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never2late
29-07-08, 17:09
An Open Letter to My Panic and Anxiety:

Good morning panic and anxiety.

Today is not only the first day of the rest of my life (as they say), but it is also the first day of the rest of yours.

I want you to know that I am fed up. I also want you to know that some changes are going to be made around here, effective immediately.

I've put up with you most of my life. But I'm not the same person I was back then, and along the way I've learned all about you. I know how you pick on those that fear you. The more someone fears you, the more powerful you become. You are a bully, plain and simple. But, like most bullies, you are also a coward . . . and that is going to be your downfall.

I am not going to fight you to defeat you. I know from learning and experience that I'll lose that battle, for sure. In fact, I am going to beat you by going along with you. That's right, no resistance at all. I've got a feeling that you simply can't handle that in a person, can you?

So, as of today, you are free to take your best shot. I'm here waiting for you. You see, my strength will be my weapon, so make sure you give it your best shot.

I missed you today. Instead of you looking for me, I was looking for you. Where were you? I called out to you several times, but you were nowhere to be found. Were you hiding? I gave you the best opportunity that you've ever had to do your best, but I received no response in return.

What were you thinking when you watched me take out my cell phone and leave it in the car? Did you scratch your head when I took the pill case containing my "emergency" xanax and locked it in the glove compartment? That must have been quite confusing for you!

Oh, don't get me wrong, I felt you at first. Yes I did! You began to make my heart beat faster like you've always done in the past. But you were hesitant. When I began addressing you directly, with such talk as "ok, here I am, take your best shot", I can only imagine the look on your face! But as I moved away from the car and began my walking journey, you didn't pounce -- you retreated. I called and called for you, but were too confused to respond. Where were the skipped heart beats that sent me to the hospital the other night? You could have thrown a few of those my way, but you didn't. I think better that you COULDN'T. Isn't that right?

My friend (whomever, whatever you are), I am exposing you to the entire world here on this forum as the fraud that you are. From here on out you are welcome to come on anytime, anywhere you please. I am here waiting for you. Let's see what you've got to offer. But you better be ready for me to just take it as it comes -- because I no longer care about you or what you can do. I now know that, given the right circumstances, you can't do anything at all, can you?

Bring it on.

yorkylover
29-07-08, 17:15
Thats excellent:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

lizzie29
29-07-08, 17:30
What an amazing, cleverly written letter, I really hope it helps you to get better.

marie1974
29-07-08, 17:35
oh wow wot a brilliant thread and welldone u, you got that spot on. xx

pooh
29-07-08, 17:42
:yesyes:

Pooh x

orangeblossom
29-07-08, 18:13
That was wonderful! Thank you for sharing that! I just logged onto the site as I was really panicking - considering walking to meet my other half from work and feeling completely panic stricken, light-headed etc etc etc... but you know, the lines "So, as of today, you are free to take your best shot. I'm here waiting for you. You see, my strength will be my weapon, so make sure you give it your best shot." make me feel a heck of a lot better! Still procrastinating about whether to go out or not, but feel bit better about making the decision!!!

debera
30-07-08, 01:00
wow that was great. thank you for sharing
debera:hugs: :hugs:

Lou~Lou
30-07-08, 08:31
Fantastic and very much the way ive been treating my anxiety lately. Face the bully and it retreats! If you can get into this way of thinking guys I promise you it works. Stop fearing the fear and it really does ease.

Great letter, everyone suffering anxiety should read it.

JohnBliss
30-07-08, 22:00
I too have been adopting your approach recently and feel much better for it.I actually call my anxiety my friend and protector because I think it is trying to save me from embarassment at best.imagined danger at worst.I thank it for its concern tell it I'm fine and get on with it .This approach is certainly blunting the anxiety along with just letting the anxious thoughts pass by without questioningthem or even giving them any attention
All the best
John

titchjd
30-07-08, 22:15
That was fantastic and very well written i actually felt myself thinking Yeah I can beat this so a very big thank you .......and i hope you carry on with that way of thinking and have a very fullfilled life xxxxx

Thank you
Titch xxxxxx

never2late
05-08-08, 17:48
An update:

After talking things over with my wife, we both visited the family doctor yesterday, and I (very politely) spoke with him about no longer being a part of the health care system any longer. We reached an agreement, shook hands, and I walked out of the medical center feeling like a free man. That's one monkey off my back.

I then proceeded to drive over to our local ticket agent, and purchase two tickets for a rock concert last night. What better way to thumb my nose at my anxiety and panic than to place myself in the middle of tens of thousands of people with flashing lights and loud music!?!

Well, the concert wasn't in progress for 10 minutes before I began to feel that "rising" level of anxiety that eventually leads to panic. I braced myself -- realizing that there was no way I was going to EVER get any medical attention, or even get out of that crowd, without quite an effort. I knew, despite thousands of others around me, that it was really just me, and "it" (as Dr. Weekes calls it).

I thought of everyone here at the forum (I really did). I thought about how much everyone suffers from this crap, how I'm just totally fed up, and just took the plunge off the deep end and said "Come on. Here I am. Do it. Let's see what you've got" (more or less in words that I cannot post here at the forum).

"You don't have ME in YOUR grip . . . YOU are finally in MY grip".

IMMEDIATELY, the wave began to diminish. I gave it a "where are you going?" type of thought. Poked a little fun at how impotent it really is. And my wife and I then rocked the night away with everyone else.

Went to bed. Slept like a baby. And woke up to most beautiful sunny, blue skies I think I've ever witnessed.

That was my victory night.

titchjd
05-08-08, 17:52
well done and congrats and hope u enjoyed rocking the night away at concert xxxx
Titch xxxxx