paediatrian appt today and still worried.

[rainbow]

I posted here before about a lump on my ds's back, i went to my gp and she said she thought it ws a lipoma as did another gp that i saw 2 days later when i went back in a panic. Took my ds to his paediatric appt today and now feel worse than ever. The consultant did'nt think it was a lipoma and mentioned maybe cartilage or bone so sent my ds for an x-ray. I asked him if he thought it was serious and he did say he did'nt think it was and that if he did then he would be doing things differently and that also my ds would'nt be able to move about so easily. He also wants an ultrasound scan done and for us to go back to see him in the next 6/8 weeks just to see if there is any change in the lump. Waiting for the x-ray rsults is going to be hell. I could'nt go into work tonight as i feel sure that i'd break down, i work on a checkout and just don't think it would be possible for me to be happy and pleasant with the customers. Luckily my manager was very understanding.

This health anxiety is just so all consuming, i've been having terrible thoughts over the past 3 weeks of my poor little boy going through chemo, with no hair and so ill, and worse. Its tearing me apart. I asked my partner if he had thoughts like this an he said that he did'nt. I also asked him how worried he was after speaking to the consultant, on a scale of 1 to 10 and he said a 2/3, i said for me it was about 7/8. Is my behaviour concerning this abnormal and extreme? I always imagine the very worst situation. When i feel like this, i'm not living, i'm just existing.

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Rainbow,

Worrying about our children is normal especially when something out of the ordinary is happening. You have done the right steps to see that all healthcare has been done for him. I think now you should step back a bit and try to relax if you can. As for the future, you might want to talk to your GP about counseling regarding your anxiety. Do you worry about yourself like this too? I have personally always felt that we need help by counseling or medication when our anxiety or depression has gotten to the point where it affects the way we live, treat others or harms anyone.

You remind me of myself when my boys were younger and I don't want you to have to live the way I lived for so many years worrying myself sick over them and no my husband has never felt the way I did and somedays still can. Do take care and I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

Laura

[rainbow]

hi thanks for getting back to me. I do have this problem about myself, in the past i've been conviced that i had bowel cancer, a brain tumour, cervical cancer, dvt and more. I really wish someone could help me with this. This is no way to live.

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Rainbow,

You are right it is no way to live and I was lucky that I didn't have health anxiety about myself. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. If I were you, I would definately go see my GP and get some counseling, it couldn't hurt could it? Please do it for yourself and for your family life too. If you read my bio I was driving my family crazy with all my antics but I honestly could not help it. I did not want to be that way, I didn't even like me, if you know what I mean. NMP will help so I'm glad you are here.

Take care,

Laura

[rainbow]

thanks again for your reply. My anxiety is definately becoming worse and i don't seem to be getting any help at all from my gp. I did have a cpn before which i found very helpful as i don't really have anyone else to speak to and it was so good to be able to talk about some of the things that were on my mind and not feel like some kind of freak.

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Rainbow,

Well you are no freak at all!!! I know your healthcare system is very different from ours so I can't suggest how to go about getting care over there but I would try and see how you could find someone to talk to if your GP isn't helping you. I personally found that meds helped me but don't know if that is a route for you to take, that is what you need to talk to someone about, what is best for you as an individual. You are not alone in these feelings you just have to find someone who will understand what you are going through. Most family members who don't have anxiety can't quite get it as they can't see physically see that there is a problem. A broken arm they could understand, getting scared because a cut finger might turn into a huge infection where blah blah blah (you know what I mean) they don't understand.

Believe me when I say you aren't the only one who feels alone with this problem with no one to turn to. You will find help and you will get better. I do hope today was a good day for you.

Many hugs,

Laura

[rainbow]

I am on 20mg of citalopram and have been since my dd was about a year old, i was prescribed them because of post natal depression and also my dad died at that time. I really don't think depression i my problem because i'm quite happy and contented until some health worry starts and then everything gets out of control. I want to sort this out. My 22 yo ds has mental health problems and is on anti phsycotics and my 23 yo dd has been diagnosed with bi-polar and i feel that its my fault that they are having these problems. My children are my life.

[Southern_Belle]

I'm going to pm you. It is not your fault at all.

Laura :)