the lesser of two evils???

[bethyboo]

ive been on medication for 5 months now and its my third time for panic attacks and severe anxiety. thank god the worst of the symptons are gone, depersonalization,agraphobia,not being able to go in shops, buses,trains,talk to stangers. but now although my life is much calmer and i can cope with things better i still feel so rubbish. instead of having up and down days i am just cpmletely numb to every emotion. i cant cry, i dont laugh, i have lost all my ummphh if anyone can understand that. i have no sexual feelings whatsoever, i just plod along and although i know this sounds ungrateful of me it is just so frustrating. while i am grateful that i am no longer in torment i am still so unhappy that i FEEL like im on medication, all my feelings have been blocked and knumbed, this is very hard to describe, does anyone else feel like this. i know its not a state of mind or that im depressed cos i dont feel depressed, i just dont feel anyhting except like plodding along, but i WANT to feel something. i want to feel normal, i want to be able to cry when soemthing upsets me or laugh with my freinds and get that same hearty feeling of happiness over stupid simple things but instead im just a calm numbed plodder. ill be seeing a pscotherapist soon but gos this illness is so tiring and draining x


beth xx

[florence]

Hi Bethyboo

Yes, I can understand perfectly what you mean , and I 've been there sometimes myself. You feel like you don't have your normal "human" feelings huh, feeling totally blank.
I've seen myself being upset many times and yet not able to cry...which is usually unlikely for me.
I think sometimes anxiety has that effect on these feelings, sort of "masking" them....especially libido, like you said.
But also , medication can have that effect too...I remember being on Prozac for 6-8 months, and , indeed, my feelings were numbed. Not always nice.

Take care for now.
Florence.

**To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.**

[seh1980]

hi Beth,

I know exactly how you are feeling. Meds can often make you feel that way. Mine made me feel that way for the first six months or so but after that, I started being emotional again. Maybe this is the way it will be for you..When it happened to me, it did frustrate me loads but if I had the choice between having no life due to panic attacks and feeling emotionless, I know which one I would take..

Sarah :D

[henri]

hi beth,
i've never been on meds properly and weirdly, i've experienced this too. am going to start psychotherapy soon too - hope they can help us!
henri x

[LisaS]

hi Beth,
the last few days i've been feeling like this too. I was on prozac for 6 weeks which didn't do much for me, now i've been on effexor for 3 weeks. I feel very calm and can almost do anything with no fear, but like you, i dont seem to be able to be pleased with this, or excited about anything. just like you describe.. i have been told that this doesn' t last as you begin to get your life back on track. fingers crossed.
what med are you taking out of interest?
love lisa
xxx

[Meg]

Bethy,

Remember these meds are mood altering meds and whilst they're good for helping shift the symptoms of anxiety and depression they do alter your emotional response in other ways and can numb all responses... if you think about it you can see the logic in why that happens.




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[bethyboo]

thanku for ur replies, im on effexor by the way and will be seeing a psycotherapist soon but like u said am praying that things get more normal, i know the truth is i wouldnt want to go back to how i felt before but god it is so draining, all i want is to be normal and while i totally accept that after 8 years of this i probably never will be it is a very tireing process, literally a day by day, it would be so nice to be able to look forward to the future but like i said i should be gratefull that while it is the lesser of two evils it is also whats keeping me going x

beth xx

[seh1980]

Beth - I hope it all goes well with the psychotherapist. Let us know how it goes..:D

[EmmaJane]

Hi Beth,

Ive been on prozac, since christmas and I feel exactly the same as you. No emotions. Infact, this evening I was watching the video of me having our 16 month old. My husband filmed it and I havent seen it before.

I didnt feel any emotion at all, it was like I was watching anybody. It didnt feel like that was my baby. I can totally understand how you feel.

Take care.



Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

[sal]

Hi Beth

It is draining and can take away all the emotions we once felt but didnt appreciate, but now we want them back and realise how much they made us who we are. In time you will get more settled and back to how you were, with the added benefit that you have overcome a major part of your life and will be a stronger person for it, with a lot more valuable knowledge and understanding of others.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.