What is next then?

[jonngait]

Hello, my name is Jonn and I am 17 years old. I've been suffering from panic disorder the last two years now. It was sincerely the hardest thing I ever had to deal with.
But I managed to do it. I fought with it and I won it. Now, I am in the end of my therapy and I am leading a nearly normal life again. But I had to sacrifice a lot to do so. And now that it's all coming to an end, I have started to miss some things I gave up.
One day, I was happy and I knew what I wanted from my life. And now, I don't have the smallest hint about it. I am useless in everything. I was just doing an exercise before and I started to cry because I realised how useless I am. I used to be such a great student, I could become everything I had dreamt of, but now, everything is gone.
It just doesn't feel like me anymore. I lost Jonn in the way of winning panic. I wish I didn't lose myself after all.

[Captain America]

you know if i had a time machine, and went back to before the panic started, i'd end up in the same place i am now. why? because i wasn't smart enough then to realize what was happening to me and what was building in me. so i can't get back the last year, but i do still have goals. some of them are new, some are old.

i think if you wrote down what you really wanted out of life you could find a way to achieve it, even with the anxiety. you've come this far, so why think you have to stop now?

[marie1974]

hiya john and welcome, i really think that u are probably being way to hard on yourself and you are still the clever, ambitious, happy john that u were before its just at the moment something has triggered this panic in you and u have lost your self believe. like captain says write down what u want to do in life and your goals etc and also write down think about what u think may have made you feel this way and work through them both. you can get back your confidence and self esteem and get back to exactly where u were before u felt this way. wot ever u do in life always make sure you are donig it for u and no one else, otherwise u will feel very pressurised, this is your life hun and make the most of it, u are clever and a good person and u will be ok hugs xxx

[diane07]

Aww hi john and welcome to nmp.

gosh hun, don't beat yourself up, you can and you will find john.
You are not useless at all, if you tell yourself that then you will believe it.
You are a young man who has his whole life in front of him and you can basically do whatever you want to do and be whatever you want to be in life, because you have just beaten your panic disorder, don't you think that that alone is something amazing. I'm sure you wouldn't sit there telling your best mate that he was useless and he's no good for anything, so why tell yourself that. You will find you again, always believe that, you just have to do a bit of searching thats all.

we'll help you all we can, but always believe in yourself

best wishes

di xx

[jonngait]

Hey, guys, you are all so sweet! You've made my day, honestly! :)

You are right, I must consider (or re-consider) my goals and see what I can do. And... Maybe I can do it after all, right? :blush:

Thank you for your kind words! Today is a new day and, dare I say it, I feel capable of doing anything, far from useless..... :shades:

I am not that new in nmp, it's just that I didn't use the forum that much, because I thought I couldn't offer some help when it was needed. But now, I think I can help others with panic. :noangel:

I am off for a walk now. See you later and thanks again!!!!!!

[Luke]

Hi John. I went through a rough period of several years in my life (this was many years ago) and once I had identified that it was anxiety that I was suffering from it helped me on my way. I could feel an attack coming on and I went with it - knowing and telling myself that it would pass as it had done before. I felt as though there was no purpose to anything anymore and felt as though life was a waste of time. All that I can advise is that someday the pain that you have experienced will become usefull to you. You are young and you will find your niche. maybe you are not going down the right path and you may have to change direction in your career. I tried several occupations before I found my niche. There were lots of hurdles on the way, some you will struggle with and some that you leap over - each one makes you stronger.