New to this board. Anxiety rules me

[Pansy]

This is a big step for me because I usually keep everything to myself. I can't open up to anyone about how bad my anxiety is. I am in my 50's and have a husband who sees everything in black & white. He does care, but cannot understand the feelings I get with anxiety and panic are very physical. I expect you have all had them at sometime...............pounding heart, dry mouth, feeling of dread, convinced a heart attack is imminent. He can't/won't try listening. The rest of my family are much the same..................rushing about in their lives...............what I have is in my imagination apparently.
I have been to the Docs, and my GP is quite good but there just doesn't seem to be any practical help for sufferers. I managed to get 6 sessions of CBT after 12 weeks of waiting, but there is such a long waiting list. I can't afford private.
I feel totally alone with this and feel like I'm walking through treacle :weep:

My main problem is health anxiety and I can't rid myself of the worry of 'just about to have a heart attack'. I am sure it is totally illogical..........the main symptoms of an attack are just not there. My BP is high and I am on a course of meds to bring it down, and they are working at the moment. One Doc said to me 'Your BP is too high, I'll prescribe something because we don't want you to have a heart attack or stroke'. I'm sure that's what has set me off on this particular course! I seem to lock on to symptons and check them on the net and hey presto! what do you know, I've got that illness.
The internet is brilliant, but also dangerous.
Oops..........sorry this is so long winded. Now I've read through this post it looks so pathetic, I just wish I could get this of the feeling of doom hanging over me.
Thanks for listening.
Pansy

[Lou~Lou]

Hi Pansy and welcome to the board. Your post doesnt look pathetic at all. You will find lots of posts on here from people who suffer the same as you so you hopefully will begin to feel you arent alone.
Has the DR not prescribed you any meds for your Anxiety? There certainly are some that work brilliant for anxiety.

Lou x

[kellie]

Hiya hun :welcome: to NMP its lovely to have you here.
You will get lots of support/advice/reasurance and make some great freinds along the way. Im also a health anx sufferer so i understand how scared and helpless you can feel a lot of the time. It can be very hard for a non suffer to understand why you feel this way but your are now amongst ppl who do understand and are willing to listen and help as much as they can.

plz dont be scared to open up and talk to us about things, as everyone here is so lovely and helpful. keep posting and we will help you as much as we can.

take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

kellie.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Pansy,

Welcome to the site. Many here will understand how you feel and you will get support. I can see why you would feel that way because of what your doctor said but try to realize that now your blood pressure is down. Also, please never google, it only gets you into trouble. Glad you are here.

Take care,

Laura

[lorac]

Hello Pansy

:welcome: to the site I am sure you find lots of good advice and support on here, no googling please it doesn't do any good.


Take care

Carol

[milly jones]

hi pansy

welcome to nmp

have u looked at livinglifetothefull.co.uk, online cbt?

milly xxx

[Lindalou64]

Hellp Pansy And Welcome To The Site ,wish Ya Well,linda

[Pansy]

Thank you all for your kind words.

I hereby promise not to google.

I look forward to keeping in touch with you all. Today is not too bad, trying to be positive.


Pansy

[Lilith1980]

Hi Pansy

Welcome to NMP :)

Jo xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Pansy

A warm :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here

Hope we can be of some help

[weeble40]

welcome to NMP hope to see you around sometime

Emma xxx

[RosieXXX]

Hi Pansy,

I am sure I have posted in the wrong place - seem to be hopeless with computers.

I wanted to thank you for your welcome to the board. This seems to be such a warm friendly site, and I am sure will be of help. It really is good to find other people who are in a similar situation.

Health anxiety is my main conern too. Really is debilitating - extremely difficult to shake off - and I tend to go from one thing to another. Can be very frightening and lonely.

I hope I will be able to give you support when you need it.:)

[mikejames]

Hi there

You sound just the same as me
I know how bad the symptoms can be sweetheart but you will be fine

Stick with it and keep positive

Welcome to a place for help and support

MIKE

[titchjd]

Hi Pansy and welcome 2 NMP ...Firstly your post is most definately NOT pathetic hun ....You have anxiety and like many people on here will get lots of help support and advice .
Its hard for your husband or any1 else 2 imagine what its like as they have never been through it ..people think you can just pull yourself 2getha ..as they always say and move on ...I mean if it was that simple we wouldnt be here on this site .
How did you find CBT wen u did it ?
Just remember you are not on your own there are many of us the same as you darling .
Take care and spk soon xxx
Titch xxxxxxx

[Pansy]

Thanks again everybody for all the kind words.

Titch.............I found the CBT good. I surprised myself by telling the therapist a lot more than I have have told anyone, ever. A lot of stuff came out which had been hidden. I have never had a friend or relative I have felt I could trust by telling them my thoughts and feelings. The only time I confided in someone, I found out that what I told them was spread about. I vowed then never to tell anyone anything, and I am sure a lot of my problems stem from keeping things bottled. CBT is definitley worth doing, but I found it exhausting, and rewarding. I had six sessions.

Rosie...........you are so right about it being so debilitating! I feel permanently tired, even after a nights sleep.

We are here to support each other.

Pansy

[bluebell55]

Pansy,

I understand about the friend and family thing.

Most of my family are a fair distance from me so it's hard to talk to them anyway.

I did have what I thought was a good friend until all this started to happen to me. I confided almost eveything to her and she let me down in a big way by telling other people, not only what I'd said, but made up stuff I hadn't said as well.

It's hard to trust after something like that.

[Pansy]

It really sucks that some people choose to spread things given to them in confidence. I find I can't trust anybody...............or maybe I haven't found the right friend yet. My family don't even know I'm on this board, and I won't be telling them about it yet. I am quite secretive about lots of things now. Bluebell, do you find you get like that?

It's amazing that we will tell complete strangers lots about ourselves, but can't trust our nearest and dearest.

Pansy

[bluebell55]

Pansy,

Thats exactly how things are with me. None of my family know I'm on here either. I don't think I will tell them.

It is so much easier to talk to strangers, especially through a computer like this, because we are as anonymous as we want to be and need never come face to ace with those we tell our secrets and fears to.

Its so much harder with those we are close to. I would not get the same understanding ad support from my family as I know I will be getting from people, like yourself, who go through the same problems.

It would be great to have a true friend that you could trust competely and get a real hug rather than a virtual one.