Had a bad day...

[Venus Calling]

Just checking in for a moan!

As I was falling asleep last night I felt the on-coming of a PA but as I was tired I fell asleep. I woke up feeling ok but the day gradually went downhill - by about 11.30am I was in the middle of a full blown PA. With the help of my relaxation MP3's I managed to see it through and then got an invite to go to the cinema with a friend. I haven't been since I saw The Dark Knight and had a PA all the way through it so I was a bit apprehensive to say the least but thought I may as well go despite not feeling great. I again had attacks whilst watching the film (X Files) but was a bit more prepared for them this time and had taken a shawl to combat the air conditioning which seemed to affect me last time. I felt a PA coming on whilst I was driving but managed to see that one through and basically that is how my day has been - a wave of PA's or the residue of them all day. I am still having the chest pains and the feeling my left arm is sunburnt (it isn't) - so I feel rough, worn out and fed up of this. I can take a lot of the symptoms thrown up by this illness but the chest pains are not one of them - no matter how many times I read if you've had an ECG and it was fine (I've had two) it doesn't help.

I've had the chest pains longer than the panic attacks as I noticed them over a year ago and blamed all the fizzy mineral water I drank. How do I get it into my brain that it is all down to anxiety? How many times can I tell myself it is? Carry on doing things like normal when I feel like I am losing it? I'm not enjoying anything anymore, my eyes are constantly puffy from crying and I know everyone around me is fed of me going on about it all the time. Bridget Jones is on now - one of my favourite films but I can't even be bothered to watch it. I'd have a drink except I'm scared it will trigger an attack. How am I supposed to enjoy anything always wondering if I'll have an attack?

Sorry for the long post - just feeling sorry for myself. :weep:

[Anna C]

Hi,

I'm sorry you have had a bad day. I hope you are feeling okay now.
I have to say if I could make it as far as the cinema and then stay to watch the whole film I would count that as being a really big success! You also dealt with your PA, while you were driving. You also used your relaxation mp3's to help your symptoms.

I know that you are feeling fed up and worn out - I often feel that way too.
But I don't think you should discount how well you have done today, I think you have coped really well. You shoud be proud of yourself, well done for what you have achieved today.:D

I'm sorry I can't help with the cheast pains as I don't get this. I'm sure someone else does and they will help.

I can relate to the 'feeling of losing it' but you're not its just because your feeling so down.

If you are feeling down or feeling sorry for yourself, this is the right place to come for some support or just to rant. Please try not to be so hard on yourself, it sounds like you're really trying to get better.

Take care Anna :hugs:

[Venus Calling]

Thank you Anna for your kind words. I didn't even think to look at it from that point of view. The chest pains have eased off a bit but I still feel very tearful.

I was reading about the perimenopause earlier and as I am 45 years old it would make sense. I had a lot of the symptons for over a year now and then they just all came on at once four months ago. I'm just looking for answers. My doctor is useless and always makes me feel like I shouldn't be bothering her so I opt to see the locum (a different one each time) who are just as unhelpful, it just makes me dispair.

Hopefully I won't feel so down tomorrow.

[pooh]

Hey Jupiter

I second Anna you achieved so much. Well done you. I get chest pains from anxiety and if it feels really bad i take a painkiller. If you try to remember how tense our muscles can be when we are anxious, over a prolonged period it can be painful and exhausting on the muscles. I try to do something daily that relieves my stress there fore reducing this symptom.

Hope this helps

Pooh xx

[andrewc]

Hi Jupiter

I totally agree what the other two commented on that you should be proud you can bring panic under control cos I know it isnt easy. I cant tell from your post but what are you doing about getting rid of it? Have you been refered for therapy? And are you taking any medication?
I know a lot of people are paranoid about taking medication but its not as bad as people think. Sometimes you need something to get you over the difficult period and then therapy to get to the root of the problem. Please post and let us know.

Best of luck

Andy

[Venus Calling]

I can't sleep now! :weep: I've been tossing and turning for a couple of hours and decided I might as well get up.

I'm not on any medication - I was given Propranolol but won't take it, mainly because I just don't take pills. I want to control this myself if I can, fool hardy perhaps but I have to try. The only crutch I have in life is the one I walk with! I saw a different doctor at the surgery and said I didn't want to be on medication so he suggested counselling. My first appointment isn't until the 11th August. I know I am incredibly stubborn which probably doesn't help but once I set my mind to something I won't budge!

Despite having had no sleep up to now I am definitely feeling a bit brighter - although very bleary eyed. It's a new day, I'll pick myself up and start again. :yesyes:

[Anna C]

Hi,

I just wanted to say, I hope you're having a happier day today.
Good luck with the counseling, when you start having it.
Is changing your doctor's surgery an option if you are unhappy with the doctor you have now?
I don't take any medication either, when I went to my doctors about counselling I didn't ask for medication and he didn't offer it.

Although as Andrew said it does help alot of people to get well again.

Take care Anna
:hugs: