I'm Worried About How Negative I Have Become?

[samtheman]

This worries me, I wonder if you are similar. All I do is complane, I find fault with everything, I always see the bad side of everything. I can be and am very ignorant and rude. I am never happy, infact can't remember the last time I was happy. I don't find any joy in anything normal people find joyful. I'd laugh at say an old woman tripping falling:lac: I have no compassion, I a very cold got, IE my wifes uncle recently died, sure I did the entire sad act but if I was honest I couldn't of cared less. I know that sounds bad but thats how I feel. Did you ever see the film As Good as It Gets (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119822/)with Jack Nicholson, I'd describe myself as his character.

It makes me sad that I am like this, But I think with anxiety and depression its hard to be anything else.

Any advice much appreciated

[milly jones]

sometimes we become so numb to our feelings because they hurt so much we shut them away and it appears we have no apathy for others.

we can even not be aware of any emotions.

i think this protects us as we are vulnerable ppl, and the hard outer shell stops anyone from meeting the real us inside.

sometimes when ur depressed u dont even see the beauty in the world, u dont feel the sunshine, or laugh at a baby giggling.

the whole world drags u down and everything is an effort. it is then easy to find fault and become like victor meldrew ablout life.

i realsie i was getting better when i noticed glistening cobwebs in the morning on the way to work. or when u hear the birds singing at dawn.

feeling more positive about life and urself is not something u can learn to do. its something u need to learn to feel.

for me it was about having appropriate therapy and medication, to unlock the repressed emotions hidden inside my head.

after my self esteem began to recover, i started to live again.

i do hope that u too find peace

milly xxx

[marie1974]

hi sam i can understand wot u mean sometimes we react in this way to kind of protect ourselves and saves us getting hurt if we just remain so negative and at times stand offish. i feel exactly the same as u do in a way with my parents and i lack alot of emotions with them. with me its cos i have had so much anger and hurt that i have felt from them for so long that now im almost numb to them and its like even if they suddenly change there ways and acted exactly the way i wished they had years ago, i dont think i could change how i feel now cos i mentally drained and damaged and my barriers are way high. dont feel bad for how u are feeling sam, u r just protecting yourself i think and sometimes we need too and we lose track of real emotions and how we feel. dont be sad, chin up and giv me a smile hun hugs xxxxxxxx

[dave11282]

I love that film, I totally relate to his character.

The other posts have it spot on, with chronic anxiety, we protect ourselves, because the anxiety makes you feel threatened all the time, so we hide, are probably less likely to socialise, we feel we cannot open ourselves up to others .

This is our natural repsonse to the way we are. I know I personally inherited my anxiety from my parents. My mum lived off Valium, died a nervous reck. My father was a pessimist & depressive. I then had a serious motorcycle accident @ 18, which scarred me with PTSD. What a combination. I did not stand a chance.

I have lived a recluse all my life because of these factors.
I often think the harder we try to fight these feelings the more they bite us.
A therapist once said to me we sometimes have to accept things the way they are. Maybe through the power of acceptance we can find a life. I am 44 next month, I have no family, no friends, only work. I then find peace in my mind that there are millions like us on this planet, and then I dont really feel alone anymore.

You can change what you do, but you cannot change who you are. Accept who we are, there a 100s of ways to cope with this curse of anxiety. We porbably know most of them through great forums like this one.

All I can end with, is that you are not alone, and we know how you feel.

[Dave Jordan]

Go and see your gp! I have been like this for thirty years i have lost my partmer and kids you must talk to someone! It will get easyer!!

Dave