have been feeling depressed since i was a teenager, it's what's causing it you need to work out. So what is going on in your life at the moment. I myself was beaton badly as a child then removed from my family at a young age, drugs got hold of me badly & i have lost contact with all of my children & family. I dont have many true freinds as i dont trust anyone, & at the moment have just been let down again by the one person i thought i could trust, i always let my gaurd down. If you wanna chat on messanger let me know as i myself find it hard to talk to someone like this. If it works for some then so be it....

Hold your chin up & keep it together..

Welshlowryder..

[titchjd]

Hi just found your message ...Thanx for the post .
Its strange because havent really got anything bad going on in my life apart from these feelings ...ive sufered with anxiety and depression over the years but last few days I just cracked just keep thinking im cracking up I cant go anywhwre or do anythin and even in house I have such intense feelings xxx

Have u had counselling over the years if so didnt that help you at all ?

Diazepam is very addictive I was on it years ago but I didnt take it for long ....what else are you doing to help you cope ?

Take care

[Southern_Belle]

Hi,

Welcome to the site. Many here will understand how you are feeling and you will get support.

Take care,

Laura

[Welshlowryder]

Same as you its not really anythink that really makes me feel down, one minute i can be semi getting on with it then bang a great big feeling hits me & to be honest i want to die. Yes i have had counselling, & sorry to say they have been lost with me as there is so much deep rooted stuff from early years that i wont let go of. So at 33 coming on 34 im living a sadder life than when i was younger. The only good thing is i got of the hard drugs, even though they blanked the horror out, i was getting so ill it was scary. So now i live alone & dont really do much apart from semi chatting to a few select people online. Anyway if there is anythink i can help you with please let me know. We all have our demons, it's just if we face them or not ? I know its seem's rich coming from me, advice i mean, but i would hate to see anyone go down the roads i have been. As believe me there have been alot. So once again feel free to ask me anythink...Welsh....

[marie1974]

hi welsh for wot u have been through u seem a very strong person i sense this from your posts and u have obviously come a long way already, im sorry someone close let u done when u find it so hard to trust. i have had this alot and its really hard choosing to trust again for fear of being hurt. i lost my nan the one person i could always count on, my aunti let me down big style but we have recently mended things after i wrote to her expressing exectly how she made me feel etc and close friends have let me down too. i thought i hated everyone and would never trust, but i gotta otherwise i would be on myown. there are alot of horrid people out there but there are good ones too i promise u. mayb if u did some charity work helping youngsters getting off drugs etc cos u would have lots of experience and would be very valuable. meet some people through charitys mayb drugs related these are the places where u meet the nicest genuine people who want to help other people hugs xx

[Nechtan]

Hi,

You sound very similar to myself and the longer it goes on the more it snowballs. I hope the diazapam is giving you some relief- for some reason I had a bad reaction to it so remain unmedicated.

I'm no expert but personally I think it might be helpful if your doctor could refer you to someone who could talk you through your problems. I was referred to mental health services which helped a little but not alot to be honest so am now waiting to be referred to someone who will give me CBT.

What I have found in my own case which may be the same as your own is that you get the feeling noone really wants to deal with the problem. Had it not been for my wife I'd still be sitting with no help at all because the doctor didn't really want to know and my wife pushed the issue- to be honest I couldn't even talk about it without getting myself in a panic. All I wanted was for someone to explain to me what was going on because it was the unknown that was really scaring me.

I hope you find a way forward that helps you.

All the best

Nechtan

[Welshlowryder]

You have hit the nail on the head, as it always seem's knowone really wants to deal with me, my doctor has no real skills, & when i went to see the mental health team they seemed just as lost with me as i am with myself. In reply to Donna's post i would work with addicts if i could sort out my own life as i am on medication so cant work with other addicts. Also i keep having terribale feeling's of hurting myself as all my life i have soldiered on & thought it will get better, & it doesn't seem to. I know a few reading this will think, blimey pick yourself up & carry on. But believe me im thirty three been in loads of relationships, had three children, two hate me, & one i hardly see due to the mum having her own problems. Got clean of drugs for people to still oviod me. So where do i go from here, not sure. Anyway as i say feel free to ask me anythink & in regards to struggling, just try & take it slow work out what's winding you up & try to deal with it. One thing i will say is i have no-one, honestly, not even family, so if you have one person who you trust call on them.

[marie1974]

aww u know despite wot u going through u are so very strong and people would not judge u or tell u to pick yourself up and carry on cos we are not u and i think personally u have already picked yourself up and carried on as it is and at moment you are struggling with where u go from here kinda thing. although i cant trully understand wot u been through or going through i will listen and try my best to understand and i think sometimes thats all we want is for someone to listen, i understand wot u mean about meds and working with kids and drugs etc mayb in the futue though. i know u will meet some friends on here that u will have things in common with and also they have meetup and outing for different areas. there are people on here with drug related probs who will help u i cant think off hand but if i can think of any i will let u know. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[weeble40]

welcome to NMP hope to see you around sometime

Emma xxx

[Welshlowryder]

Different day & same old S*^t, My life doesn't seem to get any better only worse. Didn't wake till midday today, strange for me as im always up early. So now i know my depression is getting even worse. What to do, im not quite sure to be honest, booked in to see my Doctor tomorrow, not that i think anythink will get done, as i said before they seem lost with me. Also i am having major money problems, i have lost more weight than when i was an addict which isn't good, eaten this evening first time since last week & i have now realized my stomach has shrunk. So really need to sort myself out, just cant seem to, i think every night what im gonna do next day, get this sorted get that sorted, when i wake i sit there & stare into nothing for ages, & really dont feel like facing the world, i even know how bad i look but dont seem to care. Also i haven't been out of the house or seen a single person since last week. Now i have a taste like battery acid in my mouth, & im running out of milk & rizla but am feeling to crap to go out & face anyone. Anyway just felt the need to rant. Really hope others are doing ok & are well.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Titch

A warm :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help

[milly jones]

welcome to nmp

glad u decided to join us

milly xxxx