Why doesn't anyone care?

[xBettyBoopx]

I am totally alone! My so called friends have gone, my family aren't what I would call a family, they have very little contact with me. I was made redundant from 4 jobs, although I say it myself, I was very good at them. I have lost my car as I could not afford to keep it going on incap benefit. I am 99% housebound & the phone only rings about once a week and no one comes around to see me. Now my cat who is 6 years old, who I have had since she was a 8 week old kitten, has decided for the last 2 weeks that she is only gonna come in for food, she cries to go out again if she can't get out of the window.

Am I supposed to walk around thinking what a wonderful person I am even though everyone has deserted me? That it's their fault not mine? Yet what have I done to deserve this? Small wonder I cry every day or lose my cool & get angry.

I hate this so called life. I am sure that if I was 'normal' I would have friends & family who cared about me. I have lived alone for a long time, I am alone & I will die alone. I won't have anyone at my funeral pretending that they cared about me, I just won't have it. I am gonna write a letter & give a copy to a neighbour that states when I die no one is to attend my funeral, no flowers, cause if ya can't give me flowers when I'm alive, what good are they to me dead?! And I'm calling the RSPCA to come & get the cat. If she doesn't want to be here, then I don't want her here, I will NOT have my heart broken again by anyone or anything. After she's gone, that'll be it, I'll have nothing left to lose. Perhaps that thought will bring some sort of peace.

Elspeth

[marie1974]

:hugs: aww elspeth i wanna giv u a hug hun, i just came down for cuppa cos i couldnt sleep and i read your thread. my family sound same as yours, they keep me at arms length, never been there for me. im lucky i got my partner i guess. anytime u wanna talk just pm me ok and i will always listen.

no matter how crapyou feel, you will get through this and move forward hun. i have felt exactly like you are now, its horrid but u will see light at the end of the tunnel mate so dont give up.xxxx

[Alisonj]

I am so sorry you are feeling so alone. My family is the same, they never ever call. If it wasnt for my kids and husband I would be alone as well. All my friends could not understand the anxiety etc.
Anytime you want to chat on here or if you have MSN etc I am here for you. Please dont feel like you are alone because I know there are many people on here that care.
Huge Huge Hugs and I hope you feel better soon.

[milly jones]

elspeth hunny

i know its hard when ur alone at home, but there are ppl here at nmp that care very much for u.

a lot of us are in the same boat hun, and no matter how much family u may have around, u can still be lonely.

i sometimes hate all the fuss, and would prefer to go up to bed to seek peace. there have been times ive thought about leaving them to it, that there lives would be simpler without me.

but ppl here do care. ive made friends here. friends who i may never hug really, but i know their empathy and love flows out thru their posts. the care nmpers have for each other is so precious.

take heart that nmp folk do care for u. is there no one locally who u can meet up with?

ive found great peace by meeting others who have the same difficulties as me. id much rather spend time with them when im down than with family and friends who dont undertand.

like the others pls pm, or pm ur msn addy so we can chat in real time

love milly xxxx

[kendo59]

I so understand how you feel. When my ex-wife died, my son turned his back on me in a very cold and upsetting way, I lost my job, my savings have all but gone. I don't hear from friends much anymore. I know that at my age, with the depression & anxiety, it is highly unlikely I'll get another job. There are times I feel there is no point carrying on, and how simple it would be to stop all this overwhelming sadness, pain, & heartache, by going to sleep and just not waking up.

Does it help knowing there are others who understand, who are going through the same thing? Does it help that I have a partner who understands, who I should be making plans for the future with? Well, maybe, a bit.... but it still doesn't bring my family back.

[milly jones]

els u ok hunny?

xxx