thats it no more cant take it

[tracy1972]

well it happened again about 3 months ago my mate (or So i thought) had his house repossesed so i said he could move in with us there is only the sofa but he was quite happy all i asked for was jobs around the house if he couldnt afford £20 a week towards food and bits but that didnt happen either then he pays for my car to be mended and says no rush i arranged to give it back in a month he was fine with that then today i get a phone call from his brother in law saying he wants the money back now y couldnt he say somethng direct to me he has not even helped when his 3 kids have been here for the weekend and to top the lot he is going on his second holiday this year on saturday cant even afford to take my lot on one holiday have i been used or what so i have packed all his stuff up and it is here ready for him when he gets back. am i being a cow or am i within my right i feel like he has totally used and abused me and my family he is even callin g my kids f*****g c*** and lots of other names especially my child with adhd cant take anymore thought he was supposed to be different and my best mate what did i do it for totally beating myself up about tis am i being totally out of order for throwing him out my husband even tried talking to him for 3 hours the other night about paying something towards food or helping and he just laughed and shrugged his shoulders. sorry to moan but need to know wether i am in the right or not or am i being selfish.

[alswife]

Hi Tracy

Well I dont think you're being selfish! There's only so much someone can put up with and you've already put up with far too much by the sound of it. I had a friend to stay with me a few years ago now because his mum kicked him out and he had nowhere to go, he didnt give me any money and left the place like a pigsty - I had to tell him to go and I didnt feel bad about it, at the end of the day it was my home and he didnt respect that. Your friend sounds like he'd better off getting his own place, maybe he should have used the money for his holiday on a deposit?

I hope everything works out ok for you.

Joanna

[milly jones]

i agree hun

i think that some ppl take others for granted. they appear to target us with anx and manipulate our sensitivity.

i would in some way ask him to move on.

i certainly could not have him talking to/about my son like that.

hes outstayed hois welcome, time to move on

milly xxx

[scooby28]

No i think he is taking advantage of your kindness, 3 months is too long not to contribute anything especially if he is going on holidays

[marie1974]

aww hun i had a similar thing happen to me with a close male friend well he was not now, when he had no money and moved house i helped feed him etc and he turned out to be a user and not the person who i thought he was. it really really hurt me cos i really thought he was a lovely and he took me for a right mug. never again i learnt my lesson, i help people but i have my limitrs now and me and my family always come first. i know its sounds selfish hun but think of yourself and your own family cos no one else will and there are some really selfish users in this world. i think u are well shot and i wouldnt have him as your mate any more cos mates dont treat u that way ever. hugs to u xxx

[marie1974]

also milly is dead right some people target people who appear vulnerable or just very helpful and nice and manipulate the situation i had the exact thing happen to me with someone i thought was a true friend i let my barriers down with too and he abused my friendship. i hate him now and realised how insecure and paranoid and lonely he is and how caring and genuine i am and i would never want to be like him and he was jealous.

[tracy1972]

thank you evryone i spoke to him face to face the other day as him and his brother in law kept txt me and i thought s** u i will have the bottle so i rang im and said if you want to sort this out and have a friend at the end of this come round my place now and sort this out and yes some of the things he was telling the truth we r still friends but he is moving out so i get my house back and my son and daughters got an appology for what he said to them and my other son got his money back he borrowed and we r staying friends but my barriers are staying firmly up and nt coming down thnakls again thought i would let u all know

[marie1974]

im really glad u got it sorted out tracey, some people really try and take advantage of our good nature hugs xxxx