feel mad

[kellyw]

does anyone ever feel like they are just going totally mad!!
today i feel like i cant think straight, jumbled thoughts, feel scared of nothing in particular, feel slightly off balance, like im drunk, feel really disconnected from everything, feel like my memory has holes in it. feel like when i talk i dont make sense and keep losing the thread of what im saying, feel a bit mixed up mentally.
just wondered if anyone else feels this way or am i going mad!!??
take good care
kelly xx

[sarah peacock]

Your not going mad. Believe me, i have felt like that alot. I get really depersonalised and can't concantrate on anything. I will be half way through a conversation and forget what i'm talkin about. I get jumpy and on edge for no particular reason.etc... Try to remember it's just your anxiety. x

[kellyw]

thanks sarah, its so scarey i feel really isolated in my own head with all these mad stupid thoughts, i feel sure people must notice and thing im totally nuts. i wish it would just stop.
xx

[sarah peacock]

No worries. The thing i've noticed over the yrs is that no matter how bad i feel or how strange i think i'm acting, nobody actually notices.

[polly123]

Hiya Kelly,
No hun your certainly not going mad i thinks its down to the problems we have with anxiety, i bet over half the people on this site understand how you feel me included, so does that mean we are all mad???? i dont think so lol, when i feel this way i try and occupy myself with something like reading a good book or doing some baking i often find this helps me
all the best POLLY

[jenfromdenver]

i feel like that basically every day :) well, most days. i dont have a cure for it tho, i just try to maintain and hope tomorrow will be easier. hang in there, things will get better!

[kellyw]

thanks so much everyone,
it is the most horrible feeling isnt it. i feel like i am on the verge of doing or saying something really insane!!
its like someone has poured glue in my head.
im sorry you all feel like that too but im glad im not the only person.
take good care
kelly xxx

[kellyw]

polly, i would like to bake or something but i find when i feel like this even the most simple instructions are hard to follow, my brain just doesnt take in what is written on the page and i find it really difficult.
xxx

[Tweek]

I can be in the middle of a conversation and then I suddenly realise I cannot understand a word this person is saying to me! lol It's like Charlie Browns teacher! Wahwahawahwawhawhawhahwahwahwahwah.... lol

And if they carrry on talking when I feel like that I have to tell them to shut up or just stop talking and they can't see anything wrong with me so they think I'm being rude, but in reality every word sends me closer to a full blown panic attack. I start thinking they're seeing weakness and going for the kill and I can start to get angry at them for continuing to talk at me.

When I'm "normal" I see this is obviously not their fault, but in that state of mind and it just hiuts you out of the blue too, it's perfectly rational to tel someone to stop talking and think they're attacking you by speaking.

Purely fight or flight response taking on strange symptoms.

I don't tell people this as they'll think I'm a fruitcake. Sometimes I think about hubble photos and how small and pointless it all is... humanity... then once I stop panicking (because that's what that thinking is part of) I feel OK again. Content to be a dot on a rock lol

I'm just trying to say I understand completely and you aren't going nuts. I've seriously thought I was losing it a few times but I'm fine now apart from panicking for no reason at all and out of the blue. Just got to learn to deal with it and it'll fade away eventually.

[kellyw]

hey tweek, thanks so much. im feeling the same again today. my best friend is getting married tomorrow nad i have a whole day helping set up the marquee etc. im freaking out a bit cause i just feel like i cant follow the simplest instruction. if anyone asks me a direct question i feel instantly panic stricken and my mind goes blank. my husband just asked me what we are doing with the kids this afternoon and i couldnt even really understand what he was on about. im so worried he thinks im losing it.
my brain just feels so muddled its really horrible.
im also looking at things in a really negative way. questioning my marriage, which i know is rock solid, my relationship with my kids, which is also wonderful. i feel tearful and out of control. i worry all the time that they are secretly thinking im going mad.
what a state to get into.
the thing that is keeping me going is knowing that i have the presence of mind to realise that this is only going on in my head, if that makes sense??!!
take good care
kelly xxx

[bab]

Hi Kelly

If I had a pound for every time I said to my husband I am going mad - O be so bloody rich. Every single day I say I feel funny or wierd or not right. its a classic anxiety symptom and the more you think about it the worse it gets - just say to yourself - I feel like this - so bloody what. And you are the total opposite of going mad - its the people who worry about going mad that never will.

lots of love

Nicky x

[kellyw]

thanks so much nicky,
you know im so fed up with myself for having all this whizzing round in my head. its the most beuatiful day, my best friend is getting married tomorrow and im just eaten up with all this angst.
i used to be the most sociable outgoing person and lately i struggle with the simplest things, the only good thing is that no one is aware of it. i keep turning up as they say but the s**t in my head is just so hard to handle sometimes.
right im gonna get myself together and go and help my friend, im gonna concentrate on her today, she actually has a reason to feel anxious!!!!
take good care
love kelly xxxxxxx


This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter

[s7519jc]

Hi there I do suffer from this as well, I have just been diagnosed with panic attacks and anxiety, its a horrible feeling but will try and stay positive, going for a walk later as I aint been out since 10 and I feel a bit stir crazy x

[Tweek]

You ain't been out since 10? I havn't been out since... 2 months ago... lol

Lightweight! ahahaha

[Tweek]

Kelly do you take medication at all? Side effects can include confusion and panic attacks, even if you didn't have them before, with various drugs.

[kellyw]

hi tweek,
i do take meds but they are for a heart condition, i asked my consultant recently if they could be making me feel so anxious and he said absolutely not. shame really it would be so nice to have a reason for feeling this rubbish.
when i first joined nmp i wrote a very long detailed thread about how i found myself to be in this position, it has all spiralled from health problems taht i am finding hard to come to terms with. i wont go into the details here as it caused some strong reactions last time and i cant face all that again, but im sure you can find it if you are interested.
thanks for taking the time to reply, oh and love the humour about not getting out for 2 months!!!!
take good care
kelly x

[Tweek]

...no really... two months I havn't even been in the garden. I'm a virtual hermit. lol

[kellyw]

hi tweek, im so sorry, i didnt mean to make light of the way you are feeling. it was just the way you had written it, just seemed funny. sorry again i hope i didnt offend you. it must be awful to have not been out for that time. are you getting any help at all. it makes me feel sad to think that the sun is shining and its such a lovely day and you wont be able to enjoy it.
take good care
love kelly x

[Tweek]

Don't worry kelly, I'm not offended at all mate. :)

I am on citalopram and I am improving slowly like. I have an exercise bike and a few good mates who come round a lot, so I'm not totally out of the game.

I'm a redhead and prone to sunburn at the best of times, but on citalopram I BURN. It's crazy. Even says it in the instructions leaflet thing "may increase skin sensitivity to sunlight." and it does. I was standing in the kitchen door waiting for the kettle to boil and the rest of the day I had a burning face. 2 minutes max I stood there. I'm not even particularly pale. very strange. Instaburn! lol

I prefer autumn anyway. ;)

[kellyw]

hi tweek,
my mums a redhead and absolutley hates the sun, she burns os easily.
im glad things are improving for you, and it doesnt matter how long it takes really every step in the right direction is good. i love autumn too, im an autumn baby and its always been my favourite season.
heres hoping with the progress you are making you will be able to really enjoiy autumn this year and who knows you could be walking in the woods kicking the leaves around wrapped up in some nice warm clothes enjoying the chill in the air.
take good care
kelly x

[Pink Panic]

Hi Kelly

I have been working in my CBT on the theory that i sometimes think i'm going mad and what was suggested by my Counsellor was to write down the evidence that i have to validate this theory then write down the evidenc i have that it isn't true. On my list i had the fact that i had been seen by various health professionals and 2 Psychs and none of them said i was mad and i also wrote down other stuff unique to me and when i read it back it really helped to make sense of how i was feeling. Perhaps this might help you too?

Pink
xxx

[kellyw]

hey pink,
thanks so much, that really is a brilliant idea.
i am going to give that a go.
take good care
kelly xx

[Pink Panic]

No probs Kelly. :hugs: You are welcome.

Love
Pink
xxx