View Full Version : 100% recovered??
Hello all,
after vernons thread about recovery and micos response to read if anyone has recovered, to what exent i would write the following.
When i was diagionsed by GP and subsequent pshyciatris that i was suffering with anxiety i was in bits. It took no rest, it was with me every moment of the day, every thought scared me, every movement frightened me, i had no rest at all. this was back in march 2004 after I suffered a mild concussion, I was so worried i had damaged my brain permantely it took over my life, when this was cleared up i then thought i had scizoprinia, when this was resolved i convinced myself i was bi polar depressive, when this was cleared up i was convinced i had epilepsy.....and then diabetes, then....well then anything i read about as my symptons were unbeaable and couldnt just be anxiety!!
I was so tired, tiredness that made me almost fall asleep when driving, a tiredness of mind and body a tirdenss that made me say this is not normaL AND CANT BE ANXIETY!!
i had headaches, crushing headaches, headaches that made my vision go double, my face ached, I had tinnitus in my ears all the time........i thought i was truly going mad.....i was convinced of this fact.........i found it hard to function at all.......
i had thoughts that i might kill someone, terible scary images which just reinforced my belief of insanity, i had thoughts of hurting my wife, family......horrendous thoughts......thoughts that almost redcuced me to tears at times...........thoughts that made no sense so...i must be mad........
i was scared to go shopping, scared to talk to people scared to go near small children....as what if i did something to them???!!! scared to speak to starngers in case i started barking like a dog!!! i know it sounds crazy but i truly belived that any of these things could happen....and probably would happen.
I searched and searched the world looking for an answer as it just couldnt be worry..........it had to be something worse..........
so......how did i get better??
well, firstly i never ever stopped doing things, like going to the shops, like talking to people, always went to work....and belive me if anyone says he mustne of been that bad i can tell you it was a struggle beyond belive.......i was borderline hospital case but i never ever stopped functioning even on a very redcued level.......i couldnt and wouldnt give up.
i started to make sure my diet was correct, sensible meals at sensible times, i made sure i got out every day.........but the real brake through for me came in accpeting, just simple acceptance and patience.
accpeting that tommorow i wouldnt feel perfect, accpeting it was just anxiety and being patient in the fact that it would ease. Not being afarid of my thoughts, just accepting them as thoughts not instructions, laughing at there studipness.........
learning that your thoughts control your body, think frightening and be frightened, and accetping that..........accepting that these thoughts are just thoughts.
i also accepted that DR and DP are just normal responses to stress and inward thinking....and when this strange feeling came along just go with it....its just a chemical response and your bodies way of dealing with your thoughts, not impending doom of insanity........and it eases........
when i began to see that my body and mind were easing by just simple being paitent and accepting this situation for what it is, just worry, life became simplier. i began to see my personality return, though a little more understanding this time, i began to recognise some of my thinking as exstreme in the past and by doing this you can deal with smaller issues on a more realistic basis. and this has helped enormoulsy in recent months.
my doctor once said it taken a long time to get to this state and it will take a long time to recover, and he was right, we want rid of this tommorow but by hoping for this we are only perpetulating the worry and despair when it doesnt happen, accpet it wont happen tommorow or the day after but do accept that it will happe
thats an amazing story doddy. thank you.
when i am feeling there is no end, although those times are slowly getting less, i will read your story.
I totally agree its acceptance and patience. I wish you could buy those in a bottle!!
must go - i'm burning dinner!
Lisa
xxx
Doddy, I'm just having a bad spell as we speak and reading that has made me feel so much better you can't believe. I've experienced a lot of what you've been through only this time I'm concentrating all my thoughts and energies into one fear, my throat. I'm at the stage where I've accepted there's nothing wrong, I've accepted that I can have bad days and that's all they are. My main concern is that it might never really go and always be lurking about in the shadows with me always concious of it. After reading your post, I am starting to feel a bit more light hearted than I have done all day.
Thank you so much for an excellent post and WELL DONE to you!
BEST wishes,
Mark
I can vouch for Doddy hard work at this .
I have over 200 emails we had back and forth over the last few months which clearly depict his progress.
proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress
Its a gradual process and its one that needs work and dedication.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
fully agree with doddy 80% even is a great achievment as when i was low I dont think I was 2%. And thats another problem I am trying to beat thats patience, I am very inpatient but I am 90% better than I was a year ago.
Well done Doddy. All your hard work and determination has paid off. You've done so well.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
thank you for your replies.......
there is nothing inside me which isnt in each and everyone of you and I know that with time, patience, accpetance, support and good solid information this anxiety state does not need to be permanent.
meg......a thank you from the bottom of my heart for you support, caring, wise words and frienship........you gave light in the darkness......and you were right.....patience and accpetance are the key....did i ever doubt you??? lol
andy
Lol , I recall several times when you said - thats it ... I'm off for meds and I can't do this any more and it was all too much.. a couple of times I'd come home to several emails and we'd work through each fear time and again and then one day I came home to 2 emails - one in despair and the next saying it had passed and was now ok.
Then, I knew you'd turned the corner and would be fine. You clicked finally that it is not the amount of times you get scared but the intensity and duration that change first... and how to start to shift it
Well done.
Hi Doddy,
Just want to say WELL DONE for getting where you are now:D I am sooo happy for you.
I too am alot better, You are right that the pecentage dose not matter, I used to say I am 98% better most days 100%, but the 2% dose not matter. :D I am 100% better :D
Your post WILL show other people that this can be beaten
TAKE CARE
WISHING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HEALTH AND HAPPINESS
LOVE JILLXXX
May your troubles be less
and your blessings be more
and nothing but happiness
come through your door.
Hi Doddy - I think you are so right.
The first time you realise that if rather than worrying about when you'll be free of anxiety, you think well I'll learn to live beside it and ask for help/reassurance as and when I need it and try and get on with things meantime, then I think you turn a corner (even if this seems a small corner at the time).
I found also trying to change your perspective at the same time and really work on the old self-esteem issue is a worthwhile goal - exactly as was said to you, it took a long time to get into this state so you can't possibly expect an instant cure.
It's also important to remember everybody in the world has anxieties and worries so it's not at all realistic to think you'll never to feel anxious again. I suppose we just want to feel ok in everyday situations don't we.
I'm getting there - 'slow but steady wins the race'.
Love Piglet:)
Hello Doddy,
It's fantastic that you have done so well,your right it's vital not to stop doing your normal things otherwise it spirals out of control very quickly.
Congratulations Doddy:D:D
Maxine xx
Well Doddy, after reading your post and Megs comments. I decided to go ahead and make the move to go out of the house again. I went to vote and then to work to hand in my sick certificate (my mum usually takes it). It's been 5 months since I've seen everyone and I was very anxious going in but forced myself. Once in the office I had a very strange tunnel like vision and had a very surreal feeling but I walked up to my boss and had a chat. I thought at that point that I was going to just go in, drop off the certificate and run. I ended up with a crowd of 6 people around me chatting away and whilst aware of my anxiety (my throat), I carried on and blanked it best I could. After this I went into town to the post office to pick up a parcel and then back home. I'm really glad I did it but certainly feeling a bit iffy for it now.
My throat anxiety is pretty bad since getting home but I'm trying to just plug on and keep looking back at your post, it REALLY is helping me doddy!
I have also just come off valium over the past 2 days after 3 months and doubled my anti depressant dose on Tuesday which I'm sure are both playing a big part of this too. Still, I'm sure I'll settle down soon and will go out again over the next day or so and try to do things again.
Once again thanks for your inspiring post, if I hadn't have read it, I don't think I'd have made this move even though I'm feeling pretty edgy right now, I'm glad I did it!
Best Regards,
Mark
Mark,
**I'm really glad I did it but certainly feeling a bit iffy for it now.**
Keep congratulating yourself and give yourself a token that reminds you of todays HUGE step forward .. a CD, book, treat.
You did great - so despite feeling rubbish for some of it, you surpassed what you expected too.
Now you're 'coming down' from the rush, so gentle pleasant evening and once in bed tonight run through today again and really smile widely and chuckle at the good bits and try to rationalize the difficult bits..
Don't forget to journal it all too, so if you're blipping out one day you can refer back to how you were so thrilled today
You now need to go and do something similar in a day or two - doesn't have to be tomorrow but soon..
Well done Mark !!
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Thank you so much Meg, your advise and encouragement are *so* helpful and *very* much appreciated.
Thank you....!
Mark
MJH,
a truly great first step, and its those little steps that soon add up to a great distance..........
I loved the bit about chatting to 6 people but still be aware of your anxiety, i use to do this ALL the time.........but as soon began to just accept it being there, felt really odd but just kept on chatting, and you now over time, probably a few months or so id be chatting for ages then just remember my anxiety and then it would pass. I know after reading about it tonight it probably happen tommorow but i will just give it a little smile and carry on with my chat.
Im so pleased my post has helped you, it was written from the heart so it feels really nice to know its helped.....many thanks for that kind comment.
as meg says, start the journal, it will make u feel tired doing what youve done today but do tyr it again.........and again....and again.......and trust me my friends it does get easier.....just accpet it being there............
please keep updating as i am really interested in your recovery.......and thats what i think uve just started....recovery.....
good luck my freind.
andy
Andy
I am so truly pleased for you. I know that you need to be strong now for Sally. I have so much admiration for you and envy your relationship. You have a unique bond and I know that you are both strong for each other and give unfailing support. Asking nothing in return just love and respect. You are indeed an inspiration .
Well done and take care
loads of love and hugs to you both
Janine
Wow Doddy
Look at you now!!!!!!!!
I am so pleased for you, I agree so much about the acceptance, it has been a turning point for me too.
After acceptance came a new calm - still hard word but so much easier, when you stop saying "WHY ME" and start saying OK so this is me it is amazing how things improve from there.
Keep up teh good work Doddy - so proud of you:D[^]:)[:P][Yeah!]
I love this success story and thought it was worth bringing it to the top again for new comers to view!
Well done Doddy!
Rach xxxx
"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)
Hi Doddy and Congrats
I couldn't agree more. I forced myself to go back to work and refuse to have a sick day no matter what.
I still have not so good days but I'm getting there.
Phill
Don't believe everything you think.
nomorepanic
08-10-05, 14:36
Rach - thanks for making it active again.
Andy is doing great. He was going to come to the meet-up at Alton Towers but had to work but I have spoken to him and he seemed to be in control of things and enjoying life.
Meg may have another update for you cos I know she keeps in touch with him.
Nicola
"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"
No problem Nicola. I just think its such a great success story that everyone should get a chance to read it. I pm'd him recently too and he got straight back to me - really nice bloke - and yes he says he's still doing really well!
Rach xxxx
"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)
Tygwyn,
Thank you so much for bringing this topic back up!
I can relate to all of this!!
Wow!
"Honey, if ya ain't feelin' the bumps in the road, ya ain't goin' nowhere!" (A wise Georgia Granny's take on living life to the fullest! LOL!)
Doddy,
Thanks for posting your story.
What a fantastic sucsess! You are an inspiration! You are so right. Acceptance and patience play such a vital role in coping with anxiety and recovering etc...
WELL DONE YOU!
Take Care,
Love PIP'S X X
hey folks,
thanks for brining this one back...i kinda like it...lol..and love the praise...lol
anyways its been some time since i posted so here goes.
the last 2 months or so id say yep im recovered.....did something a little silly the other day and put myself back into the worry cycle...but you know what....a year ago this would have been with me for months but it took perhaps 24 hours and it was sorted....thanks to the wise friendly ear of meg.....
anyways....i tried last month of actaully laughing aloud to the odd thoughts...even singing them...lol..and it helps...takes the serouness out of them...makes u not fear them...and when the fear has gone then they dont matter anymore........and it really has worked well........i can baely remember what this was like anymore......and even if i do it doesnt boter me at all...it was just a part of my life that happened......and life is like that....and to be honest truly belive that im a btter person for having this........
i just decided that it was time to STOP....to end this.....and move on....i know you will think i wish i could just stop it...but you can.....i turly belive you can.....its there if we allow it to be......
i wake up the morning now and it might be 5pm beore i think...god i have worried today or had an odd thought......and then what if they come back??/...so i just say yep what if they do...who cares...and before i know where i am ive made a brew and had a fag...lol.....and its gone.......these little flashes dont scare me anymore now......and i know as time goes by they will fade furher.....they have faded so much now i really dont thnk they will bother me again.
anyways..im rambleing....just to say........yes this can be beaten....yes you can get bettter...no our life wont be plagued by this.....its just worry...lol...nothing more nothing less....just silly little worry.....dont be bluffed by thought as clare weekes would say...and she right.
when i look back on last year i can actually smile now....and say god that was a crazy carzy ride.........but hey these things happen and it was just an issue that needed solving and it got solved....so onto the next job!!!!
take care all you fine folk and never ever give up.........life is just waiting for you to find it again...and its just around the corner....trust me i know.
andy
Wow, what a truly inspiring story. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the update.
It is great to know that once you have recovered you can keep going forward.
Well done!!
Tammy x
THANK YOU DODDY
read this post from start to finish you are an inspiration i will remeber lots you said and try it out at work tonight
thanks again and to rach for bringing it active again
dan
Great to hear you are doing so well Andy.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
**I did something a little silly the other day**
Is that what you call it !!
I may have been gentle with you on email but don't ask for help again for that particular trick, you won't get the same reception twice !! lol
meg...lol..no worries there....lol..........
now everyone will wonder what i did...lol....well im not saying but it was stupid.
hey we all make mistakes...lol.
nomorepanic
10-10-05, 20:29
Andy
Who's been a naughty boy then [}:)][:O][:P]
Glad things are going well for you and thanks for the update. Sorry you couldn't make AT - maybe next time eh?
Nicola
"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"
hi all
i chanced upon this post and found it so inspiring - i had a similar sinking into anxiety with some major depression thrown in - and while on a career break as well!! getting back to work took a level of effort that i can hardly believe i managed - i felt so ill every day for 6 months but managed to get my work done with only a few days off sick for a cold. I was close to hospitalisation at the early stages as well - and did all the 'is this schizophrenia or bipolar?' stuff as well after clearing the medical stuff such as a stroke/tumour etc
this post made me smile and helped stop the memories of these experiences from causing further trauma so i thought i would bring this to the top again - i have a copy on my laptop and read it now and then
slowly slowly - i found we can cope with so much that we don't realise but we have to act better way before we feel better to get that recovery
cheers jos
Thank you Jos for bringing this back to the top and Doddy for the original post - I hadn't seen it before! It's really so inspiring!
I recently started CBT and have been really surprised at how quickly I have improved, although I am under huge stress at the moment so I don't know how I will be over the next few months...
It's so good to hear about people who feel really really recovered!
Thank you! And keep going strong!!!!!:D:D
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
hello all........im actually doddy but have lost my log in for some reason....have I been erased Nic??? surely not.....
anyways....just read my post from 2006....wow...god i did go through he mill didnt I...but...pleased to say.....all is good in my panic world...or no panic world should I say..........
only poppped back in to find meg if shes still about...just need to pick her brains on a personal matter if she is...so Meg...give me an email if you can..Ta luv.
anyways..whilst im here let me just say...yep you can recover..you can do it without meds but doesnt mean you have too...and yes you can lead a great live and achieve all your goals.......
i was where alot of you all are today some 4 years ago........and what can I say.....with this site......support......meg in particular , Claire Weekes book " Essential Help for your nerves" and perhaps most importnatly of all time and patience im now panic free......
hey..i still get a little over top about things.....but thats just me....but it doesnt decend into panic or an obsessive anxiety as it once did.......
A message, simple but true, it can be overcome....because its just silly thoughts making you feel this way!!! and you are all way to special to allow silly thoughts to make you feel this bad......
cant quite belive just how big this site is now...great job Nic...you should be so proud.
might pop back again soon as writing this put a huge smile on my face just knowing that many of you will smile again everso soon......trust me!!!
take care ladies and gents.
doddy/doddy1
Thank you so much doddy. Havina a bad day so logged in. Your story gives me hope for my recovery. You are an inspiration!!!!
Hope you keep well
Chantelle
sorry to hear you are having or were having a bad day Chantelle.....
we sometimes need the bad ones to enjoy the good ones......so always take the bad ones as something to learn from if you can.....
Make sure your eating well, some excerise if possible.......and dont give yourself a tough time........just let it wash over you and move on......just silly thoughts making you rotten........nothing more nothing less.
thanks for your kind words, glad to be of help.....
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