coffeemug30uk
03-08-08, 14:48
Dear All.
Hello. I am writing here for the first time so I thought I would introduce myself.
My name is coffee and I am a 38 yr old man. I think I suffer from health anxiety syndrome. And I really do not know what to do about it so have come across this site in an attempt to find some long term solutions for this really disabling condition.
My story really starts in 2004 when I developed muscle twitches. I ended up seeing a neuro who did nerve conduction studies which proved normal. Shortly after my twitching stopped.
In 2005 I found a lump on my knee, and thinking it was cancer really fell apart. The orthopods took it out and told me it was not cancer. Instead it was a cholesterol lump, and that led directly to a fear of dying early from heart disease.
I started on a vigorous diet and exercise regime, lost loads of weight, and then developed chest pains in 2006. Ended up seeing a cardiologist who organised a stress ECHO which was normal and an EBCT which showed calcium deposits in my coronary arteries- that made my life a living hell.
It took me 6 months to return to some semblence of normality though I would wake up every morning and think I was lucky to have survived the previous 24 hrs. Doing exercise was a great way to reassure myself that I was doing ok from a heart point of view and keep my tensions etc at bay.
Then in 2007 I developed tummy pains and frequency of bowel motion. I ended up seeing a bowel specialist who did not do any tests and suggested it was irritable bowel syndrome from stress. This settled after 6 weeks or so. I also found a lump in my neck in 2007 and saw surgeons who did not remove it and said it was benign. I had 2 scans on this lump and eventually came to live with the fact that this was not going to kill me.
In early 2008 I developed pain in my right hip which I thought was a fracture. I went to see a joint specialist who told me to take anti-infammatories and that it would setltle down. It did not settle down and I ended up seeing another sports specialist who organised an MRI scan of the hips pelvis and back. This was all normal other than some mild inflammation of the hip which settled after a course of anti-inflammatories.
About 5 weeks or so ago I had a bout of coughing followed by the sensation that there was something stuck in my throat and it hurt when swallowing my saliva. I have now seen 3 ENT surgeons who cannot find anything wrong with me. I have had 2 of them pass a laryngoscope down my throat, and 1 has passed a tube down my throat to look at my vocal cords- all could not find anything. I have alot of muscle tension on the right side of my neck and cannot get it out of my head that something is going on.
So, I ask myself, why has this all become so big a deal over the last few years. I suspect there are many things that have led to this.
I have always been of a nervous disposition from childhood. I covered my anxiety with solid front and got on with things. I did not get support from anyone and did not rely on anyone. I was a very isolated child. As I grew up I started forming relationships with people and this forced to face my emotions. I struggled with this and still find it hard to share my emotions. My job involves caring for people with health problems. I see people with lots of sickness and struggling. It desperately feeds my anxiety.
The effect this all has had on me is profound. I verge on the brink of sliding downhill. I constantly ruminate about my symptoms. I do not sleep well. I am forever running to the doctors and specialists. I have paid a small fortune in private fees. And I am getting tired of it all. I feel there are times when I cannot live like this anymore.
I am too embaressed to go to my doctor and share all this. I do not think he wants to listen. I want to be rid of these feelings, or at least find a way to start coping with them but do not know where to start or how to deal with it.
My choices feel rather limited at the moment and would really appreciate some advice. I did previously post here about my knee problems and got lots of sympathy- it made me feel so much better at the time. I do necessarily want sympathy- I would appreciate ideas and solutions, or directions for help.
Many thanks for reading and listening.
Coffee
Hello. I am writing here for the first time so I thought I would introduce myself.
My name is coffee and I am a 38 yr old man. I think I suffer from health anxiety syndrome. And I really do not know what to do about it so have come across this site in an attempt to find some long term solutions for this really disabling condition.
My story really starts in 2004 when I developed muscle twitches. I ended up seeing a neuro who did nerve conduction studies which proved normal. Shortly after my twitching stopped.
In 2005 I found a lump on my knee, and thinking it was cancer really fell apart. The orthopods took it out and told me it was not cancer. Instead it was a cholesterol lump, and that led directly to a fear of dying early from heart disease.
I started on a vigorous diet and exercise regime, lost loads of weight, and then developed chest pains in 2006. Ended up seeing a cardiologist who organised a stress ECHO which was normal and an EBCT which showed calcium deposits in my coronary arteries- that made my life a living hell.
It took me 6 months to return to some semblence of normality though I would wake up every morning and think I was lucky to have survived the previous 24 hrs. Doing exercise was a great way to reassure myself that I was doing ok from a heart point of view and keep my tensions etc at bay.
Then in 2007 I developed tummy pains and frequency of bowel motion. I ended up seeing a bowel specialist who did not do any tests and suggested it was irritable bowel syndrome from stress. This settled after 6 weeks or so. I also found a lump in my neck in 2007 and saw surgeons who did not remove it and said it was benign. I had 2 scans on this lump and eventually came to live with the fact that this was not going to kill me.
In early 2008 I developed pain in my right hip which I thought was a fracture. I went to see a joint specialist who told me to take anti-infammatories and that it would setltle down. It did not settle down and I ended up seeing another sports specialist who organised an MRI scan of the hips pelvis and back. This was all normal other than some mild inflammation of the hip which settled after a course of anti-inflammatories.
About 5 weeks or so ago I had a bout of coughing followed by the sensation that there was something stuck in my throat and it hurt when swallowing my saliva. I have now seen 3 ENT surgeons who cannot find anything wrong with me. I have had 2 of them pass a laryngoscope down my throat, and 1 has passed a tube down my throat to look at my vocal cords- all could not find anything. I have alot of muscle tension on the right side of my neck and cannot get it out of my head that something is going on.
So, I ask myself, why has this all become so big a deal over the last few years. I suspect there are many things that have led to this.
I have always been of a nervous disposition from childhood. I covered my anxiety with solid front and got on with things. I did not get support from anyone and did not rely on anyone. I was a very isolated child. As I grew up I started forming relationships with people and this forced to face my emotions. I struggled with this and still find it hard to share my emotions. My job involves caring for people with health problems. I see people with lots of sickness and struggling. It desperately feeds my anxiety.
The effect this all has had on me is profound. I verge on the brink of sliding downhill. I constantly ruminate about my symptoms. I do not sleep well. I am forever running to the doctors and specialists. I have paid a small fortune in private fees. And I am getting tired of it all. I feel there are times when I cannot live like this anymore.
I am too embaressed to go to my doctor and share all this. I do not think he wants to listen. I want to be rid of these feelings, or at least find a way to start coping with them but do not know where to start or how to deal with it.
My choices feel rather limited at the moment and would really appreciate some advice. I did previously post here about my knee problems and got lots of sympathy- it made me feel so much better at the time. I do necessarily want sympathy- I would appreciate ideas and solutions, or directions for help.
Many thanks for reading and listening.
Coffee