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juliej
04-08-08, 09:21
We are due to go away for a week to North Devon (woolacombe)on Saturday and I woke this morning with my PA monster. Off to the loo! normal negative thoughts /terror and wanting to cancel the holiday. I get so frustrated with this and feel such a failure. Why can't I go back to that girl in her teens/twenties who did anything she wanted without a care in the world. I've read all the books , tried hypnotherapy (which has made me more relaxed) but I can't seem to loose this Panic.

Im dreading the 4 1/2hr journey in the car and this year we booked a different place than normal so now I worrying whether thats going to be okay. I know I will have a super time when I'm there as we just love it .Being on the beach all day body boarding and surfing. But I just can't seem to stop these feelings and I so want them to go:weep:

I can cope with my day to day stuff but anything out of the norm throws me in to a downward spin. My DH has been v v supportive and keeps telling me I've had a very difficult year . I nearly lost my Mum in Nov on the operating table and from there she was diagonised with secondary bowel cancer. She is only 61 and is my rock and best friend ,she didn't have any symptoms so it has been quite a shock . She has been having chemo but it will never be a cure. So I look at my Mum who has been so brave and trying to make the most of every day and I am fretting about going on a family holiday.

Sorry to go on its just sometimes feels so overwhelming and I would do anything to be panic free again.

Julie xx

Dragonless
04-08-08, 13:15
Oh Julie I understand so much of what you say... I am both stressing about our holiday coming up - not because of all the organising but I know its going to be lovely and quiet there and I am dreading coming back to all the noise etc of where I live.!!! can you bellieve it - I'm worried about coming back and I haven't even gone !!!!

And on your other point too. I have a dear friend whose wife of 28 years old has Cystic Fibrosis and wont reach 30. She struggles for breath every minute and my problems are NOTHING in comparison. Remembering her stops my 'snowball thinking' in its tracks.
Hugs to you dear... I'm sure you will find a happy medium to exist with your mum etc and you are going to have a lovely holiday. You are.

Love Dragonless X

Ameh
04-08-08, 15:06
Julie this is so like me, i am panicing over the 2hour train journey on thursday even though i know it will be fantastic to see my boyfriend again- i think distraction is the way forward...because at the end of the day you know you will have a good time after the journey.. i am just thinking 2 hours worth of panic and several days of great times- its gotta outway the bad aye?

milly jones
04-08-08, 15:16
im going friday hunny and i dont want to

away from my computer, my safe place, my friends.

just want it to be over as fast as possible so i can get home again

im planning just to walk everyday to make the days go fast

take care, ull be ok, as i will be too

milly xx

burberrygirl72
04-08-08, 19:49
im 2 going away on thursday and im so scared im gonna have a panic attack on the 9 hour flight im just gonna take one of my claire weeks books and read it then i no ill feel safe take care hun and good luck ps have a lovely holiday xx

Dave777
04-08-08, 22:26
Know how you feel Julie but I managed to get to Rome and Florence by train last year.
Loved it, but like you I had some doubts beforehand.
I'm sure you'll have a great time if you can relax and enjoy the experience of a holiday.

Dave x:flowers:

dinilove
04-08-08, 22:46
:bighug1: i myself am due to get on a plane on sunday!! aaahhh it is not a fear of flying but what if i have a PA on the plane and i cant get out to walk about and calm down?
in my head im saying " sort it out" but u cant stop the worry... in truth i worry about the pressure and the effect it will have on me, will i always be a nervouss person? i cant answer that! people say u cant die from panic and anxiety but u sill feel " what if i am the exception?" i cant spend the rest of my life like this , when ithink of all the things i have been thru , childbirth, etc i know im ok butpanic has become a comfort in some strange way.. im 25 and scared of dying, i wonder if when im 114 and on my death bed will i still be as scared? ha ha, u will be fine , u know u will but being away from ur comfort zone scrares us all , try carrying something like a healing stone and make that ur comfort , it works for me , i carry a pot of vicks!!! i cover myself in it when i feel i cant breath and it seems to work! good luck and enjoy yourself , let me know how it all went!:yesyes:

Amy2Crazy
05-08-08, 03:23
Seems like a busy travel week for us nmp'ers... I have to drive to Houston (5 hours) on Sunday to take my children to their father's new home now that summer is ending. I am pretty sure that finding out they were moving is what triggered my attacks in the first place, so I am pretty worried... but we will all be okay! Come next Monday we will all have made at least part of our trips, and I can almost guarantee we will all still be here =) We just have to try to send happy thoughts to one another as we are each doing our travelling...

Always,
Amy

purplehaze
05-08-08, 04:40
Hi

we each have something to face and by facing it we become stronger and in that moment we find the armour to defeat the pam in our lives, we then take control and find we are strong. YOU ARE A POWERFUL PERSON and you DO have the POWER to do this. Take your sword and strike a blow into pam

take care
kev

juliej
05-08-08, 13:23
Thank you for all your kind replies, its a huge comfort to know that we are all in the same boat this coming week:hugs:

I feel a lot more positive today and am just having a restful day at home with my three kiddies. A day for cards and board games the weather is pants today, washing and ironing can wait :whistles:

It will be good to hear how everyone gets on and what wonderful hols we have

take care
Julie xx