mumof2
22-07-08, 11:15
Annoyed at myself as I probably being stupidly paranoid, but I just can’t help myself.
My son started school this year at a lovely, friendly school. He’s made friends and is very happy. I’m on friendly terms with many of the mums. He’s been invited to 6 parties this term which I was pretty chuffed about until I discovered that several other children have been to more than twice that number! I’ve spent hours analysing the reasons why he might not have been invited to certain parties and worrying that people do not like me or my son. I know I’m probably being ridiculous as, in most cases, there are good explanations i.e. he doesn’t play with the child, or in one case really doesn’t get on with the child so no wonder he wasn’t on the guest list! He’s one of a few moving to a different class next term, so maybe that’s another reason? We haven’t held a party of our own yet, whereas most of the others have, so I’m sure a lot of them are simply return invites. I’m perfectly aware that not everyone can get invited to every party and I’m sure that many of the kids have been to fewer parties than my son, but it seems to be the same children that get invited all the time! In fact, during a conversation with one mum, I mentioned one party my son was going to and it became clear that her child was not invited but I bet she didn’t spend half the night worrying about it!
I also find myself getting upset if I discover that some of the mums & kids have met up after school, even though we’ve been invited round to play ourselves in the past, when others haven’t. However, I always wait for others to make the first move, I just can’t pluck up the courage to invite people round and so far have never got beyond “you must come round one day” but never actually follow it through with a firm invite!
I went on a night out with the mums recently and although I quite enjoyed myself it was spoilt by my constantly worrying what people thought of me and whether I was boring them. I also felt a bit hurt when I realised that some of them had been on nights out before that I hadn’t been invited to.
There’s one mum who I consider to be very quiet and mouselike. I’ve tried chatting to her before but frankly find her a bit boring! I’m hardly Mrs Extrovert, but consider myself a bit more lively than her! However, her kid is one of those that gets invited to everything. She seems really popular amongst the other mums and its tying me in knots trying to figure out why, so much so that I find myself resenting her which I realise is really unfair. NB. Hers is the child that my son doesn’t like and we once had to physically separate them outside school. It was 6 of one and half a dozen of the other and I reprimanded my child for his behaviour and made him apologise, yet she did nothing which frankly made me dislike her even more.
I know I really need to snap out of this as I have years of this ahead of me and have to learn how to handle it. I feel that I’m back at school myself. I was often the kid that got left out at school (was also bullied) which may explain why I’m reacting like this. I’m terrified that history might repeat itself for my children and want to do everything in my power to prevent it! Can anyone else relate to this?
Thanks for listening, but I just had to get it off my chest.
My son started school this year at a lovely, friendly school. He’s made friends and is very happy. I’m on friendly terms with many of the mums. He’s been invited to 6 parties this term which I was pretty chuffed about until I discovered that several other children have been to more than twice that number! I’ve spent hours analysing the reasons why he might not have been invited to certain parties and worrying that people do not like me or my son. I know I’m probably being ridiculous as, in most cases, there are good explanations i.e. he doesn’t play with the child, or in one case really doesn’t get on with the child so no wonder he wasn’t on the guest list! He’s one of a few moving to a different class next term, so maybe that’s another reason? We haven’t held a party of our own yet, whereas most of the others have, so I’m sure a lot of them are simply return invites. I’m perfectly aware that not everyone can get invited to every party and I’m sure that many of the kids have been to fewer parties than my son, but it seems to be the same children that get invited all the time! In fact, during a conversation with one mum, I mentioned one party my son was going to and it became clear that her child was not invited but I bet she didn’t spend half the night worrying about it!
I also find myself getting upset if I discover that some of the mums & kids have met up after school, even though we’ve been invited round to play ourselves in the past, when others haven’t. However, I always wait for others to make the first move, I just can’t pluck up the courage to invite people round and so far have never got beyond “you must come round one day” but never actually follow it through with a firm invite!
I went on a night out with the mums recently and although I quite enjoyed myself it was spoilt by my constantly worrying what people thought of me and whether I was boring them. I also felt a bit hurt when I realised that some of them had been on nights out before that I hadn’t been invited to.
There’s one mum who I consider to be very quiet and mouselike. I’ve tried chatting to her before but frankly find her a bit boring! I’m hardly Mrs Extrovert, but consider myself a bit more lively than her! However, her kid is one of those that gets invited to everything. She seems really popular amongst the other mums and its tying me in knots trying to figure out why, so much so that I find myself resenting her which I realise is really unfair. NB. Hers is the child that my son doesn’t like and we once had to physically separate them outside school. It was 6 of one and half a dozen of the other and I reprimanded my child for his behaviour and made him apologise, yet she did nothing which frankly made me dislike her even more.
I know I really need to snap out of this as I have years of this ahead of me and have to learn how to handle it. I feel that I’m back at school myself. I was often the kid that got left out at school (was also bullied) which may explain why I’m reacting like this. I’m terrified that history might repeat itself for my children and want to do everything in my power to prevent it! Can anyone else relate to this?
Thanks for listening, but I just had to get it off my chest.